bomberz1qr20 wrote:John Cougar's balding south paw drummer who later went on to an ill fitting gig with Smashing Pumpkins.

JB:Smashing Pumpkins Getting pawed by cougars.
JW: Corgan's "retarded superhero" look.

Tae Ken Do:
Cable TV ads that tell you "Full Screen" means you get more of the picture.

kenny: attempting to related to yr non-plussed spouse the various "hilarious" going-ons of the electrical audio message board. her response: "do you do anything at that job?"

j.b. attempting to be funny by reading headlines from the onion out loud. it's just not the same.

j.w. attempting to relate to spouse the intricacies of the internet poker game you are playing when you should be making dinner.

there is one kenny to be done, already. but here is another.

ankle socks

kerble wrote:Cable TV ads that tell you "Full Screen" means you get more of the picture.

JB: Being mugged for a few bucks by a retard in a wheelchair who possesses no weapon
JW: Finding out that your sickly, wealthy grandmother has just donated an enormous sum of money to a televangelist

tmidgett wrote:ankle socks

Just Better: Quietly exiting the tent in the middle of the night to use the campground Port-O-Let while wearing only your ankle socks
Just Worse: Having a leg rash of indeterminate origin that starts just above the ringlet of your ankle socks, but you can only remember having worn the ankle socks inside your house or apartment

stackmatic wrote:A rousing heartfelt round of "Happy Birthday" as sung to you by the staff of T.G.I.Friday's

I was invited today to join a small group of co-workers for a lunchtime birthday celebration.

We went to Joe's Crab Shack, which should be your first hint.

(Incidentally, one of the Joe's Crab Shack souvenir t-shirts, of which there are seemingly around 800,000 versions, features the quote "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" from "Scarface" on the front. As stupid and misplaced as this reference might be, the shirt then features a "Joes Crabshack" logo in the stylized manner of "The Godfather" puppetmaster design on the back of the shirt. This should be your second hint.)

At the conclusion of lunch, one of the waitstaff, who had been surreptitiously tipped off to the fact of my co-worker's birthday by another one of my more fox-like co-workers, arrived at our table with a cowboy hat and a stick horse. Thereafter, my co-worker, who is in fact a very sweet person, rode the stick horse around the restaurant as the assembled lunchtime crowd wished her a happy birthday.

"Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday, Dear Cowgirl
Happy Birthday to You"

Kunta Kente: Talking to your friend more after you've moved thousands of miles away from him than you did when you lived about, oh, a mile away from him

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Kunta Kente: Talking to your friend more after you've moved thousands of miles away from him than you did when you lived about, oh, a mile away from him

JB: Calling into Art Bell at 330am, and talking to him about shadow people.

JW: Talking to your neighbor's dog about what a bad owner they have.



Schlitz Ken:

Dirty, stinking "hippies" who pull out an American Express Platinum Card to pay for a Dylan bootleg.

gcbv wrote:Dirty, stinking "hippies" who pull out an American Express Platinum Card to pay for a Dylan bootleg.

jb - BMW drivers who steal from charity shops (yeah - I witnessed that)

jw - Parents who dress their toddlers in Armani and Paul Smith


Ken doll with realistic genitalia:

Going to rent a film for the evening and coming away empty handed

bobbydj wrote:

Ken doll with realistic genitalia:

Going to rent a film for the evening and coming away empty handed

just better: accidently giving a stranger the middle finger
just worse: free breadsticks


kenny:"do you have any idea who you are talking to?"

kenny:"do you have any idea who you are talking to?"

j.b. you get pulled over for speeding. when the cop asks for your i.d., you hand him a $50 and tell him your name is ulysses s. grant.

j.w. record producers who introduce themselves by tagging on the names of artists they have 'worked with'

kenny!

the phrase 'gabba gabba hey'

the phrase 'gabba gabba hey'

JB : "man, that guy's guitar is talkin... and so are my shoes!"
JW : lenny kravitz

new kensington:

people who don't recycle

toomanyhelicopters wrote:new kensington:

people who don't recycle

just better = cigar smokers in public places
just worse = leaf blowers and the people who use them


Please, kenny:

- the waning popularity of Bacon Bits

toomanyhelicopters wrote:

Please, kenny:

- the waning popularity of Bacon Bits

jb: Wayne Newton
jw: west covina


kenny, please:

PIGS IN SPACE