Kenny: Your friend who drives a hundred miles to pick up you, your girlfriend, your mom and your dog after your Land Cruiser throws a rod on a remote Idaho highway on a Sunday night

brad! wtf???? more with the vehicular problems! is this a new car? yes! your old one was totaled!

j.b. your father-in-law who drives his mobile home 800mi from missoula, montana to cheyenne, wyoming after you smash your band's van into a jackknifed semi

j.w. you carry an old man from your cab into his living room and place him on a chair. you have to remove his wallet to get your fare out of it. you wonder, as you close the front door, if he will stay upright in the chair, manage to get up and go to bed, or fall off the chair onto the floor.

kenny!!

the detroit pistons' defense, 2004

the detroit pistons' defense, 2004

JB: Cruising around on Rasheed Wallace's shoulders while Tayshaun Prince swats away the confetti from getting into your eyes in Detroit after the win tomorrow.

JW: Choosing the corn row pattern in Ben Wallace's hair just before the away win in Game 6.

kerble wrote:Kenanananannneneneenny:
Waking one day to find that by merely wiggling your fingers, you too can make audible hot metal licks just like bill and ted.

just better = waking one day to find that by merely wiggling your fingers, you can control Keanu Reeve's bladder

just worse = you go to sleep clean shaven and wake up with the facial hair of Anthrax's Scott Ian (from his chin-hair-dyed-to-resemble-a-raccoon-tail period)

Please, kenny:
- you have a bacon tree in your yard, always flush with perfectly cooked, crispy bacon, ripe for the pickin'

Please, kenny:
- you have a bacon tree in your yard, always flush with perfectly cooked, crispy bacon, ripe for the pickin'

JB : you have a bacon tree in your solarium (don't want it dying in the winter now do we) that's always flush with perfectly cooked *floppy* bacon, cause crispy = yuck.

JW : the tree is in your bedroom, and it drips grease on your face while you're asleep

ken-dle in the wind:

having two co-workers ask you within the past several weeks "have you been working out?"

stackmatic wrote:you have a bacon tree in your yard, always flush with perfectly cooked, crispy bacon, ripe for the pickin'

Just Better: You have a cocaine 'n' hookers tree in your backyard, complete with cocaine 'n' hookers
Just Worse: Your neighbor has a cocaine 'n' hookers tree in his backyard, but has built around it an effective crocodile-filled moat

toomanyhelicopters wrote:having two co-workers ask you within the past several weeks "have you been working out?"

Just Better: Replying yes, but knowing that you owe all credit for your improved physique to your vigorous new masturbation regimen
Just Worse: Actually uttering the phrase "Have you been working out?" to another human being

Kenny: The sense of justice and professional accomplishment that a corporate attorney feels when he revokes the internet privileges of a fellow employee/geeky software engineer who downloaded two episodes of "STAR TREK: VOYAGER"

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Kenny: The sense of justice and professional accomplishment that a corporate attorney feels when he revokes the internet privileges of a fellow employee/geeky software engineer who downloaded two episodes of "STAR TREK: VOYAGER"

JB: The sense of confusion and panic one gets when realizing that your latest, greatest girlfriend's mother is a Trekkie, complete with phaser.
JW: The sense of utter disdain and pent-up aggression I feel when looking through the latest issue of SPIN.



Kenny:
Not realizing that "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, season II" is being released tomorrow, and using your record store connections to buy it a day early.

The sense of utter disdain and pent-up aggression I feel when looking through the latest issue of SPIN.

jesus! christ! on a crutch! i get this piece of poo in the mail! for free! at work! and i read it in five fucking minutes! it sucks!!!!!!!!

you're right!

Kenny:
Not realizing that "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, season II" is being released tomorrow, and using your record store connections to buy it a day early.

j.b. you dodge three or four speeding tickets over two years b/c you are driving a '67 chevy caprice and cops like cars like that

j.w. you get out of a $35 parking ticket, but to do so, you must borrow a friend's digital camera, drive five miles back to the parking space where you got the ticket, take a picture of the 'no parking' sign obscured by foliage, print out a decent color copy of the picture, and mail the picture along with the ticket to the city of chicago. who never write you back, so you have to go online to find out you have been cleared.

kennEH?

foghorn leghorn

tmidgett wrote:kennEH?

foghorn leghorn

just better = ken "hawk" harrelson, who is pretty much the human equivalent to foghorn leghorn
just worse = hong kong phooey


Please, kenny:
- biting off and consuming the bits of cheese that cling to a burgerking cheeseburger wrapper

kay - biting off and consuming the bits of cheese that cling to a burgerking cheeseburger wrapper

jaybee- biting off and consuming the bits of cheese that cling to a burgerking cheeseburger wrapper, and finding and consuming a nickel-sized chunk of cheese-covered beef that fell from said burgerking cheeseburger.

jaydubyuh- biting off and consuming the bits of cheese that cling to a burgerking cheeseburger wrapper from a burgerking cheeseburger you didnt eat.

Ynnek. - drawing tattoos on your drunken friends with sharpie markers.

wiggins wrote:Ynnek. - drawing tattoos on your drunken friends with sharpie markers.

just better: drawing king diamond's facepaint design on a drunken friend with a sharpie

just worse: actually being king diamond and holding down that day job at burger king to buy spooky props for the next tour



the kenny: the girl in the next cubicle over refusing to shut up about this damned prince concert she went to last night.