LAD wrote:the kenny: moving to Asia to be with the woman you've always wanted to be with but coundn't be, spending the better part of a year breaking up w/ said woman in Asia, and signing a second contract w/ a Taiwanese company that keeps you in Asia approx. 10 months longer than you'd like to be (though you really have no options back in North America either).*note* I swear this isn't autobiographical. Fuck.
Just Better: Your father must attend a weeklong business convention in Las Vegas. You have some time off, so he asks you to join him. Fun times! One day, while Dad is conventioning, you walk down the Strip. For kicks, you step into a casino and put a couple of coins in the quarter slots. Ding! Ding! Ding! Lights go off and sirens sound. You've hit a three million dollar jackpot! You are whisked away by the casino staff! People are cheering for you! Three million bucks! However, and unknown to you, Nevada gaming law requires a person to be eighteen years of age in order to gamble. You are seventeen years old. You must forego your winnings. You are also threatened with legal action, but the casino security staff and police allow you to leave. As you exit the casino, you recall that your father's convention meetings are scheduled to end around 5:00pm. You are scheduled to meet him at the hotel buffet shortly thereafter.
Just Worse: You go rock climbing in a Moab canyon by yourself. Bad luck strikes, and you find yourself with an arm trapped beneath a boulder. You cannot free yourself. You have limited provisions. After two days of struggle, and with death by dehydration, starvation or exposure becoming your likely fate, you take the drastic measure of fracturing your mid-forearm. You then methodically amputate your arm by cutting through flesh, tendon and nerves with a dull pocketknife. You eventually free yourself from the trap and begin to hike out of the canyon, sans arm. After walking for about five minutes and losing copious amounts of blood, you come across a national parks ranger. "Hey!" he says. "We were just coming to get you!"
Kenny: When you see a dark-skinned guy with his shoes off at airport security, the sick and embarrassed feeling that you get knowing that he was forced to take off his shoes just because he's a dark-skinned guy.