Funniest thing you heard today

44
Sometime in the last 2 weeks the missus (er indoors) were having a discussion about a work colleague of hers, this work colleague has a daughter at the same nursery as our little girl......
We didn't not know that our sweet little angel had overheard our conversation when the missus stated that her work colleague was 'a lazy bitch'........can you guess what happens next next?

We are now looking for a new daytime nursery......and bodyguards.

The lesson - Don't have kids....if you do, make them wear earplugs.

Funniest thing you heard today

45
scott wrote:Just got this in an email:

"ARE YOU DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS OF THIS
(AMP)HEAD AND CAB."

The seller of this head and cab was not being ironic.


Whats funny about that? Thats a perfectly good question...(!)

My friend Elvis declared to me that he was "sicker than a small hospital" last week, though he did mean actually ill not "like, sick, duuude".
Rick Reuben wrote:We're all sensitive people
With so much love to give, understand me sugar
Since we got to be... Lets say, I love you

Funniest thing you heard today

46
chrissummerlin wrote:
scott wrote:Just got this in an email:

"ARE YOU DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS OF THIS
(AMP)HEAD AND CAB."

The seller of this head and cab was not being ironic.


Whats funny about that? Thats a perfectly good question...(!)

My friend Elvis declared to me that he was "sicker than a small hospital" last week, though he did mean actually ill not "like, sick, duuude".


i once played a show with a band who had all fallen quite ill over the course of the tour they were on. at one point during this show, the singer proclaimed that "this has been the sickest tour ever. and not in that cool, ironic, skateboarder kind of way. i mean, like, bile and vomit and diarrhea."
if i got lasik surgery on one eye, i could wear a monacle.

Funniest thing you heard today

48
I had been looking for an accurate desciption for my new boss. The old one left a few months ago. I had worked for him for 8 years. Needless to say he was cool as bosses go and anyone they brought in would generally piss me off anyway so....I've been trying to be nice until I can genuinely give the guy enough time to sink or swim. Anyway, I'm walking to work, listening to my ipod on shuffle and that Jesus Lizard song comes on and it totally hits me "Yeah yeah yeah he's a nice guy, I like him just fine...but he's a mouthbreather." And you have to say it as Yow does in the third verse...kinda angry, spitting I would imagine. Everytime I see my fat hairball boss I crack up. He probably thinks I'm stoned since I'm always laughing at him.

Funniest thing you heard today

50
got this in an email from fellow electrical audio comrade gjhardwick an hour ago - god knows why he hasn't posted it here so i'm going to do it for him. his manager at works says to him:

'Eskimos aren't homosapiens - they come from a different genre to the
rest of the us. Aborigines are the same.'
Rick Reuben wrote:
daniel robert chapman wrote:I think he's gone to bed, Rick.
He went to bed about a decade ago, or whenever he sold his soul to the bankers and the elites.


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