michaeltheangryrussian wrote:Oh yeah
When i used to live in Cleveland, there was this dry cleaning place. It had huge lit up red letters, and as you would be driving down this one particular street, the dry cleaning place would be at the end of it, facing you as you drove. Because of the bright letters, and the style of the font used, It clearly read:
PUSSY CLEANERS
Once you got closer though, you would realize that it says FUSSY CLEANERS. ha!
It still catches me off guard whenever I go back to visit.

Ahhh, much like the FUCK VIDEO chain in Western North Carolina, that, upon closer observation, was actually 'FLICK VIDEO' with the 'L' and the 'I' just too damned close together. I think they finally changed the name of the stores.

Yes, yes. Now I remember.
Here in Bloomington, IN, there is this mini corporation called TIS. They started out as a book store, ripping off college students. Then they built a music store about two buildings down. Then they got really crazy and decided to open up a swimwear shop another couple buildings down. The name of the swimwear shop was called "Suit Yourself". This was painted onto the back of the store in big blue letters, against a white wall, which I could clearly see when standing on my front porch. Some pranksters got creative. They simply turned the lower-case "u" into a lower-case "h" with some swift strokes of blue and white paint.

Shit Yourself

theres a road sign on the way to a nearby city (bristol, uk, for anyone who cares) for a small village called Pucklechurch. a little white paint has changed it to say Fucklechurch. its been like that for years and nobody has replaced it

another one is the small town of Penistone, where the local sports centre had a 20-foot sign that read 'Penis one sports centre'

Similar to typos is the intentional fucking-with of letters on marquee signs. There was a tanning place here that, caught up in wartime fever, placed the classic "United We Stand" on their outside marquee. A friend of mine got the bright idea to remove the S and D from the word "stand" to send a more apt message: "United We Tan". The owners persisted in replacing the S and D, but my friend was just as persistent in removing them again. I think I'd have more faith in a tanning place if I knew they were united in their tanning efforts. They can stand all they want, but will it give me a healthy tan? Not unless they're standing on the button that operates the tanning bed.

and i'll bet that back in the 40's, a lot of prostitutes were offended by the wartime slogan, "loose lips sink ships".

don't think that i'm patronising andrew's complaint--i'm not. i think that all that pseudo-patriotic bullshit is just a brainwashing thing anyway. i like how steve puts it--"Operation Desert Sham". i hate those goddamn "united we stand" bumper stickers and shirts and hats. i think the people who wear them are small-minded, reactionary puds who have no clue what is actually going on.

when i was in high school, students were not allowed to sit through the daily recital of the pledge of alligence--they made you stand, even if you were a foreign exchange student, an athiest, or whatever. so i always recited it in french, which made just about the same amount of sense.

i am happy to live in america, for what it's worth. but all this farcicial shit is really beginning to eat at my pants. i want a bumper sticker that says, "ignited, shit's grand".

anyway.

something else that makes me laugh is how people become obsessed with overpunctuating sentences, especially at used car places, like this:

"welcome"
TO!!!
Z-Frank Motors


and also like this:

"POOL"
"TABLES"
on
"SALE"

that always seems to happen the most with lettering done with shoe polish in shop windows. it's always the same style, and always with the same mistakes. i guess there's only one guy in town who does it; he seems to have the market cornered.

regards, jet.

"welcome"
TO!!!
Z-Frank Motors


and also like this:

"POOL"
"TABLES"
on
"SALE"

the extra quotation marks are my favorite phenomenon b/c they are so inexplicable

there was this place in missoula, montana--bitterroot market--that would commonly put three or even four quote marks around things

"'CANTALOUPE'" 4 FOR ""$$1$""

i guess it was extra-highly ironic cantaloupe

I recently saw another terrific sign here in Charlotte, criticising the light rail system that's being built here. It was claiming that the budget for the thing was something like "$35,685,948,000 Billion." Does that number even exist? I mean, what kind of fucking number is it that's eleven digits past a billion?

Chris Garges
Last in education, USA

Intern_8033 wrote:This is off topic, but I find "United We Stand" to be the most offensive wartime slogan; I would be less offended by, for example, a t-shirt that says "Homeland security starts at home" with a picture of a gun pointed at a random arabian guy. i hate it because it simply isn't true, we don't stand united.

Figure it's as good a time and thread as any for this joke:

Ahmed and Ramzi are Arab brothers immigrating to the U.S. The split up upon arrival in NYC, vowing to meet up again in a year to settle a $100 bet on who will be the "most American" after living in the U.S. for a year. So, a year later, they meet and Ahmed speaks up first, telling Ramzi, "Well, after I leave here with my $100 from you, I'm going to take my wife and 2 kids in our American flag-adorned Chevrolet to the Yankees game, using our season tickets, where we'll all sing the national anthem by heart, eat hot dogs, drink Coca Cola and Miller Lite, and sing 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game.' So, how can you POSSIBLY be more American than me?"

To which Ramzi replies, "Fuck you, towelhead," thus succinctly winning his $100.

Intern_8033 wrote:woah, i was just criticizing that phrase, i didn't mean to come off as anti-war/anti-american.

you weren't, don't worry about it. i wasn't meaning to come off as anti-war/anti-american, either--i was just taking your initial comment and running with it, in my own direction. everything you say, andrew, is comic gold, nothing else.

regards, jet.

I've got two for you: the last two towns I lived in were Quincy and Othello. Someone has painted over the "un" on the Quincy sign to make it read "Quincy: Opportunities limited", and in Othello, there is a large water tower that says "Welcome to Othello." Some friends of mine actually climbed up there late one night and changed it "Welcome to hell".