placeholder wrote:I'd venture to say [Kiss' Animalize: Live and Uncensored video] has the best stage banter I've ever heard, courtesy of Mr. Paul Stanley. Seriously, if you see this at the video store (or for sale for cheap), do not pass it up, as it contains such gems as (this is from memory, sadly):

"Well ya know, y'all look like a crowd that likes to party! The other day, I decided to visit the doctor, because I had been partyin' just a LITTLE TOO HARD (he's pointin' "downstairs" here). My appointment's at 10:30, but I show up at 10:15, ya understand? I'm in the waitin' room, and in walks this nurse with the BIGGEST TITS I'VE EVER SEEN! (Here, he mimes what I assume are the "biggest tits he's ever seen", WTF? The drummer, I think it's Eric Carr, plays this little drumbeat, and Paul Stanley sashays back and forth across the stage before going back to the mic. Again, WTF?) And I say to her, I say 'come over here, I wanna aaaask you somethin', and when she comes over and leans down, I grab her, and (so help me, he does this thing where his back is turned and he has his arms wrapped around himself, so it looks like he's totally making out with this chick. Ridiculous.). So she says 'Looks like we need to start this exam JUST A LITTLE BIT EARLY'! She says 'Paul, take off your shirt'. (He takes off his shirt. The mostly-male crowd cheers. He is wearing these red pants with all this fringe crap coming off of them and SUSPENDERS) Now I'm wearing my Levi's button-flys, you know, the TIGHT ones? And she reaches up and undoes the first button (reaches over his head, mimes unhooking a button, and makes this popping sound), and the next one, and the next one. She checks her hand to make sure it's not too cold, then she reaches in, and (mimes what would be a firehose-sized appendage)...I said she reaches in and pulls out my..."

And the crowd yells "Love Gun" back, then rockin' and rollin' ensues. This may be the best stage patter I have ever heard, though I admit it really only works when delivered by Mr. Stanley, as mere text cannot convey how dynamic the man is.

Other gems:

"I know that the temperature's been changing a lot lately, and a lot of people are gettin' that ROCK 'N ROLL PNEUMONIA! Time to call Dr. Love!"

"Well ya know, I know why they call Wisconsin the 'Dairy State'! It's 'cause the CHICKS have BIG TITS!"

Need I say it? NOT CRAP.

Mayfair wrote:A favorite on Alive II:

"There are a lot of pretty girls out there tonight! And some of you girls wanna get KISSED! ....meet us in the LADIES ROOM!"

placeholder wrote:...but as I've said over and over, funny stage banter is one of my favorite things...

Angus Jung wrote:Why do you say things over and over?

-I'm fat

-Peter Hook

-Stage banter

This is your own form of stage banter, maybe.

hstencil wrote:best shutdown ever, from Bill Callahan (king of the anti-banter) to a dude videotaping a Smog show at Fireside:

"It's not a vacation."

Videotaper dude put his camera down after that.

"We've just come back from a tour of the states......Chelmsley Wood estate, Castle Vale estate...." - They're very working class areas of Birmingham. I dont know if you say "estate" in America (and mean the same thing), but basically it's a bunch of council houses. You probably dont know what the council is either but oh well.