kerble wrote:Kenny kick it? Yes he Ken!:
Sitting next to a car where the dude is thumping the music and you look over and they're wearing a hearing aid.

jb: sitting next to a car where some jackass is blaring inane rap-metal and drowning him out with six finger satellite

jw: having to wear a hearing aid


the kenny: "blowing your o-ring" as a euphemism for a particular bodily function

OR

tmidgett's previous kenny:

winning many thousands of dollars in play money in a single hand of internet poker, and then losing many thousands of dollars in play money in a single hand of internet poker. remember, this is play money. and it's on the internet

placeholder wrote:the kenny: "blowing your o-ring" as a euphemism for a particular bodily function

JB: "Drinking Cogna" (Cognac without the second "c" sounds so nasty)
JW: "Dropping the Cosby Kids off at the Pool" as a euphemism for a particular body function.


Kennybal Corpse:
Hearing someone say: "What goes around comes around because you reap what you sow and that's just the name of the game" in total earnestness.

Faiz

Hearing someone say: "What goes around comes around because you reap what you sow and that's just the name of the game" in total earnestness.

JB: Pierced guy who just served you a coffee subtly trying to draw your attention to the jar on the counter with a piece of paper reading "tipping is good karma!" stuck to it.
JW: Ass cancer.

Ken Anderson ex-quarterback Bengals of Cincinnati:

Having to take the step of drawing a line in the middle of the refrigerator to separate your food and your roommate's food

The Kenny: Having to take the step of drawing a line in the middle of the refrigerator to separate your food and your roommate's food

JB: Knowing you've "dirty sanchez-ed" several pieces of yr roommate's raw meat and cheese while he was out.

JW: Not knowing that yr roommate did the same to yr food while YOU were out.

One Notch Worse (extra credit): Yr roommate is recovering from a toilet-clogging bout of stomach flu.

Obi-Wan Kenobi this, you will:

Aggressive panhandlers.

tmidgett wrote:
kenny:

winning many thousands of dollars in play money in a single hand of internet poker, and then losing many thousands of dollars in play money in a single hand of internet poker. remember, this is play money. and it's on the internet.

just better: reducing a family member to tears while playing Monopoly

just worse: writing down,memorizing and rehearsing a series of witty remarks to make in the unlikely event a Victoria's Secret catalog model makes a pass at you in bar.

kenny: having to constantly use spellcheck to remember how to spell "member"

the Classical wrote:kenny: having to constantly use spellcheck to remember how to spell "member"

JB: having to spell check "infundibuliform."
JW: having to spell check your own last name


kenny-san:

Realizing that the little Japanese grocery store is full of anglosaxon shoppers ONLY.

the Classical wrote: kenny: having to constantly use spellcheck to remember how to spell "member"

jb: having a cousin - a good guy really, but a total academic as a kid - who copped his nickname "Meber" from his failure to recall the second "M" in all grammatical permutations of the word "member"

jw: totally rocking the "Member's Only" brand of men's light seasonal jackets with a complete lack of self-awareness regarding how exceptionally un-ironic it is in the world of novel kitsch fashion.


Kennebunkport, ME the following scenario (not personal):

Putting out whatever sum total of effort is necessary to be in a band, cranking full-steam for years, and then stopping and not even touching an instrument for 18 months.

Chris G wrote:Obi-Wan Kenobi this, you will:
Aggressive panhandlers.

JB: Agressive Breakdancers.
JW: Getting mugged for two dimes, five pennies and a lighter.

gcbv wrote:kenny-san:
Realizing that the little Japanese grocery store is full of anglosaxon shoppers ONLY.

JB: Finding a restaurant where the majority of the people that eat there are of the restaurant's particular ethnicity. Mmmmmm Chomp!
JW: Taking an Italian born Grandfather to the Olive Garden (the Q101 of Italian Food) on his first visit to America. Fuck you, Gramps.

Evel Keneivel:
Having to go to a head shop to buy a pipe.

Evel Keneivel:
Having to go to a head shop to buy a pipe.

j.b. purchasing questionable prophylactics at your local
gas station for 50 cents apiece in the lurid restroom

j.w. unintentionally befriending a head shop employee


kenny: getting off the couch to get something, only to forget what
you were going to get, but ending up remembering something else
that you needed to get and getting that, but going back to the couch
to try to remember what you were initially going to get

brian wrote:kenny: getting off the couch to get something, only to forget what you were going to get, but ending up remembering something else that you needed to get and getting that, but going back to the couch
to try to remember what you were initially going to get

just better = you wake up in an awkward position and can't get out of bed because both of your arms have fallen asleep, but it's the weekend and you don't have to be anyplace anytime soon

just worse = trying to remove the ice cubes from an under-filled ice cube tray


Please, kenny:

- John Cougar Mellencamp's thought process as he penned the line "Suckin' on chili dogs outside the Tastee Freeze", reread it, and then decided to keep it as part of the lyrics to his little ditty about Jack and Diane