The Comedy of Craigslist

41
Angus Jung wrote:This is a pretty good zing!

Considering it came from a lonely, closeted Midwest elementary school art teacher from the '50s.




(Ben Adrian rules face)



Man, you show up and get reverse-heckeled in ONE stand up comedy movie and suddenly everyone forgets you're an awesome musician.

Cheers!

Bunny Adrian

The Comedy of Craigslist

42
Angus Jung wrote:http://www.craigslist.org/eby/msg/126716969.html


"Wild Women Of Prague"

I'll bet this video alone is worth at least a Fender 50th Anniversary American Deluxe Stratocaster. I mean, think of connections: Solid body, gold hardware, noiseless pickups, and hot, easy action. They are essentially the same. Oh, also the 50th anniversary logo engraved in the neck. Wait, that's probably not all the women in Prague, just the ones I met.



http://chicago.craigslist.org/about/bes ... 74639.html

The asscrack had to be Sean of Sybris. Had to be.
Ryan Kevin Rezvani (:u)~
Go You Sox

The Comedy of Craigslist

44
hot tub group release (berkeley)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-116894823@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-12-08, 10:51PM PST


Let's keep this simple. I have a hot tub on Euclid. I am having a group release party on December 28th. Everybody is welcome (last time was all men which was fun but I would really like to get some women this time). Here's how it works:
Five people get into my 400 gallon redwood hot tub. The temperature is a challenging 125 degrees. After a few minutes, everybody "evacuates." (voids their bowels in the tub). We see what "floats to the surface." This "letting go" stage is followed by a "coming together" stage in which each person helps the person to their left reach satisfaction (handsex). Simple and wonderful.

Some ground rules:
1)No footwear of any kind in the tub! Leave your flip flops on the deck!
2)Do not go into the house.
3)Scents are okay but please, NO GREASY HAIR PRODUCTS.
4)Please refrain from smoking.
5)Once everybody is in the tub, its silent time. No talking until everybody is out.
6)If you do not like what is "going down" (or coming up) step out of the tub. You do not need to make it everybody elses problem.
7)Please commit before showing up. Don't come out to the backyard, check out the "scene" and then decide to leave. This disrupts the experience for everybody.
8)Please no laughing or frivolity. Its not that it has to be "dead serious" but we don't want it to turn into a joke. For many people a group release party is a vulnerable psychosexual experience and your laughter can be shaming.
9)PLEASE NO LOUD TALKING AFTER THE SESSION. MY NEIGHBORS HAVE COMPLAINED SEVERAL TIMES AND HAVE THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE.
10) If you are over two hundred pounds it is fine, but please let me know in advance.
11)PLEASE NO DIABETICS, PREGNANT WOMEN OR PEOPLE WITH HEALTH CONDITIONS WHICH MAY BE AFFECTED BY A LONG AND UNUSUALLY HIGH TEMPERATURE HOT TUB SITUATION.
12)NO DRUGS OF ANY KIND!!!!
13)Please make sure that you have eaten well and NOT EXCRETED FOR AT LEAST TWELVE HOURS before coming.
14)No food in the hot tub or on the deck. If you must eat, finish your food in your car.
15)You can park directly out front or along the street. PLEASE DO NOT PARK IN THE DRIVEWAY. If parking is limited park on POPLAR st.
16)Do not turn on the airration jets under any circumstances. This makes the party impossible to clean up afterwards and also disrupts the atmosphere in the tub.
17)Please show up on time for the session. The orientation period is extremely important and helps to insure that the party will be a success for all participants.
18)NO CAMERAS OF ANY KIND INCLUDING CAMERA PHONES. For many, the session is a "discreet" experience and respect for individual privacy concerns is of utmost importance.
19)If you have a health concern which you believe may be transmittable through personal waste material please wait for at least two weeks after the matter has cleared up before attending a session.
20)You are welcome to bring a friend PROVIDED I KNOW IN ADVANCE. Please do not show up with an extra participant.
Thank you for your interest and contact me if you wish to participate.

8)Please no laughing or frivolity. Its not that it has to be "dead serious" but we don't want it to turn into a joke. For many people a group release party is a vulnerable psychosexual experience and your laughter can be shaming.

...unlike taking a collective dump in in a hot tub with complete strangers. I'd have an aneurysm from trying to stifle myself.
murderedman wrote:Your problem is your bloc attitude.

The Comedy of Craigslist

45
H-GM, this post is incredible. Salut.

H-GM wrote:Please refrain from smoking.

Boy, you can't smoke anywhere these days. Not even in a backyard shit-in-a-hot-tub-and-wank-a-strangerfest. A guy has to have standards, right?

I imagine that this particular smoking restriction meets with the resounding approval of the anti-smoking contingent of this forum, all of whom I now envision sitting in a hot tub that bubbles with their floaters as they provide manual pleasure to one another.

Sometimes it's a true pity that I lack PhotoShop skills.

The Comedy of Craigslist

48
insane hot tub owner wrote:9)PLEASE NO LOUD TALKING AFTER THE SESSION. MY NEIGHBORS HAVE COMPLAINED SEVERAL TIMES AND HAVE THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE.


insane hot tub owner guest: JERK ME WITH YOUR CREAMY FECES, YOU FUCKING ANIMAL...

insane hot tub owner: shhhhhhhhhh!

neighbor (offstage): HEY, YOU FUCKING FREAK! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE INAUGURATING ANOTHER HOT TUB OVER THERE! THIS TIME, I'M CALLING THE POLICE!

insane hot tub owner: Oh, I'm so sorry! I promise this is the last one. Really! I've changed!

neighbor: I can't say no to you, group hot tub shitter.

(exeunt)

The Comedy of Craigslist

49
No greasy hair products? Wtf? You're sitting in a pool with 5 men curling one off and then waxing the proverbial hippo with each other but your hair must be grease-free? I guess you have to have standards.

Also. I can vaguely kind of sort of understand why people might like to shit on each other. It's not my thing but I can accept that it gets some people off. But just shitting in a pool together to see which ones float to the top? And to find several people that are into the same thing?


This craigslist thing is foreign to me but is this some sort of weird satire?
simmo wrote:Someone make my carrot and grapefruits smoke. Please.

The Comedy of Craigslist

50
Rotten Tanx wrote:This craigslist thing is foreign to me but is this some sort of weird satire?


Shoosh.

This craigslist, which is also foreign to me, is a thing of beauty.

Does this make anyone melancholy? It makes me melancholy:

Where to take my son?

Gonna have my son this weekend but I cant think of where would be a fun place to take him (hes 3). Anyone know of any fun places a Dad can take his boy to (fairs, play places, etc.)? Thanks!


The melancholy of the craiglist.

Shoosh.

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