45
by the seaward_Archive
Like many awkward post-adolescents who have never felt a woman's tender embrace, I swore by the Pinkerton album when it came out. I didn't even really like the first one. I was even sort of an apologist for the Green one; it was like a dopey Cowsills record or something. I liked one song off the one after that. So at that point I would have voted them Not Crap, but overall would be pretty indifferent to them.
Their new album is without a doubt one of the worst pieces of shit I have ever heard.
Flashback to 1994. My friends and I are burning one on this guy Dave's porch. Dave let one rip and, for comedic effect, dropped trou before doing so. Out flies a turd, landing 14 feet to the pavement below. While the projectile was noteworthy for the surprise factor alone, the accompanying sound wasn't all that impressive. It still made us laugh into the night because, after all, we were high on the pot.
The new Weezer album makes Dave's fart with change sound like angels whispering Penthouse letters in your ear with Spiderland on in the background (which may not appeal to you but I was struggling for a comparison).
I do not like it very much!
So Weezer, you will now and forever reside in the annals (har har) of
CRAP