geiginni wrote: But I think I need help too. Some sort of help. That's tough to ask for.

Sounds like you've been struggling offensively. Maybe this is a rebuilding year.

No, I kid (see sports cliches thread). If I might, I think it can be particularly hard for men to seek help with depression, etc. If you're not going to make friends, maybe find a therapist. Seriously. I think it's pretty damn difficult -- maybe impossible -- to make the kind of changes you speak of, without an outside reference.

I wish you and your wife all the best geiginni.

Everything's about perspective, and I think that in the grand scheme of things I usually cry about stupid, petty stuff.

this morning when i was told my dads terminal cancer will take him away from me in a matter of a few days.....

sonikBOOM wrote:this morning when i was told my dads terminal cancer will take him away from me in a matter of a few days.....

sonikBOOM, I know exactly how you must feel. You are going to cry alot.

Just, man...

Be good. Be good, man.Ah fuck.

Warmest regards,

Lou.

sonikBOOM wrote:this morning when i was told my dads terminal cancer will take him away from me in a matter of a few days.....

I am so very, very sorry to hear that sonikBOOM.

sonikBOOM wrote:this morning when i was told my dads terminal cancer will take him away from me in a matter of a few days.....

I'm very sorry, man.

Some of my friends' parents have died recently and it can be difficult to deal with. Many of them are still in their early twenties and it kind of scares me....

I hope your friends and family support you. Try not to get too down.

This may sound a little stupid, but music can help a lot (for some people) in these situations.

Regards,

Roddy

thanks for the support guys and gals. i wasnt trying to milk any sympathy its just that thread and my news coincided. its been tough for sure and its going to get alot harder. thanks for the kind words all of you.

it all helps and it all means alot.

i cry everytime i feel like a fuckup.

i feel like a fuckup quite often these days.

it's going on a second bad month.

sonikBOOM-

Take care of yourself through this. I hope you find those weird islands of peace in the grief when you need them.

My girlfried form when I was 15 got in touch recently.We haven't spoken at all since 1990, so our young relationship still carries with it a sense of innocence and sincerity that has always meant a great deal to me, and even helped to shape my marriage as one of mutual respect and independence. At thew time, her mother was in jail for cocaine possession, and she was working at a Waffle House in order to pay her rent. She could not afford electricity.

My Mom found out that she was at home alone with no electricity and, instead of calling DFACS, bought her a bunch of candles, a battery powered alarm clock...and started sending me to school with two lunches every day, one of me and one for her. I have carried with me a deep feleing of love for this girl (now woman) since then; not a sexual adult love, but a romantic, childish love.

She emailed me after finding me on a website and we had lunch on Tuesday.

Since we last spoke, she has had her sister and 'stepfather' shot and killed, had her mother have two heart attacks and a stroke, had her house burn down, had the father of her first child abandon her, have her second child born with no fingers on his left hand or toes on his right foot and spent a moderate amount of time doing crank.

Tuesday night I cried and listened to music and wondered where the fuck the last 15 years went.

Edit: Boom...I am very sorry to hear about your rough times.