Shout out to rysie who wrote:Nothing made up.

Serious thread.

Something cool and impressive that no one else would here would know.

Brag for someone else - especially those friends/loved ones who would never do it for themselves.

My dad has complete mastery over his toes. He can separate them in patterns such as little toe up, next toe down, middle toe up, next toe down, big toe up - then switch at will.

This skill inspires awe and reverence in small children. and me.

Dr Akaward once set himself on fire on the first song of a set, the trooper that he is, he finished the set without complaining...

ernest hemingway wrote "for whom the bell tolls"

I have twice watched my friend Ronnie Jekel ("The Doctor") knock a man unconscious with a single punch.

My ex-wife studied Tibetan thanka painting at a Buddhist university in the Himalayas of northern India.

My friend Will had a song recorded by Johnny Cash.

Two of my colleagues recently adopted Chinese orphans.

My father once killed a pheasant with his bare hands.

My grandfather was a crack shot with a rifle. He had a Winchester model 97 that he would show off with. He would stick a wooden match in a fence post, and light it by making the bullet graze the top from 50 paces. If he was feeling frisky, he'd do it with four or five in consecutive shots.

My brother had a 500cc single motorcycle that he bored and stroked to 700cc. He used it to climb hills competitively. He took his knobby tires to the garage one winter, drilled a bunch of holes in the treads and installed long tire studs so he could ride it on sheer ice. He would throw gigantic rooster-tails of ice and snow as he tore ass around our neck of the woods.

While still in high school, my sister learned French, Spanish, Greek, German, Portugese and Russian. She does not use them conversationally, that I know of, it was just an interest of hers.

My father, while in high school, beat the then-extant world record for the standing long jump, which was removed from Olympic and collegiate competition the same year. He was the best in the world at something nobody cared about any more. He was a motorcycle racer, and set several California records, notably in the Flying Mile, which stood for decades. He also threw a paper airplane across the Rose Bowl. He also appears in the Norman MacLean book Young Men and Fire, as he was a forest fire research scientist for much of his professional life. He also designed parts of the Titan IIIc missile. Did I mention that my dad was a badass?

That's just my family. I have friends whose stories would curl your hair. Like Ted, brother of Tad, who smuggled microchips into China in his ass, and smuggled hashish out of Tibet in his ass. Inter-continental ass smuggling.

And the guy who bedded several mother/daughter teams. Same guy shit his pants on national TV.

As a little girl, my girlfriend drew a picture of Rich Koz, and it was shown on the Son of Svengoolie monster movie show, which will be familiar to any Chicagoans of a certain age.

Top that!

My Great-Great Grandfather fought at the battle of Ondurman, alongside Winston Churchill, against the Fuzzy Wuzzies.

My Grandfather rode the Isle of Mann TT, on two occasions. The second time he took all the skin off both his hands when he hit a dry-stone wall. He also poured water down Oswald Mosely's chimney.

My Great Uncle Jack was a conscientious objector in the Second World War and refused to fight. He served as a stretcher-bearer in North Africa, Sicily and at Monte Casino, often coming under enemy fire. After the war he became a card-carrying communist.

My mum was Miss Teen Derry, twice.

My dad first met my mum in the late-sixties in Derry. He was working for Special Branch. During his intelligence briefings he'd watch films from secret cameras that recorded the movements of IRA suspects. One of these cameras was hidden in a brick wall at the end of my mum's street and he'd see my mum go past everyday, on her way to the bookmakers where she worked. So he decided to arrange for a foot patrol to stop her and ask her her name and address--which was possible then, due to the powers of internment. The next day he went round her house to ask her out.

my father was scouted by the Pittsburgh Pirates and the New York yankees. Upon an inspection by the Pirates team doctor he found out he has a genetic defect whereby part of his shoulder socket is missing. He was then told he could have a surgery which would give him an equal chance at pitching or not being able to pick up a hairbrush.

also, while serving his time as a reservist for the marines he and a friend purchased wigs, had these wigs barbered to military standards, and wore them during their "one weekend a month"

a friend of mine is fluent in English, Spanish, Swahili, some Mayan dialect that is still spoken somewhere, and according to tests given by the federal government "exhibits a proficiency in Arabic consistent with a college-educated native speaker"

this same friend, while in college, also had sex with five young women in separate dalliances over the course of one evening

in keeping with the family theme...

my sister was an all-stage volleyball player. she's also a very talented artist but doesn't keep up with it. she can be funny once in a while.

my mom not only taught in a newark, nj public school for twenty years (a tenure which concluded with her lending her full support to the republican party due to the fact that large chunks of her paychecks were going to "help" people who, as she witnessed for many years, had no intention of utilizing it to better their lives)... she also went to woodstock and "got really fucked up." she said her favorite part was richie havens.

my father and i don't talk much, let alone about his youth, but i know that when he was a kid his camp counselor was hall-of-fame football player chuck bednarik. also in college, he was a fraternity brother of nba commish david stern. they played in the same poker game.

my grandfather on my mom's side was a well-respected choropodist, i guess well known enough that my mom was granted acceptance into a bunch of medical schools at the age of 16, no college education required. times, they were different. i never met him, he died when mom was 13.

my other grandfather used to own a chain of stores in the east called "great eastern mills," which were a pretty big deal, i think. during the great depression he used to give away a ton of coal (i mean that literally, not as a synonym for "lots") every week in a raffle for families who couldn't afford to heat their homes. the guy who started "bed bath and beyond" or "linens and things" originally worked for him. i never met him either. his last words were, "how many square feet?" all he could talk about, even on his death bed, was business. i heard he was a real prick and hated women.

never knew anyone else.

my friend is one of the top "magic: the gathering" players, and was actually at the top of the world rankings for several months. not that cool, come to think of it.

my dad's childhood babysitter was janis joplin. pretty funny, but not necessarily cool.