Angriest_Dragon wrote:Kenny: Spuds McKenzie

JB: 1000th Kenny.
JW: Potatoes.


Kennennium: The Heinz Ketchup ad where the voice over says: "what the heck does 'est'd' mean?" trying to play into your "stupid male" role, when you know damn fucking well what 'est'd' means, jesus christ.

kerble wrote:Kennennium: The Heinz Ketchup ad where the voice over says: "what the heck does 'est'd' mean?" trying to play into your "stupid male" role, when you know damn fucking well what 'est'd' means, jesus christ.

Just Better: TV Evangelism
Just Worse: Your roommate finds the Heinz ketchup ad funny, and snorts with laughter every time he sees it, to the discomfort and embarassment of everyone in the room.

Kenny Bruce: You are the same person you are now, but you are famous. Enormously famous. Eventually the fame becomes too much for you, and you decide to fake your own death. A small plane crash is staged, and your "fatal accident" immediately makes national headlines. You go into hiding, and finally, after a couple of weeks, purchase a curly wig and re-enter society incognito, only to have the first person you see on the street point to you and say, "Oh... my... God....! Pauly Shore! You totally need to give me your autograph!"

Angriest_Dragon wrote:Ken & Barbie: You're sound asleep and at 3:30 in the morning, someone starts banging on your front door. You rise, throw some clothes on, and walk to see who it is. When you open the door, there is just a cradle with a sleeping baby in it. You look around to see if you can the see the person who left it running away, They're nowhere in sight. You realize that you can't just leave a baby out on your steps so you decide to take it inside. Shortly after taking the baby in, it wakes up and looks at. It calls you daddy. IT has the voice of Chris Tucker.

Just Better: This Chris Tucker-sounding baby fits perfectly into your new Dutch oven.

Just Worse: Despite clear and repeated warnings from Chris DeBurgh, you nevertheless paid the ferryman before he got you to the other side.

The Kenny: You are Tom Poston's masseur of choice. He tips pretty well!

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:The Kenny: You are Tom Poston's masseur of choice. He tips pretty well!

Just Better: Having been Mephistophele's caddy for the last four
centuries, you're relieved when he finally gets tired of that "Ball
Washing...In Flaming Solvent!" routine.

Just Worse:Your wife gets pissed off when
you use non-sequitor epithets in reference
to her various body parts. But you're just
trying to be funny.


The Kenny: Arguing with a Mountain Man over which knife
is better, the Arkansas Toothpick or the Bowie.

Rog wrote:The Kenny: Arguing with a Mountain Man over which knife
is better, the Arkansas Toothpick or the Bowie.

JB: Arguing with Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers over which brand of tighty whiteys is better, Haines or Fruit of the Loom.

JW: Arguing with your mother about who shit the most as a baby, you or your sister.

K-E-N-N-Y: After staring at your computer monitor for almost ten minutes trying to think of a new Kenny, you suddenly realize that maybe you're not as clever as you thought you were.

Angriest_Dragon wrote:K-E-N-N-Y: After staring at your computer monitor for almost ten minutes trying to think of a new Kenny, you suddenly realize that maybe you're not as clever as you thought you were.

Just better: Tom Clancy
Just worse: Judy Blume

Kenny: You go to The Pinecone Restaurant on I-94 and
complain, loudly, to the waitress about the lack of pinecones
on the menu.

Rog wrote:Kenny: You go to The Pinecone Restaurant on I-94 and
complain, loudly, to the waitress about the lack of pinecones
on the menu.

JB: You are a waitress at the Pinecone Restaurant on I-94. After hearing a complaint about the menu while taking a customer's order, you step outside for a smoke break. You notice a pinecone embedded in the carcass of a flattened raccoon, which you place into the pocket of your Member's Only jacket, pleased that you will be able to appease the customer's complaint by serving them a pinecone omelette.

JW: It is opening night at your brother's "nouvelle cuisine" restuarant. You were able to pull some strings and have your boss's wife, a renowned food critic, join you for dinner. The first course is served. It is an herbed hair salad.

Kenny: You are Judy Kay Cohen. Your dream of becoming a country music legend is becoming a reality, though you have been forced to go by a name chosen by your manager, a thirsty man with an interest in classical mechanics.

itchy mcgoo wrote:Kenny: You are Judy Kay Cohen. Your dream of becoming a country music legend is becoming a reality, though you have been forced to go by a name chosen by your manager, a thirsty man with an interest in classical mechanics.

JB : You revive the Kenny thread
JW : You can't come up with good answers because you're too lazy to google "Judy Kay Cohen" and find out who she is.

Kizzennay:
Late-90's-era Bon Jovi

Kizzennay:
Late-90's-era Bon Jovi

Just Better - Late-70's-era Bon Scott
Just Worse - Late-00's-era Bono

Nude kenny - calling everyone you ever meet "sportsfan".

tommydski wrote:
Nude kenny - calling everyone you ever meet "sportsfan".

Just Worse: scalding all of your baby cousin Dolores' hands.

Just Better: the Christmas gift you get from your cousin Dolores ever year, an Edmonton Oilers fanny pack.



Kenny: Hitting the snooze button for the fourth time on a Monday morning.