If you are Bill Hall, you should right now buy a car dealership, re-name it "Pink Bat," register the domain "pinkbatcars.com," and pledge to use your momma-name pink bat for the rest of the 2006 season, or the rest of your career in the US Major Leagues, whichever comes first.

Mark Kotsay used his pink bat to hit the first HR off Randy Johnson by a left-handed batter in 2 years, and he did it on the first pitch of his first AB.

steve wrote:If you are Bill Hall, you should [...] pledge to use your momma-name pink bat for the rest of the 2006 season, or the rest of your career in the US Major Leagues, whichever comes first.

Bill Hall was always a highly regarded but frustrating prospect. However, he has emerged in the last year as a fine and rapidly improving player who can play any number of positions (i.e., 2B, SS, 3B, OF) well and provide good offense.

So, yes, Bill Hall will be in the major leagues for 2006 and many years beyond that. The internet (and my eyes) tell me that.

It's important to point out that Bill Hall is not simply hanging on in the big leagues. What I mean is that he is not simply hanging on in the big leagues. Perhaps it's even important to note that Bill Hall actually plays in the big leagues.

These players you make fun of, Bradley R. Weissenberger, these defensive specialists, bad hitters and one-handed cripples, does it make you feel superior to do it? That as bad a hitter as you are, you are not being paid to play major league baseball? And you have two hands to not do it with?

You are a sick fuck, Bradley R. Weisseneberger. And Bill Hall's momma would love to be a spokeswoman/greeter. Why do you crush so many dreams?

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:It's important to point out that Bill Hall is not simply hanging on in the big leagues. What I mean is that he is not simply hanging on in the big leagues. Perhaps it's even important to note that Bill Hall actually plays in the big leagues.

...and then there is hanging on.

steve wrote:These players you make fun of, Bradley R. Weissenberger, these defensive specialists, bad hitters and one-handed cripples, does it make you feel superior to do it? That as bad a hitter as you are, you are not being paid to play major league baseball? And you have two hands to not do it with?

You are a sick fuck, Bradley R. Weisseneberger. And Bill Hall's momma would love to be a spokeswoman/greeter. Why do you crush so many dreams?

steve, the ad hominem argument, this is some sort of refuge, like a hut or a cave, maybe?

Anyway, steve, you make fun of momma's boy Bill Hall, who is apparently so bad as maybe to be "bounced" from MLB this year! You have said this thing! You call him future car dealer! This is maybe only second to the "baseball-player-as-insurance-agent" bit for insult.

So, yes, Bill Hall is so bad according to you, steve, who is to love so much Doug Mientkiewicz, Henry Blanco and Chad Bentz, but does not love Bill Hall, who is actually a pretty good player.

So, steve, the lover of baseball fetishes, maybe you will love your baseball player fetishes of defensive specialists and bad hitters and one-handed cripples. Maybe you see the "special" value in these players.

And maybe you will make ridiculous photographic assertion that Doug Mientkiewicz had anything at all to do with the Boston Red Sox 2004 (thanks, vockins!) World Championship. Maybe you will suggest that Henry Blanco is a "heroic rock" or something that does not align with those things in the real world where things happen and exist.

But maybe a good player like Bill Hall, of whom you make so much fun and dismiss as car dealer, maybe he could not even impress you with his talent and performance even to hit you in head with his pink home run bat, which, to me, Bradley R. Weisseneberger, as a sick fuck, sounds like a funny idea!

steve, who knows, maybe you were just careless with your casual dismissal of Bill Hall. I could see that. I mean, who the fuck is Bill Hall after all?

But he's pretty good! I like is Bill Hall!

Canseco? That's not hanging on. That is a guy who obviously loves playing more than I or probably anybody else who couldn't be bothered to read his autobiography ever knew. I mean, the ego check! It's fashionable to be negative but this actually made my day. My DAY OFF even. Jose, I salute you.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:This is maybe only second to the "baseball-player-as-insurance-agent" bit for insult.

Not the player's fault!

Management's fault! The Yankees will not rest until Colter Bean works for State Farm! They will not release him! They will not bring him up! He's selling insurance or killing himself! Those are his options!

Fucking Ramiro Mendoza! He's slaying batters again! A veteran, even! ON THREE YANKEES WORLD SERIES WINNING TEAMS!

Fuck it, call up Scott Erickson! WTF!

Doug Mientkiewicz had anything at all to do with the Boston Red Sox 2005 World Championship.

Don't sell your White Sox short!

I would not buy a car from Jose Canseco.

vockins wrote:

Doug Mientkiewicz had anything at all to do with the Boston Red Sox 2005 World Championship.

Don't sell your White Sox short!

Only today, I saw a billboard that reminded me--holy shit! The Chicago White Sox won the World Series last year!

What a shock!

microzyma wrote:Canseco? That's not hanging on. That is a guy who obviously loves playing more than I or probably anybody else who couldn't be bothered to read his autobiography ever knew. I mean, the ego check! It's fashionable to be negative but this actually made my day. My DAY OFF even. Jose, I salute you.

Yep, nothing keeps an ex major leaguer's ego in check like using an aluminum bat.