I'm all for charity, but is anyone else hoping for something to go awry during this over-hyped, silly exploding Bartman ball media circus of an event - resulting in Harry Caray's Restaurant burning to the ground?

Harry Caray's is saying the goal is to raise a million dollars for JDRF.
Hmm. Let's see...

$1,00,000
- $113,824 they paid to acquire the ball
- $400 for the ball's hotel suite last night
- $200 for the ball's Surf & Turf "last meal"
- $100 for the masseuse to rub the ball
(I'll stop here for a second and go out on a limb in saying there may be a few humans under Wacker Drive who could've used a good meal, a night and a rub-down at the Y for that much) Moving on...
- $15,000 per each full page Sun Times ad that ran for the last two weeks
- $19,000 per each full page Tribune ad that ran for the last two weeks
- $5,000 roughly for police/fire/Streets & Sani overtime expenses
- $?,??? for whatever the explosives, technicians and safety workers cost

= $462,476 (roughly, assuming they raise a million) for JDRF.

Nice one day haul, but it's not a million.

Call me a skeptic, but this whole thing seems to be less about charity and more about hoopla, Harry Caray's PR image-building campaign and most importantly, becoming the talk of the dinner party crowd to these organizers.

Okay, I'll call myself a skeptic.

From a West Coast perspective, the Bartman Ball Blow-Up seems like an incredible amalgamation of every bad Chicago cliche, all wrapped up in one "event."

Besides the Blues Brothers and the Harry Caray worship, I'm also hoping Frank Sinatra Jr. was on hand to sing "My Kind Of Town," and that David Mamet was brought in to call the ball a "goddamn cocksucking fucking motherfucker."

hahah.

very true.

maybe they should have mamet script a scene with joe mantegna and some other big time chicago/mamet guy

guy 1: "i think we should blow up the ball"

guy 2: "the ball?"

guy 1: "yeah! ---- the fucking ball!"

guy 2: "so you're saying..."

guy 1: "YES. i'm fucking saying that i want to blow up the fucking ball! thats what i'm fucking saying you fuck!"

guy 2: "i cant believe you're going to fucking blow up the ball"

and so forth...

i'm funny,
andyk


"

Angus Jung wrote:From a West Coast perspective, the Bartman Ball Blow-Up seems like an incredible amalgamation of every bad Chicago cliche, all wrapped up in one "event."

Besides the Blues Brothers and the Harry Caray worship, I'm also hoping Frank Sinatra Jr. was on hand to sing "My Kind Of Town," and that David Mamet was brought in to call the ball a "goddamn cocksucking fucking motherfucker."

This is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, the sum total of every Shi-ka-gah/sports cliche out there.

Yet I am strangely predisposed towards watching things blow up.

Even stupid things.

-"So what are you saying?"
-"I'm saying I got a guy."
-"You got a guy. You got a fucking guy. You got a guy what?"
-"I got a guy. For the ball."
-"For the fucking ball. You got a guy for the fucking ball."
-"That's right. I got a guy. He's gonna fucking take care of it."
-"My fucking ass you got a guy."
-"My guy is good. That fucking ball is...going to be fucking dealt with."
-"The fuck you say."

CURTAIN

So sorry in advance, so much I am loving this thread.

Other ideas:

-Have the epic horn section from the band "Chicago" blow up the ball by sheer lung power!

-Have all the dancers from that great musical "Chicago" do some "jazz" and "tap" on the ball, causing it to essplode!

-Bozo The Clown's son eats the ball, on a unicycle!

-Studs Terkel, wearing White Sox gear, uses a statue of Emma Goldman as a bat and hits the ball into Lake Michigan!

-Some famous Chicago bluesmen play some Chicago blues for the ball, and the ball gets so sad that it dies!

-The ball is baked into a Chicago deep dish pizza, and consumed by several people who should probably be watching their weight a little better!

-The ball was given to Scottie Pippen to finish off, but he choked on it! Michael Jordan had his back, though!

-If the ball is young enough, R. Kelly can videotape himself having sex with it! He could ball it, if you will! The ball's life will be destroyed!

-Where'd the ball go? Roger Ebert ate it! And he gave it the "thumbs up"!

-Big Black, Rapeman, Shellac, Breaking Circus, and Naked Raygun albums are played really loud simultaneously at the ball, and it immolates from sheer Chicago rock power!

I found of the clip you speak:

http://www.fanta.dk/showmovie.asp?mid=7 ... 7D16B519AE

greg and i went to high school with the second bozo's son (there were only two; we also went to h.s. with the empire carpet man's neice, rosie polenzani, who is a chicago underground folk starlet, sort of?). incredibly nice guy, and i wouldn't put it past him to eat a baseball. he really liked black metal, as i recall.

Damn! Who DIDN'T go to New Trier?!