this picture, taken in a Newcastle nightclub of a Great British chav couple made me cry tears of milk;

i was doing a pub quiz the other evening and when i was signing our team up the lady said

"take 8 pieces of paper, its 8 pounds"

i did as she said and went back to my table concerned and said

"she said it's £8! to play a quiz? there's only 4 of us in the team. that doesn't sound fair"

my friend said,
"i'm sure it wasn't that much last time, in fact i'm sure it was free"

i said,

"let's just play for kicks yeah? i'll go and tell her"

off i went to the lady and told her that we were sorry but we though 8quid to play a quiz was a bit steep thank you very much and would she mind if we just played along without actually entering.

she said
"no dear, it's 8 rounds. there are 8 rounds in the quiz. it's free to enter"

I didn't hear this today but I've been laughing about it every day since I heard it.

There is a live recording of Queen where Freddie introduces some songs from the Hot Space album with the line:

And now we're going to play some songs in a black style!

i think "butterfinger is when you put anything but her finger up your butt"

So I had a band do a tour of the studio. One of the members of the band went to school for recording.

Him--"What system do you use?"

Me--"Nuendo"

(later on....)

Him---"What are those....?" (pointing to my outboard mic pres)

Me--"My mic preamps"

Him--"Nuendo doesn't come with any? Pro-tools does, maybe that is why Pro-tools is the best."

PS....I am new here.

Hello to all. You guys rule.

Strangely, this is not taken from the onion.

David Copperfield tricks robbers

The 49-year-old illusionist was walking with two female assistants to their tour bus after his show Sunday at a performing arts center when four teens pulled up in a black car, a police report said.

Two armed robbers allegedly got out of the car and demanded the group's belongings. One woman handed over $400 from her pockets and the other gave up her purse with 200 euros, $100, her passport, plane tickets and a cell phone. Copperfield refused to empty his pockets, the report said.

Copperfield says he turned his pockets inside out to reveal nothing in them, even though he was carrying his passport, wallet and cell phone.

"Call it reverse pickpocketing," Copperfield told The Palm Beach Post for Wednesday's editions.

Copperfield read the license plate number of the car to an assistant while she called 911, the report said.

Four teenagers were arrested and charged with armed robbery. They were held without bond, police said. The women's property was recovered.

The headline on the front of the Yorkshire Evening Post today is MURDER FRENZY OF A TRAINSPOTTER.

The schizophrenic woman I work with just asked the office if we like her big bag of Kit Kats.

watching snooker on eurosport. commentator reads out question posted on the snooker forum, about smoking in once particular snooker club in cracov or somwhere. he is happy to provide an answer:"you can't smoke inside, you have to go outside and smoke on the stairs. while you are there it is allowed to smoke everything available in this world, exluding the stairs". i couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes.

Talkin about police with a co-worker.... he tells a story. i'm at work I'll have to make this brief.

"you know where shciller woods is at? I got pulled over last weekend, i got out of the car, the cop yells to get back in the car. another squad car pulls up. I get arrested and brought to the station. Apparently i look just like this sicko they've been looking for in the woods. The guy gives oral sex to DUCKS!"

right before my co-worker started in, he crumpled up 3 pieces of paper-towels in his hand. he continues...

"I mean MAn what kind of sicko gives oral sex to ducks!" He coughs and the 3 pieces of paper towel appear to fly out of his mouth. I completely thought he was serious and the apparent feathers were just too funny. He goes,"well back to the salt mines" and just walks away.