One time a few years ago, I was playing golf with a couple of buddies. I suddenly got the urge to drop a couple major deuces. But the bathroom was half a mile away. I started walking to the bathroom. Then I started sprinting as I realized the deuces were chomping at the bit. Finally, as I was runni...

I did a quick search and didn't find anything. If there was already a thread like this, link me... Ok, to make a long story short, my roommate from Yonkers is supposed to be finding us an apartment in the city, but isn't doing shit. I'm driving from Chicago to New York with all my stuff next Wednesd...

Remember that dude who ate an airplane, he was tight.

There was an Arthur Mansavage in the obituaries once. I bet he lived a hell of a life.

Middle School Band Director: Dick Butz
Middle School Orchestra Director: Harry Jampole (at least I think it was Harry)


A contributor for my school's newspaper: Mary Jane Weedman (this has to be fake)

So yesterday I was in a Dick's Sporting Goods store and, as I was checking out, the cashier started up with some retarded small talk about the energy drink I was buying, so I looked up from my wallet to respond to him and I noticed his name was "Shazam." I almost lost it. I had to send a t...

2207 wrote:Where's that Phelps bloke now? Lightweight.

I wikipedia'd him yesterday, turns out he got a DUI a few years ago. Lightweight indeed.

jurgis rudkus wrote:
Those particular jets exist only for warfare, that's why we associate them with warfare. A-doy.

I'm pretty sure they don't send the Blue Angels into combat. Correct me if I'm wrong though.

This isn't an email, but I was having trouble with the fax machine the other day and about 15 minutes later I received a fax saying:

"Stop faxing to my cell phone - please."

Turns out I forgot the 1 before the area code.