Funniest thing you heard today

24
Gramsci wrote:Thatcher is in hospital... that cheered me up.

Does that make me a bad person?


Depends, were you the one that put her there?
My pretty pony! Why, Zorak, why? You could have had any woman you wanted! But you chose the woman I love almost as much as I love myself! You ruined my life, you ruined her life, and now, I'm going to ruin your life!!!

Funniest thing you heard today

26
a few things

firstly I was discussing a friends one-off erectile problem
Him "Damn. I totally wanted to just fucking completely lay the sex in her so bad"
Me "you should have said that to her, that wouldv've been amazing"
Him "NOT WITHOUT A HARD ON IT WOULDN'T"

apres gig discussion with band mate
Drummer (Elvis) is smiling wildly, I sense he enjoyed the gig
Me "that wasn't bad! we rule (etc etc)"
Him "I've just eaten an ounce of weed"

at All Tomorrows Parties fest, fairly well oiled, singing '1999' by Prince in a group.
all of us "I WAS DREAMING WHEN I WROTE THIS..." etc
all of us "shit...whats the second line?"
- much confusion -
Ian from Weird War passes, my friend Matt (the drunkest of us all) stops him:
Matt "Ian, whats the second line to '1999'"
Ian "1999?"
Matt "Yeah! By Prince! The song!"
Ian "Prince?"
Matt (looks at us all incredulously) "PRINCE! THE SIN-GER? Jesus, don't try and convince me you've never heard of PRINCE you bullshitter!"

or words to that effect
Rick Reuben wrote:We're all sensitive people
With so much love to give, understand me sugar
Since we got to be... Lets say, I love you

Funniest thing you heard today

27
Gramsci wrote:
Bartok wrote:
Gramsci wrote:Thatcher is in hospital... that cheered me up.

Does that make me a bad person?


Depends, were you the one that put her there?


Not consciously.


meh, its still funny. To make it peak you should go throw grapes at her by feigning an illness in the next bed.
My pretty pony! Why, Zorak, why? You could have had any woman you wanted! But you chose the woman I love almost as much as I love myself! You ruined my life, you ruined her life, and now, I'm going to ruin your life!!!

Funniest thing you heard today

28
Hey, I'm going to be a jerk! I said something funny! It was inspired by something I read about Yngwie Malmsteen on this forum!

My rock band was playing a show a week ago, and before our last slow, wussy song in a set of them, I thanked the folks for listening and said "We're going to unleash the fucking fury." When I played the first chord, my amp was too loud, so I turned down. Then I said, get this: "Sorry. The fury was too loud."

This was the funniest thing I've ever said in my life. Thank you.
Last edited by placeholder_Archive on Thu Dec 08, 2005 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
matthew wrote:His Life and his Death gives us LIFE.......supernatural life- which is His own life because he is God and Man. This is all straight Catholicism....no nuttiness or mystical crap here.

Funniest thing you heard today

29
placeholder wrote:Hey, I'm going to be a jerk! I said something funny! It was inspired by something I read about Yngwie Malmsteen on this forum!

My rock band was playing a show a week ago, and before our last slow, wussy song in a set of them, I thanked the folks for listening and said "We're going to unleash the fucking fury." When I played the first chord, my amp was too loud, so I turned down. Then I said, get this: "Sorry. The fury was too loud."

This was the funniest thing I've ever said i my life. Thank you.



I'd like to re-affirm for you that this was indeed funny!
The cat with the toast, once it's free in the air, will float at its cat-toast equilibrium point, where butter repulsion forces and cat forces are in balance.

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