You know you've thought of headlines for The Onion, whether or not you thought of a story. Let's see 'em! I'll start off:
People on the River Not Really Happy to Give
"That Fogerty is a goddamn liar," say locals
HBO Finally Learns How to Suck Its Own Dick
Please: Just Call Me "Bocepus Jr."
by Hank Williams III
Cancer Association Tired of Giving "Athlete of the Year" Award to Lance Armstrong
Your own Onion headlines
2Ozzy To Bite Heads Off Gummy Bears At Concert
R. Kelly Goes On Urine Strike For Cancer
"I won't pee on underage girls until a cure is found"
R. Kelly Goes On Urine Strike For Cancer
"I won't pee on underage girls until a cure is found"
Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Shin guards for all!
Your own Onion headlines
3"Local Jehovah Witness just not a people person"
Going door to door annoying people first thing saturday morning with our spiel is not what i call a walk in the park
"At home prostitutes now offer free high speed internet connection to customers"
With today's hectic schedules and the need to keep in touch, it just seemed a natural fit.
Going door to door annoying people first thing saturday morning with our spiel is not what i call a walk in the park
"At home prostitutes now offer free high speed internet connection to customers"
With today's hectic schedules and the need to keep in touch, it just seemed a natural fit.
ChoCko is back in town!
Your own Onion headlines
4"Penis Enlargement Email is Just a Hoax, says Small-dicked Local Man"
Last edited by Mayfair_Archive on Fri Jan 20, 2006 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Your own Onion headlines
6Boston Man Sues Megadeth For Melting/Slaying His Face Off
New Osama Tape Revealed To Be Jerky Boys
New Osama Tape Revealed To Be Jerky Boys
Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Shin guards for all!
Your own Onion headlines
8Tree wrote:Please: Just Call Me "Bocepus Jr."
by Hank Williams III
It's "Tri-Cephus."
Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC
Your own Onion headlines
10Area Chemist Takes Issue With Neil Young
Rust does sleep according to Lyle Harding, resident chemist with DePaul University. He explains that part of the process of oxidation requires periods of dormancy.
Rust does sleep according to Lyle Harding, resident chemist with DePaul University. He explains that part of the process of oxidation requires periods of dormancy.