You know the type. You’re at a party, or a dinner gathering, and they talk and talk. You try to relate with them in some way, and they take it and run. Talk, talk, talk, when-I-lived-in-London-talk, talk, talk, my-great-great-grandfather-was-Cherokee, talk, talk, talk, let-me-tell-you-about-the-college-I-went-to, talk, talk, talk….
They never once ask you about your life. Anything you say is just fodder for them to talk, talk, talk.
If you’re one of these people, I’d like to let you know- you’re usually the least interesting person in the room. Keep talking. It makes you smaller and smaller.
Anyway, I just came home from a dinner party that had one of these fucks at the table. Jesus. Would’ve been a wonderful time without the incessant blah-blah-blah.
Jesus Fuck. How many hours of my life have I wasted listening to you blowhards?
I’m not making a poll. You’re all crap.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
2Guilty….however wallflowers paralyzed to open their mouths or have an opinion about anything in a social situation are no better. We’re at a dinner party, not an Ashram. I’m just improvising here man, filling space, help a brother out. ….nothing huh….okay let me tell that story about my uncle getting mugged again.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
3"People". 95% of the time it's dudes.
If there's some back and forth I can deal with it but life of the party I'M HERE types suck. Exhausting for everyone.
If there's some back and forth I can deal with it but life of the party I'M HERE types suck. Exhausting for everyone.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
4I work with 9-10 year olds. I have a bright 6 year old at home. My wife is a detail oriented person with a precise memory and a psychological need to process her experiences by recounting them verbally; like email threads, grad school assignments, mundane professional tasks.
As someone who is supposedly an extrovert, I find outside of the studio or some kind of discourse, or catching up with a friend, I often have little to say. I summarize stories to an almost Raymond Carver minimalism and often skip details part of the way through because they seem tedious and uninteresting to listener and speaker alike.
This is all to say that before I stumble into a loudmouth at a concert my listening stamina is already exhausted by people I respect and care for. It's not to disrespect these talkative humans, and I'm not on the spectrum or anything, it's just that attentive listening requires a kind of energy and the dynamics of my life seem to spend an enormous amount of it daily.
As someone who is supposedly an extrovert, I find outside of the studio or some kind of discourse, or catching up with a friend, I often have little to say. I summarize stories to an almost Raymond Carver minimalism and often skip details part of the way through because they seem tedious and uninteresting to listener and speaker alike.
This is all to say that before I stumble into a loudmouth at a concert my listening stamina is already exhausted by people I respect and care for. It's not to disrespect these talkative humans, and I'm not on the spectrum or anything, it's just that attentive listening requires a kind of energy and the dynamics of my life seem to spend an enormous amount of it daily.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
5This. Though I am decidedly (by Meyers-Briggs score, anyway) not an extrovert.losthighway wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 8:59 am I work with 9-10 year olds. I have a bright 6 year old at home. My wife is a detail oriented person with a precise memory and a psychological need to process her experiences by recounting them verbally; like email threads, grad school assignments, mundane professional tasks.
As someone who is supposedly an extrovert, I find outside of the studio or some kind of discourse, or catching up with a friend, I often have little to say. I summarize stories to an almost Raymond Carver minimalism and often skip details part of the way through because they seem tedious and uninteresting to listener and speaker alike.
This is all to say that before I stumble into a loudmouth at a concert my listening stamina is already exhausted by people I respect and care for. It's not to disrespect these talkative humans, and I'm not on the spectrum or anything, it's just that attentive listening requires a kind of energy and the dynamics of my life seem to spend an enormous amount of it daily.
Welcome to Los Angeles. Regarding the bolded part, they might ask but 1) they don't really care and wait for you to finish so they can go on about themselves more, or 2) are fishing for a connection to promote themselves; Instagram usually comes up in the conversation. It's exhausting.Dave N. wrote: You know the type. You’re at a party, or a dinner gathering, and they talk and talk. You try to relate with them in some way, and they take it and run. Talk, talk, talk, when-I-lived-in-London-talk, talk, talk, my-great-great-grandfather-was-Cherokee, talk, talk, talk, let-me-tell-you-about-the-college-I-went-to, talk, talk, talk….
They never once ask you about your life. Anything you say is just fodder for them to talk, talk, talk.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
6Yep. Have known/met a couple ladies who fit the type though.
Very occasionally you meet someone who actually has the gift of the gab and can talk all the damn time and be interesting and funny. An old friend of mine is like this, dude was the glue that held a group of introverts together. Somehow dude could just go on and on and never get irritating.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
7About half of the folks in my department at work (super geek engineers) can’t wait to hear themselves talk in a meeting.
That’s a little different than the subject of this thread, but it annoys the crap out of me. Most meetings could be like 10-15 minutes.
I do know the types being referred to in this thread. I find out who they are and I try to avoid them or have a plan in advance to excuse myself after a few minutes. I get less mad at them than the people at work as a result.
Also, as implied earlier in this thread, there’s a big difference between people who like to talk a lot and people who like to talk a lot about themselves. I generally don’t have too much of a problem with the former, as long as there is some back-and-forth.
That’s a little different than the subject of this thread, but it annoys the crap out of me. Most meetings could be like 10-15 minutes.
I do know the types being referred to in this thread. I find out who they are and I try to avoid them or have a plan in advance to excuse myself after a few minutes. I get less mad at them than the people at work as a result.
Also, as implied earlier in this thread, there’s a big difference between people who like to talk a lot and people who like to talk a lot about themselves. I generally don’t have too much of a problem with the former, as long as there is some back-and-forth.
Last edited by jfv on Sat Mar 25, 2023 9:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
jason (he/him/his) from volo (illinois)
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
8Oh yeah: boisterous, eccentric women for sure, but usually not in the domineering way that men are. I guess I can think of a few proto-Karens if I go back far enough..MoreSpaceEcho wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 9:26 amYep. Have known/met a couple ladies who fit the type though.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
9Not sure about the dudes thing. This really does seem to be an even split.
One over-talker I know—a dude, and actually also a generous and good-hearted guy—used to go on and on about his son’s experiences in the high school band. As in, the one run by the school, not a BAND band.
At an event, at a rare break in his monologue, another dad mentioned how he’d played in a band in high school and college. This time, it meant an actual band, as in four or five folks doing their own thing.
Over-talker dad, for once, didn’t hijack the conversation. Because he was thoroughly perplexed. He could quite literally not get his head around the notion that teenagers might play in a band that wasn’t the school band. It dawned on me that everything over-talker dad had been saying about his son’s experience involved placement in band competitions, usefulness on college resumes, etc. Not a single word about enjoyment or artistry.
I was probably the rude one that night, because I’m sure I couldn’t hide my incredulity.
One over-talker I know—a dude, and actually also a generous and good-hearted guy—used to go on and on about his son’s experiences in the high school band. As in, the one run by the school, not a BAND band.
At an event, at a rare break in his monologue, another dad mentioned how he’d played in a band in high school and college. This time, it meant an actual band, as in four or five folks doing their own thing.
Over-talker dad, for once, didn’t hijack the conversation. Because he was thoroughly perplexed. He could quite literally not get his head around the notion that teenagers might play in a band that wasn’t the school band. It dawned on me that everything over-talker dad had been saying about his son’s experience involved placement in band competitions, usefulness on college resumes, etc. Not a single word about enjoyment or artistry.
I was probably the rude one that night, because I’m sure I couldn’t hide my incredulity.
Re: People Who Talk Way Too Fucking Much
10This isn't what OP is talking about, BUT...
I come from a very MIDWESTERN family and when we talk to each other it can be very minimalist or:
Dad: Tells story
(pause) (laughter)
Mom: Adds Something...
(3 min pause)
Mom: goes on to something else.
I married into a very East Coast Jewish family. Their way of communicating was so foreign to me at first (not totally as my first job was at a JCC).
Father In Law: Tells story--
Mother In Law: Shouts him down toward the end of the story to add something
My Wife: Barrels into something totally different.
There are almost no pauses in conversation, and it is expected or at least not rude to shout over to get into the conversation. I was so conditioned to wait for the pause in conversation to add my bit, when they never came, I sat there like a schmuck. They can keep this up at a frenzied pace that can make my head spin sometimes. Over ten years in now, I am much better at this, but is against my natural way of communicating and after a few days visit I can feel like I did a marathon sprint.
I come from a very MIDWESTERN family and when we talk to each other it can be very minimalist or:
Dad: Tells story
(pause) (laughter)
Mom: Adds Something...
(3 min pause)
Mom: goes on to something else.
I married into a very East Coast Jewish family. Their way of communicating was so foreign to me at first (not totally as my first job was at a JCC).
Father In Law: Tells story--
Mother In Law: Shouts him down toward the end of the story to add something
My Wife: Barrels into something totally different.
There are almost no pauses in conversation, and it is expected or at least not rude to shout over to get into the conversation. I was so conditioned to wait for the pause in conversation to add my bit, when they never came, I sat there like a schmuck. They can keep this up at a frenzied pace that can make my head spin sometimes. Over ten years in now, I am much better at this, but is against my natural way of communicating and after a few days visit I can feel like I did a marathon sprint.
guitar in - weaklungband.bandcamp.com/