Kenny: Your local alternative weekly provide tips on upcoming rock music shows by quoting the bands' websites and stating that various band members are "all around good guys".

JayBee: Seeing people you know get excited about the reunion of a once-pseudo-legendary local band, whose individual members never left town and who you see all the time getting drunk in the town's one cool bar, getting stoned at your girlfriend's friends' parties, riding their bikes w/cig in mouth, and generally filling the role of local has-beens to an absolute T.

JayDub: Getting aroused by a picture of one of the chunky transsexuauls available for "outcalls" in the classified ads in the back of your local alternative weekly.

Kenspiracy by the Greg Ken Band: Meeting somebody who only talks about Ben Stiller, and never being able to get away from this person.

Angus Jung wrote:Kenspiracy by the Greg Ken Band: Meeting somebody who only talks about Ben Stiller, and never being able to get away from this person.

jb: being some jerk on a message board who only talks about king diamond

jw: having to sit through any of ben stiller's movies



time ken-sidered as a helix of semi-precious stones: finding out your band inexplicably has a show opening for a viking-themed metal band

time ken-sidered as a helix of semi-precious stones: finding out your band is opening for a viking-themed metal band

this could be very amazing experience. i am full of optimism today.
so:

j.b. opening for said viking-themed band at a venue where you must
luge to get to the venue

j.w. finding out that the viking-themed band are also amazing viking cooks
and sitting down to a very swashbuckling meal with them after the show!

kenny: rush limbaugh - point guard for the dallas mavericks

brian wrote:kenny: rush limbaugh - point guard for the dallas mavericks

Just Better: Sonny Bono, 2002 Winter Olympics, Gold Medalist, Men's Giant Slalom
Just Worse: Christopher Reeve, 2007 America's Cup, Team Stars & Stripes, Anchor

Kenny: Consuming an excessive amount of Oscar Mayer products, which results in a severe case of constipation. Thereafter, after much struggle, you produce an inhuman amount of tan-pinkish waste, or what we will refer to for the purposes of this kenny as a "baloneyous dump"

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Kenny: Consuming an excessive amount of Oscar Mayer products, which results in a severe case of constipation. Thereafter, after much struggle, you produce an inhuman amount of tan-pinkish waste, or what we will refer to for the purposes of this kenny as a "baloneyous dump"

J.B.: Eating a sandwich from Subway.
J.W.: A thieving fool, or felonious chump.

Since no one took the bait before, please Kenny: Microsoft Office

Since no one took the bait before, please Kenny: Microsoft Office

yust better : grand theft auto, vice city
yust worse : a ford festiva

and now for something we hope you'll really kenny:
"porno secretary", also known as "porno librarian"... the bookworm who takes off her glasses, lets her hair down, and opens up her buttondown shirt to reveal etc etc

kenuh - "porno secretary", also known as "porno librarian"... the bookworm who takes off her glasses, lets her hair down, and opens up her buttondown shirt to reveal etc etc

juhbu'uh - gold boullion.

juhwoarh - a free seafood dinner at an upscale restaurant.

please kenny - being a stay-at-home dad, while you're wife works at a law firm to pay the bills, subsequently coming home every day in a provacatively-cut pinstriped business suit.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:
Kenny: Your local alternative weekly provides tips on upcoming rock music shows by quoting the bands' websites and stating that various band members are "all around good guys".

jb: running into said band at a bar late that same evening, only to see them repeatedly asking everyone if they know where to 'score some blow'

jw: the drummer in your band gets in a fight with said band's keyboard player and loses.


kenneth: realizing that your only option is to take a shit at the bar.

jupiter wrote:kenneth: realizing that your only option is to take a shit at the bar.

just better = you are handed a wet $100 bill, yours to keep, fresh from the back pocket of a sweaty, shirtless, cutoff-jeans wearing, Jimmy Smits

just worse = realizing that your only option is to take a shit in one of the bleacher section men's rooms during the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley Field


this leftover kenny:
- a male high school gym teacher with something to prove

jupiter wrote:kenneth: realizing that your only option is to take a shit at the bar.

JB: Being ahead of you in line.
JW: That phenomenon where even if there are two fixtures in the bathroom (i.e. a pot and a urinal--the sink doesn't count) most doudes go in one at a time and lock the door (because of "performance anxiety"?) and the line gets longer and longer. So much longer in fact, that the line to the ladies' room is always shorter (even though sources say they only have one fixture), which makes no sense as we know doudes will pee anywhere and don't really "require" a fixture in the first place.

Kenormous:
"Trough-Style" urinals (a la wrigley field)


Faiz