- the waning popularity of Bacon Bits

jb: the waning popularity of kevin bacon
jw: dreadlocked women searching for their inner ani di franco

please kenny-

the intense owl-like stare of larry king

the intense owl-like stare of larry king

j.b. the half-looped meanderings of charlie rose

j.w. morton downey jr. (r.i.p.)

ken? ee?

whichever hand you don't write with, you lose the thumb from that hand at work. wasn't your fault. bad equipment of some sort. the insurance settlement regarding this unfortunate incident is $1,500,000 after taxes and shit, so you can clear a safe $75000/yr more or less indefinitely w/o touching the principal.

tmidgett wrote:whichever hand you don't write with, you lose the thumb from that hand at work. wasn't your fault. bad equipment of some sort. the insurance settlement regarding this unfortunate incident is $1,500,000 after taxes and shit, so you can clear a safe $75000/yr more or less indefinitely w/o touching the principal.

Just Better: Crapping your white pants on a first date with a young Asian beauty, as happened to my friend Rod, who, truth be told, really shouldn't have been wearing white pants or dating that bitch in the first place.
Just Worse: Said thumb injury occurs on your last scheduled day as a Roto-Rooter employee, and the excised digit, which could have been saved and reattached without loss of function, instead falls into and sinks to the bottom of a pit of human waste.

Kenny Klee: The horrible, gnawing feeling that hits you when you ask a washed up minor league hockey player why he passed on several college hockey scholarships and instead went to junior hockey, and he matter-of-factly states that it was because had a severe learning disability.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Kenny Klee: The horrible, gnawing feeling that hits you when you ask a washed up minor league hockey player why he passed on several college hockey scholarships and instead went to junior hockey, and he matter-of-factly states that it was because had a severe learning disability.

JB: Saying, "what are you, retarded?" to someone, only to later learn that they are indeed mentally disabled.
JW: Accidentally walking into a special education classroom, and announcing "Hey, looks like I took the short bus straight to RETARDO-VILLE!"



Jack Kempy:

Confederate Flags

Kenny Klee: The horrible, gnawing feeling that hits you when you ask a washed up minor league hockey player why he passed on several college hockey scholarships and instead went to junior hockey, and he matter-of-factly states that it was because had a severe learning disability.



JB: Saying, "what are you, retarded?" to someone, only to later learn that they are indeed mentally disabled.
JW: Accidentally walking into a special education classroom, and announcing "Hey, looks like I took the short bus straight to RETARDO-VILLE!"

i was playing poker w/a bunch of teachers the other day

and they were talking about their largest gaffes in this area

one guy had two good ones:

1) the guy is teaching his computer class. one girl is typing with her baggy sweatshirt down past her wrists. it's so baggy that she can't even use her right thumb. he says 'carlene, for god's sake, use both of your thumbs. that's why god gave us two of them.' pause as she stops typing and the guy realizes she only has the nine fingers.

2) girl comes limping into his class. 'what happened to you, jenny?' 'oh nothing.' 'nothing? you can barely walk!' 'oh, that just happens sometimes if i've been running around a lot.' 'running? are you in track.' 'no, i have cerebral palsy.'

gcbv wrote:Confederate Flags

just better = the Confederate Flag painted atop an orange 1969 Dodge Charger
just worse = if Def Leppard hailed from the deep South and had opted for the Confederate Flag version of this:


kenny:

- a kingfisher sighting

stackmatic wrote:kenny:
- a kingfisher sighting

JB: In the film "Searching for Bobby Fischer", and the kid is playing chess is in the park and some feeb makes the passing comment:
"Young Fischer".
JW: Later on in the same film, when the whiz kid is losing at chess to some other tyke and the same fucking feeb makes the passing comment:
"Young Fischer".

Kendall Rey Jones:
An SUV I saw this weekend with both a sticker of Che Guevara on the back window and a bumper sticker that says "God Bless America"


Faiz

kerble wrote:Kendall Rey Jones:
An SUV I saw this weekend with both a sticker of Che Guevara on the back window and a bumper sticker that says "God Bless America"

JB: Voter Registration at a Lollapalooza concert.
JW: Rage Against the Machine



KENTLE GIANT:

Being the first person to realize a given animal has Rabies.

gcbv wrote:

KENTLE GIANT:

Being the first person to realize a given animal has Rabies.

just better: not ordering something at a fancy resturant cause you know that even tho it doesn't say anywhere on the menu, you know that said something is just going be covered w/ cilantro and being right.

just worse: being the last person to find out the office slut has crabs


kenny: cube wars: dueling stereos, Bob Seger vs Techno

kenny: cube wars: dueling stereos, Bob Seger vs Techno

JB : cube wars ; contests to see who can solve a rubik's cube the fastest

JW : pube wars, with dueling banjos as the soundtrack...


kizenny : rushing like mad to get to work early, because you remember you have a very important meeting today, but don't remember what time it starts... getting in before 10am, only to find out the meeting isn't until 1pm. so you woulda had time to take a shower after all.