Dear Coheed and Cambria,

Your singer looks kind of like King Buzzo and sings like Geddy Lee.

That Buzzo/Geddy hybrid idea made me laugh and smile for a very, very brief moment.

To:

Interpol, The Bravery, The Killers, Cooper Temple Clause, Delays, The Libertines, The Strokes and all the other boy band shit out at the moment:

You turn my girlfriend on.

Thank the Almighty her lovemaking is distraction enough from your ephemeral yet shitty presence on her bedroom stereo.

Salut!

Pearl Jam - you have an inspiring vocalist, apparently.
We've had plenty of top 20 bands to show for it.
thanks!

death cab: i respect the fact that you are, indeed, human beings





that was kind of hard

Ted Nugent, thanks for your ardent support of gun ownership, so that I may have the means to kill myself the next time I hear "Cat Scratch Fever"

Buzzcocks-You fought hard for your undeserved status!
Dead Milkmen-You guys sure had a lot of fans!

Tim Buckley: I never dreamed that anybody would name a record after a homosexual poet murdered by Spanish fascists. You scooped us all!

Members of The Eagles: Thanks for making Joe Walsh enough money to pay for really good rehab.

Kansas: You did a nice job concealing the born again Christian subtext!

Jeff Buckley--I appreciate your having given mopey girls and gender-confused boys something besides The Cure to listen to.

Janis Joplin: You're an inspiration to ugly women everywhere.

Franz Ferdinand:

You were really cool when you were Gang of Four.

Wilco: Thanks to you Nels Cline doesn't have to worry about making his house payment anymore.

Morningwood, you are a terrible band with one of the worst names I've ever heard, but your singer is incredibly attractive. I guess that counts for something. Mayhaps your record label could put together another band to make the music for your videos.