you lose a bet and are forced to spend the night in a teepee with Lou Diamond Phillips, no sexual connotations whatsoever, you just have to spend the night in a teepee with Lou Diamond Phillips

incredible

ok

j.b. you win a bet and get to spend a night in a teepee with jimmy smits. no sexual connotations--you just hang with jimmy smits all night, in a teepee. he talks about what it was like to work so closely with kim delaney and andrea thompson, how cool dennis franz is in real life. at some point, he looks wistfully through the top of the teepee, where the sticks cross in the hole on top, and you think he might be tearing up a little bit, as he realizes that he was on one of the top-rated shows in television at one time. and now he is not. being an actor isn't that easy, really--you are so dependent on other people in your quest to work. but all in all, he's a pretty cool guy. he has some dope, so you smoke some dope and inevitably one of you makes a peace pipe joke.

j.w. your wife leaves you for melissa etheridge and has a baby by david crosby. it is humiliating, somewhat, but you are lou diamond phillips and never exactly want for female companionship.

kenny?!?!

you wake up one morning to discover that you have grown both a monobrow and a soul patch

tmidgett wrote:
kenny?!?!

you wake up one morning to discover that you have grown both a monobrow and a soul patch

just better: you wake up w/ a huge/dense/creatively scultped beard that allows you to quit yr dayjob, as all yr income is now coming from beard constest, public appearences, etc

way better: you wake up with a handlebar moustache that can lift up to twenty lbs w/ each "bar"

just worse: covered in noses

kenny: blowing out out both rear tires on the way to work this morning

the Classical wrote:kenny: blowing out out both rear tires on the way to work this morning

jb: blowing out both axles performing a Dukes of Hazzard "yeeeee-haah" jump over a dog in a wheelbarrow, a row of well-manicured hedges, and a small hay barn.

jw: blowing out both ankles performing a Jackie Chan "yeeeee-hah" jump from a dirigible and missing the designated small barn full of hay landing point, bouncing over a row of well-manicured hedges and landing in a wheelbarrow where a dog, lovingly and with an instinctive desire to promote healing, licks free of disease the bones sticking out of your feet.


Greg KEN Band:

Two hours after a delicious seafood dinner consisting of clams, shrimp, oysters, calimari, salmon and mussels breaks bad.

Mr. Chimp wrote:Greg KEN Band:

Two hours after a delicious seafood dinner consisting of clams, shrimp, oysters, calimari, salmon and mussels breaks bad.

JB : having already been through the experience, and thus no longer eating these gastro-demons of the sea.

JW : finding out your belly doesn't so much like these demons of the sea, about two hours after having eaten them, while you're driving on an expressway.

Kenneth Star:

buying used cd's

Mr. Chimp wrote:Two hours after a delicious seafood dinner consisting of clams, shrimp, oysters, calimari, salmon and mussels breaks bad.

Just Better: The pain and indignity of simultaneous diarrhea and vomiting, but having this situation cause you to think of Led Zeppelin's "When The Levee Breaks"
Just Worse: The pain and indignity of simultaneous diarrhea and vomiting, but having this situation cause you to think of Jack Klugman's battle against cancer of the larynx

Kenny: My brother went to see "Fahrenheit 9/11" this weekend. Anticipating a chilly theater, he wore long sleeves and pants. However, he stepped into the theater and noticed that it was rather warm. He grew increasingly uncomfortable, and decided to check out another theater in that building, which was perfectly cool. Therefore, my brother approached a theater staffer to advise him of an assumed air conditioning malfunction. However, the theater staffer advised my brother that there was no malfunction, but that the local theater management had been instructed not to turn on the air conditioning in the theater showing "Fahreinheit 9/11".

Kenny: My brother went to see "Fahrenheit 9/11" this weekend. Anticipating a chilly theater, he wore long sleeves and pants. However, he stepped into the theater and noticed that it was rather warm. He grew increasingly uncomfortable, and decided to check out another theater in that building, which was perfectly cool. Therefore, my brother approached a theater staffer to advise him of an assumed air conditioning malfunction. However, the theater staffer advised my brother that there was no malfunction, but that the local theater management had been instructed not to turn on the air conditioning in the theater showing "Fahreinheit 9/11".

j.b. seeing _touching the void_ whilst naked in a meat locker, hopping up and down on your badly fractured leg

j.w. michael moore in smell-o-vision

buying used cd's

j.b. buying a car which serves the sole purpose of allowing you to commute to and from work inexpensively.

j.w. buying a new garage door. it's not very exciting.

i can't remember the last time i bought a used cd. weird.

kenny?

the rapidograph cartoons of drew and josh alan friedman

the rapidograph cartoons of drew and josh alan friedman

JB : the dirty cartoons of the japanese

JW : the pointilism cartoons of... heh.

it seems to me, you lived your life like a kendle in the wind:

the late-night teevee infomercial for Alzaire

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Kenny: My brother went to see "Fahrenheit 9/11" this weekend. Anticipating a chilly theater, he wore long sleeves and pants. However, he stepped into the theater and noticed that it was rather warm. He grew increasingly uncomfortable, and decided to check out another theater in that building, which was perfectly cool. Therefore, my brother approached a theater staffer to advise him of an assumed air conditioning malfunction. However, the theater staffer advised my brother that there was no malfunction, but that the local theater management had been instructed not to turn on the air conditioning in the theater showing "Fahreinheit 9/11".

Brad, this is a truly awesome Kenny. Its a challenge to judge what situations would be deemed better or worse than this because you could base your conclusion solely on the act of turning off the a/c in the movie theater, or the influences that would not allow the a/c to be turned on. Then you must ask yourself, is the 'just better' supposed to be a more extreme example of this type of right wing infiltration bullshit, or a situation that is not as intolerable for the decreasing number of non-dronelike citizens in our country. Very cool, here goes...


JB: When my dad was a junior in high school, he was removed from class every day for a whole semester because he had hair down to his shoulders. He even put it up in a short hair wig, and still was removed from class each day when the bell rang. He filed suit against his high school and it went all the way to Federal court. The ruling was that in a public high school the dress code could regulate garments only, and not hair length, tatoo's or body jewelry.

JW: While watching a WWII special a couple of weeks ago on the History channel, I noticed that when Hitler first came into power he gave a speech about 'spying on your neighbor' to protect the public from evil. Not 5 minutes after the show was over I flipped to C-Span where they were playing Bush's speech after 9-11. It was almost identical to Hitler's. "Keep a watchful eye.."

Shoryuken: The State of Illinois making drivers licenses and state ID's out of a new more breakable material, then passing a law making broken ID's invalid even if they are still legible.

Jupiter wrote:Shoryuken: The State of Illinois making drivers licenses and state ID's out of a new more breakable material, then passing a law making broken ID's invalid even if they are still legible.

JB : hitting that certain distance in an egg-tossing competition where you're just one step too far apart to catch the egg without it shattering all over you.

JW : places that put forth the illusion of recycling, by giving you recycling bins to put your stuff in, but you notice that when the cleaning crew comes at night, they just dump everything together into one big garbage can.

kenny:

the use of trumpet or any other horns in what would have otherwise been a pretty decent straightforward rock band (i.e. rocket from the crypt)

toomanyhelicopters wrote:kenny:

the use of trumpet or any other horns in what would have otherwise been a pretty decent straightforward rock band (i.e. rocket from the crypt)

JB: The use of guitarbassdrums in some fashion that *isnt* just another pretty decent rock band.

JW: Ska.

Kenneth Starr:
Working out regularly even though it makes no appreciable difference in your appearance or body shape.