Feliz cumpleaños, Cabrón! If I had lady parts, I'd film myself using them to blow out a candle in your honor, for you deserve it more than that other Steve.

I had a couple buddies from high school who were geniuses at this. Matt would sing: "There she was just a-walkin down the street, Singin duodenum-diddy diddy dum diddy doo." and "Don't know much about historectomy." Kind of turns a straight four into more of a math rocker. My fri...

Don't stand so Don't stand so Don't stand so colostomy! We also used to sing the Stones- You can't always get what you want " " But if you try sometimes, you just might find, You get what you waaant. And Weezer's song- "Oooweeooh I look just like Buddy Hackett Oh! Oh! And you're Maryl...

Brooklyn Steamer

Queef Latina

Dartos (those muscles that pucker your sac)

I must admit that I get a kick out of the idea that Shellac has become popular among the robber-baron set. I will now go home, and ensure that nobody's pinched my cherished copy, to which I listen surprisingly often.

You could go to YouTube, and search for "Matt sings Big Balls." Not saying you should, though. I am proud of it, except for the fact that, in my ardor, I botched the lyrics.

The glorious refrain at the end of "Superpussy" is truly a thing of wonder, although my hollering it out during sex has prematurely ended more than one promising relationship. Fortunately, most goats don't seem to understand english.

If I can get my shit together before work, I'm there, but I work from 1-5, so maybe I go for the early bird special.

Okay, these aren't verbs either but they're great and true. Some people I went to high school with: Richard Shaft Penny Nichols Crystal Ware Miguel Miguel Growing up, my friend Stan Cocke's mom was named Anita, and my friend Eric Johnson's dad was named Les. Also, here in Asheville, you can get your...

What game? Are we discussing 8 ball, 9 ball, or sacofricosis? I've never observed Steve playing any version, but I believe the latter is the most universally popular.