it's PC-based. requires a computer with a reasonably loud speaker setup. it's pretty cool though, i'm rather proud.

the program has a window where you type the message that you will see when the alarm goes off. i typically go with stuff like "WAKE UP, DOUCHEBAG!" though the default is "Good Morning!". has a couple boxes where you type in the hour and minute when the alarm should fire. has a checkbox called "enabled". check or uncheck it, the status of this box determines whether or not the alarm will fire when the computer's clock is the same time as the time entered in the boxes.

but here's the beauty. once the alarm fires, you can't just uncheck the "enabled" box. well, you can uncheck it, but it has no effect. nor can you close the program (unless you open the task manager, select the program, and forcibly stop it. task manager will say the program is not responding, do you wanna end anyways, etc). the way to make it stop is to click a button called "Turn Off". and when you click that button, it randomly generates four numbers between 1 and 9999. which you have to add up. the way to shut the alarm off is to add the four numbers, and type in the result. then it shuts off.

rather than do the math on paper (or worse, cheat by using excel) i add the columns from right to left, but type in the number that results from adding each column, so i end up typing in the exact reverse of the actual answer. then i hit escape to clear it, and type the digits in the correct order.

the result is, to shut off my alarm in the morning, i have to walk over to my computer, successfully perform some math in my head, and also memorize and reverse a five-digit number in my head. at that point, i'm pretty awake.

and i still find a way to get back in bed after all that. WTF?!?!

next step is, once i have a ton of money anyways, an automated system that starts blaring really bad salsa music in my bedroom, and turns on the shower in the bathroom, and the only way to make the salsa music stop is to go solve some kinda puzzle on a waterproof touchscreen that's only accessible by physically entering the streaming water of the shower.

i believe at that point i'll get up, leave the room, and go sleep on the couch downstairs, and just let the shower and salsa have at it. i wish i loved my job.

alarm clock program, available for free to anybody who wants it.

This website is for you, my friend.

http://littlefluffy.com/

Enjoy!

I could use an alarm clock that actually wakes me up. Right now I'm relying on my phone.

bravo toomanyhelicopters!

...while we're with absurd and beautiful machines, isn't this sublime?

http://www.nmsi.ac.uk/piclib/imagerecor ... d=10327398

Gah! You sadistic bastard! Cool sounding indeed.

What language did you use to write the program? I bet I could figure a way to kill the process though...hmmm, maybe you need to send it to me to figure it out!

wrote it in VB, the only language i'm really fluent in. the program cannot be terminated by clicking the X in the upper-right of the window, nor can it be closed by hitting alt-f4. there's a watch in the Form_Unload event that automatically cancels any calls to unload the form. but yes, task manager will take it out.

it requires a certain amount of compliance by the person waking up. for instance, you could unplug the power to the computer, or to the speakers, or you could mute the PC's wav output (something i will look into preventing if i ever hit the day where i start going that route in the morning).

as it is now, i am alright with waking up and doing the math to shut the thing up. i just need to make some kinda rube goldberg device where as soon as my body weight leaves the bed to go shut this thing off, it covers the bed in a blanket of spikes or something. that might be the only thing that could prevent me from getting back into bed. well, that or maybe if i figure out a way to fall asleep at a normal time, instead of 4 or 5am.

if you (or anybody) want the code, or the executable file, send me an email at toomanyhelicopters at yahoo dot com, and i'll be happy to send it along.

dear mr. helicopters, i am terrible at waking up and next year in college i fear i will sleep through classes which will result in bad things. but i have a mac. will this still work? any ideas of any other programs that might work? i was thinking about rigging up my alarm clock so that a vat of cold water falls on me. but than i might get mold growing in the bed, and thats no good

hrm, mac compatibility... not sure. macs have been able to run some PC applications for a long time, right? or is it just that they can read PC format files on PC format disks? well i'm really not sure about it. it's pretty much just a tiny exe file that uses all out-of-the-box standard windows commands and stuff. the only thing i'd question, if macs can indeed run PC .exe files, would be that it uses the "beep" function to click the speaker (which google confirms, memory has served me correctly, it was "poke -16336,0" on an apple II, egads!)

here's what i learned from my best friend and fellow alarm clock technician. his preferred method...

get a really loud alarm clock. put it on the other side of the room. preferrably find an alarm clock that uses a sliding switch to toggle the alarm on or off. then cut a small section of toothpick that can be placed within the switch, preventing you from sliding the switch to the "off" position until you can fanagle the small piece of toothpick out of the switch. then, and this is key, cover the shit out of the alarm with duct tape (not the speaker though) so you can't even get near the on/off switch without removing the duct tape. in theory, by the time you get up, walk across the room, remove the duct tape, and pick out the section of toothpick, you are awake.

my current rig is as follows...

dual-alarm clock radio on desk on opposite side of room. loud urban contemporary music at 8:49, even louder beeping at 9:23.

single-alarm clock radio at the foot of the bed. loud beep at 9:28.

computer running my new "alarm" program. set for 9:30.

two or three alarms set in palm pilot, for 9:20, 9:40, 9:50, it varies from day to day.

typically i get up, in series, to shut each of them off, then return to bed. after shutting off the last one, i convince myself that i'll just lay down for a second, and i won't fall asleep. then i wake up around 11am going "fuck, fuck!" and get to work about 2 hours late.

seriously though, the toothpick-duct tape-across the room thing worked good for my friend. it comes highly recommended.

sleeping through classes results in your failure of college. this is a very, very not good thing.