Area Twenty-Something Realizes Haircut Is On Backwards

Left-Handed Bassist Tired Of Complaining About Instrument Unavailability, Decides Instead To Pursue Longtime Dream Of Being Top-Notch Barista

Stoners Stoked At News That Volkswagen To Finally Reissue "The Thing"

Elderly Demographic Refuses to Die
Buoyed by a steady tide of converts, experts say seniors aren't going away.

Allegations of "Dealt" Plague Co-Worker Who "Smelt It"

Annual Monster Truck Rally Continues to Disappoint
"All the cars are already crushed and there's no one inside them," say locals.

Top Bush Aide: Slavery Reinstatement "Works For America"

Latinos, Asians To Join Blacks As Indentured Servants, Reflecting Administration's Commitment To Diversity

Rove asks assembled press, "Don't you treat a car you own better than one you rent?"

Second Amendment-Style "Right to Bear Arms" Popular in Newly Democratic Iraq

With freedom and democracy everywhere in bloom, local militias have enthusiastically adopted the spirit of America's Constitutional Second Amendment. "We believe a well regulated militia is absolutely necessary to ensure a free State," said militant spokesperson, Hikfat Shakir Ahmad.

i like mom

Area Man Who Reads Onion Headlines to Friends Getting Sort of Annoying

Recent Studies Show That Chocolate is Impenetrable by Hurricanes





(i got this one, please make that video go away)

Country Star Suffers Sophomore Slump with "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Set Fire"

Above: A scene from Joe Nichols' video for "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Catch Fire", the less successful follow-up single to his smash country hit, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Come Off"