A drag queen with a completely rad voice is leading a sing-along at a bar near my house; currently, there is a medley of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" and "867-5309".

This medley is, somehow, working.

OOO! OOO! Update! "Amadeus" with "Domo Arigato, Mister Roboto"! Wtf?

It is almost midnight and they will be ending soon. I am sad. wtf?!

Last week, while stuck in traffic, I had a man in a pick up truck roll down his window and offer me some pornographic magazines.


I told him I was full, but thanks.

The other day I got a text message from a hooker named "Amyo" who thought my name was "Tex." She said she got my number from one of her "clients".

These "Tex", she is smart man, no? To give the hoorkers the numbers of others! So clever!

Salut, the "Tex!"

a customer asked me a question in the store today that confused me.....


"What was that Police Album that Sting sings on?"


I actually had to think about this i was so caught off guard.


"All of them" i replied. Good one glynnis, good one. Thats why i get payed the big bucks.

um...not today, nothing of note happened today.

but the other day, there is this japanese girl named keiko who i would see around where i work. i would see her every so often on the weekends (when i was working weekends there.) her english was not the best then but since i have been working there i noticed it has gotten much better, her being less shy and dressing better. the other day she gave me her number and invited me out for a drink. i may take her up on it. the issue is i have a girlfriend now.

does such a thought make me the devil?

p.s.-she also gave me a coffee cup that she brought in for the yard sale.

p.p.s.-i work at a church. i'm the sexton.

I got home about midnight and parked my car down the block. Just in front of where I parked is a distinctive two-story apartment building which I have often admired for its fine late-60s sensibilities.

Tonight, in the big living room windows on each floor, behind nearly identical curtains, a deep red light was flickering, in time, each window synchronized. It took me a moment to realize that both apartments were watching the same channel on tv.

I sat in my car for a minute watching the pleasing, pulsing glow. Then a wave of incredible sadness washed over me.

I sat at my desk and looked completely dumbfounded as everybody from work sent me cheesy birthday greetings/cards, etc etc etc. Then they all sent me another email to see if I had recieved their greetings/cards. I, for the first time, pined for the old record store lifestyle.

-Jeremy

Superking wrote:I got home about midnight and parked my car down the block. Just in front of where I parked is a distinctive two-story apartment building which I have often admired for its fine late-60s sensibilities.

Tonight, in the big living room windows on each floor, behind nearly identical curtains, a deep red light was flickering, in time, each window synchronized. It took me a moment to realize that both apartments were watching the same channel on tv.

I sat in my car for a minute watching the pleasing, pulsing glow. Then a wave of incredible sadness washed over me.

I don't know why...maybe because I've drank two bottles of gin tonight...but I think this may possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever read.

Thank you.

I learned that the two great tastes of orange juice and buffalo wings do not go great together.

Two things.

The First.

On the walk to work this morning (I have a long walk at both ends of the train journey) a beautiful young lady stopped me and asked if I could direct her to a certain square not far from where we stood. I didn't know where the square was, but noticed that she held a map in her hand.

"Do you have a map?" I asked.

"Yes, but I'm not very good at maps." she replied.

I was silent for a moment and considered how best to give directions to somebody who clearly traveled through space in a constant state of confusion; perhaps ricocheting between the concrete or more likely falling into the gravity of those who were aware of their position.

"I think it's probably behind Waterstones, just along and to the left." I advised, trying my best to look unimpressed by her adriftness.

The woman thanked me and proceeded to walk straight ahead for several hundred yards, leaving me the quandary of whether or not I should remind her of my instructions. I opted instead to stop for a coffee and thus was late arriving for work.

The Second.

I already mentioned elsewhere that there is a busker who I often encounter on my journey to work who's version of 'Stairway to Heaven' is genuinely the worst music that I have ever heard. Last night I encountered him for perhaps the 50th time (he was playing 'Stairway to Heaven', naturally) and for the first time I noticed that he was not only playing what is already a dreadful piece of music with a total lack of musical flare, but that he must be the only person in the entire world who plays 'Stairway to Heaven' wrong!.