When I think of cheeze, I do think about the polished queef bass but the first thing that came to kind even before that was all the music in reality TV shows like Love Is Blind.

Generally:
- when present, the snare is always reinforced with a clap, and they’re both over-verbed
- the mix tends to be side chained from the kick drum at least a little (excepting the vocals) to get that “dilettante club kid” vibe
- there are two flavors: “upbeat” or “sad”. Upbeat songs always have a sawtooth synth bass sound; sad songs have the 2020s version of the queef bass, a part that plays at its fastest quarter notes with no top end at all
- upbeat songs have multitracked vocals with some kind of surreal huge reverb on them. Sad songs always sound like the singer is about to eat the mic
- sad songs always feature an acoustic guitar or piano with a high-end boost playing some tuneless arpeggio
- upbeat songs tend to steal at least one element from that MGMT song for the chorus. You know the one. Usually it’s the fizzy synth part, so it sounds like the waves are crashing and dolphins are fucking during the chorus
- the whole mix is eq’d with a smile curve

^ This is so studiously specific, I want a listenable example! (And I don't want to watch the TV show)

penningtron wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 9:20 amOn the flip side who the hell would return to most of the mainstream rock/pop music of the early 2000s.

Hell, even this




I'd rather listen to than a dozen 80s songs I could think of.

brephophagist wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 11:14 am When I think of cheeze, I do think about the polished queef bass but the first thing that came to kind even before that was all the music in reality TV shows like Love Is Blind.

We hate-watch those shows (multiple countries' worth) and everything you point out is true. We've even joked about the people tasked with making these songs: this music will basically die an instant death after their 30 seconds of use in the show. Hell maybe it's all 'composed' by randos on fiverr..

Another horrid modern cliche: the bootstomp/clap rhythm section that's like 'We Will Rock You' on steroids, a fake blues-y singer with autotune, and a background chorus of 'millennial whoops' that sounds like 400 tracks of the same guy.

Or what about the recently ubiquitous whistle hook? Bleh.

penningtron wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 11:52 am

brephophagist wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 11:14 am When I think of cheeze, I do think about the polished queef bass but the first thing that came to kind even before that was all the music in reality TV shows like Love Is Blind.

We hate-watch those shows (multiple countries' worth) and everything you point out is true. We've even joked about the people tasked with making these songs: this music will basically die an instant death after their 30 seconds of use in the show. Hell maybe it's all 'composed' by randos on fiverr..

We had a similar idea: in an empty warehouse, two sweaty white guys with ponytails crouch over a 48-channel Behringer mixer with a laptop beside it. Nearby is a U87 on a stand with one of those iso semi-circles. As the dailies come in, they call names from a stable of Dua Lipa / John Legend / Jack Johnson / Adele soundalikes waiting at the craft services table. "OK this one needs to say 'I'm confused' and it's B flat, 16 bars - go!"

We also theorized that if these are actual songs on physical releases, there are so many music cues that the show might be sponsored by a PRO. "Love is Blind, presented by ASCAP"

None of these things I pointed out are really particular to Love is Blind - they're mostly old pop music tricks. e.g. the "no top end" bass sound is basically the modern version of the Motown bass sound. Except instead of James Jamerson, we have "Deafheaven on fentanyl".

losthighway wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 11:28 am ^ This is so studiously specific, I want a listenable example! (And I don't want to watch the TV show)

Out of respect for you folks, I will not do the full youtube embed here. Keep these things from ruining your YouTube experience.
sad song
upbeat song

losthighway wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 11:56 am Or what about the recently ubiquitous whistle hook? Bleh.

The whistle hook is terrible.

I'm particularly unfond of the fast strumming acoustic guitar + drum loop arrangement, especially since the guitars always have this sharp, glassy, angular sound to them, like they have been polished by a diamond drill.

That's a common way of recording vocals too, giving you this pristine, piercing, at-every-place-at-once sound. Some of that is responsible for the ASMR quality of Billie Eilish. I like a lot of stuff that sounds like that though (like this song, "Chandelier" by Sia, and so on) but always I think it would have been better if they had chilled on it.

kokorodoko wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 12:25 pm ASMR quality of Billie Eilish

I never made that connection but it's totally true. Though she certainly didn't invent the 'so compressed that the inhales and sighs are as loud as the words' vocal sound.

penningtron wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 12:32 pm

kokorodoko wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2022 12:25 pm ASMR quality of Billie Eilish

I never made that connection but it's totally true. Though she certainly didn't invent the 'so compressed that the inhales and sighs are as loud as the words' vocal sound.

If you ever listen to the Postal Service album again (or really anything Ben Gibbard has sung on) he is maybe the loudest inhaler I've ever heard on a record.