5
by DrAwkward_Archive
I very much miss Jay's Upstairs. I have told the story about IfiHadAHiFi's show at Jay's Upstairs many times, but i will now relate it again. Skip ahead if you've heard it.
Jay's was kind enough to book us sight unseen, but due to the unseen part, unfortunately booked us on the "last show ever" of white-boy funk maestros "The Original Booty Burglars." As we sat at the bar before the show, we regaled the bartenders with tales of Wisconsin and our own warped imaginations. At one point, the bartender looked at us and said, "you know, you guys are hilarious, i really hope your band doesn't suck." We all laughed heartily.
We opened the show for the Booty Burglars--excuse me, The ORIGINAL Booty Burglars, to a less-than-enthused response from the audience, which was comprised solely of the friends and family of the funksters. During the very first song, my ride cymbal stand collapsed, so after the first song was finished i picked it up and hurled it off stage into what would have been the center of the crowd, had the crowd been anywhere near the stage. The end of the song was met with dead silence, save for a *CLANG*CLANG*CLANG* as the stand met its fate. I yelled, "Thank you Missoula, we've got twelve more!" We played about 6 more songs and then finished as per our usual set time, to a similar response throughout.
The bar employees apologized for the audience and exclaimed, "You guys were FUCKING AWESOME!" We were paid $150 of the Original Booty Burglars' money, and were fed free whisky nonstop the rest of the night. Somehow, someone in our entourage was sober enough to drive our van to one of the bartenders' houses, where we planned to sleep for the night before embarking on the long drive to Portland the next day. When we got out of the van, Yale Delay threw up an entire black bean burrito that he had eaten earlier in the night. It looked completely undigested, and i'm sad that i didn't look for the tortilla on the road next to it, or i would have tried to scam Yale into thinking it was a completely new burrito the next morning.
90 minutes after we went to sleep it was time to wake up and start the 11-hour drive to Portland. I staggered upstairs and was greeted by the bartender as he snorted a line off some plastic kitchenware, Moulin Rouge blaring out of the television. "Oh, excuse me," he said. "How rude of me to be doing hard drugs in front of you. Want some?" "No thanks," i replied. "Are you sure? It's six o'clock in the morning, and you've got a long drive." In my sleep-deprived state, this made sense in my head for about 2 seconds until my brain snapped back at me with a "STOP IT! THIS IS HOW BANDS DEVELOP DRUG HABIT! THIS IS HOW IT STARTS!" So i again politely declined, and when everyone else got up, we thanked him profusely for his hospitality, and departed for Portland.
We learned later that jay's Upstairs closed shortly after our show there--apparently in part because the bar lost money by giving away too much free booze to bands.
It should also be mentioned that it was during our drive to Missoula that EA forum member Mandroid2000 and her boyfriend--one of the two guys that had been projecting films over us during the tour--decided that they were going to get married in Vegas at the tail end of the tour. Ask her how that turned out sometime!
Last year we finally returned to Missoula and played a house show. We got there late, and we had equipment problems, and the living room was cramped. We played four songs and then stopped, as our late arrival shortened our playing time, and we were kinda sucking it up anyway. But people still inexplicably loved the set and bought a bunch of shit. We were given $70 from the door and made even more money off merch, which in Milwaukee is unheard of for a basement show. Then, our host, Niki, took us to an excellent diner and put us up for the night.
The next day we drove to Havre, MT, and played a very strange bar with Satan's Slaves, the worst and greatest stoner metal band ever. Before the show, WWE Monday Night Raw was on. Upon WWE female wrestler Lita's appearance on the show, one of the patrons remarked, "I'd pee in her butt."
Missoula, Montana, by god, you are NOT CRAP.
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Marsupialized wrote:Thank you so much for the pounding, it came in handy.