Stranglers: Why did you pussy out and become a second-rate new wave band?

Gang of Four: Why did you pussy out and become a second-rate new wave band?

Wire: Why did you pussy out and become a second-rate new wave band?

Wipers: Why did you pussy out and become a second-rate AOR band?

Doors: How did you get away with such good music and such crappy lyrics?

Siouxsie and the Banshees (pre '83): How did you get away with such good music and such crappy lyrics?

David Byrne: Why are you such a space? And what is up with your post-Heads dalliance in faux-Brazilian music?

Sonic Youth: What happened between Thousand Leaves and Nurse? Will it happen again?

Blonde Redhead (and virtually all Touch and Go bands): Why do you only tour in pussy-ass loser western European countries like Belgium, Holland, France, and Italy and not come to awesome countries like Serbia and the Czech Republic)

Shellac: You guys should practice more often.

Mazec wrote:
Doors: How did you get away with such good music and such crappy lyrics?

I'd like to redo this one.

The Doors: Why did you let anyone but Jim write lyrics? I looked at you/you looked at me/I smiled at you/You smiled at me. Fuck off you silly hippies, stick with the sex and death and snakes.

A fair point there, but I am also referring to a lot of Jim's lyrics as well. I didn't mean to imply that all Doors lyrics were crap, but Jim definitely suffered from the all-too-common obligatory rhyme fixation:

There's a killer on the road/ his brain is squirming like a toad

Dead president's corpse in the trunk of the car / the engine runs on glue and tar

The killer awoke before dawn / he put his boots on

All of these lines start out potentially interesting but get killed by a ridculous rhyme that undermines the gravity of what he's talking about in either a banal or unintentionally absurd way.

Mazec wrote:I didn't mean to imply that all Doors lyrics were crap...

Feel free to imply this, for it is true: All Doors lyrics are CRAP.

Morrison was the Jewel of his generation, and I'm not just referencing their "poetry"--just plug in "skin-tight leather pants" for "bodacious Alaskan ta-ta's," and you have the secrets of their respective successes.

u2: you are total wankers. all of your records after war are beyond crap

Bad Brains: HR, you are fucked up

Beck: what happened?

Face Eater: Ian Sucks

Dear Genius/GZA and Ghostface:

Why do you insist on NOT using RZA productions for your solo albums? You've both fallen off like a fifteener on a large cock.

I'm sure I'll have more.

David Gedge, you are far to happy and down to earth when people meet you after shows, in comparison to the lyrics you write.

Sort it the fuck out will you......God!!!

Willie Nelson, you should have hired better accountants.

shellac:

i just heard the tape from the Sex Pistols covers gig.

uh, not good. not good at all.

guitar sounds like it's made of metal or something......

BadComrade wrote:Fugazi,
Guy... why were you wearing a gold chain around your neck with your shirt open? I didn't realize "coke sniffing Miami party boy" was the look for your scene back then.

I remember seeing them around Red Medicine and thinking the same thing. Was Guy trying to be ironic by looking like a smarmy player? Everyone elso looked way ascetic though.