in a conversation w/ an ex-girlfriend she makes a reference to you being "a total fucking spaz in bed"

JB: in a conversation w/ an ex-girlfriend she makes a reference to you being "just okay in bed"

JW: in a conversation w/ an ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend he makes a reference to you being "a total fucking spaz in bed"

Kenny: Roomba

junip wrote:Kenny: Roomba

JB: Asimo

JW: Boobah



Kennilingus:
This one guy you've seen over and over again in three different locations (in line for a movie in the suburbs, in line for a hotdog on clark street and in line to go to the top of the Sears' Tower) all months apart from each other. Each time you see him, he has a Yellow painter's cap that says "Hulkamaniac" and a Yellow torn undershirt that says "Hulkamaniac."

or

You have a physics TA that wears the same blue jumper every day for an entire semester. Every Day. She seems to have a slight speech impediment, so much so that you think she may be mildly retarded. This makes no sense as she is a Physics TA. You then see her, one day, in the blue jumper, skipping down the street, singing and conducting an imaginary symphony.


Faiz

You have a physics TA that wears the same blue jumper every day for an entire semester. Every Day. She seems to have a slight speech impediment, so much so that you think she may be mildly retarded. This makes no sense as she is a Physics TA. You then see her, one day, in the blue jumper, skipping down the street, singing and conducting an imaginary symphony.

JB: Out of sheer boredom, you and some friends run for Students Union council. No one else does. Upon taking office, you publish 10 000 copies of an angry manifesto with the Univ. Press. On the day they are distributed, students storm the Administration offices and occupy them. The entire University grinds to a halt. Reciprocal riots overrun neighboring campuses. In subsequent days shop and trade unions across the country form a united front with the kids. The national infrastructure collapses. Nothing makes sense. A new future seems immanent.

JW: Your band is opening for the Dandy Warhols in LA as a favor to a dying friend. Your band is called Shellac and you antagonize the audience so effectively that in the barrage of items thrown on stage, a mood-ring strikes the high e-string of your Travis Bean guitar threatening to but not breaking it.

Kenny:

Your are an Associate Professor in the Department
of Art at the State University of New York's
University at Buffalo, and a member of the
Critical Art Ensemble.

You awake at 4 am to find that your wife has suffered a cardiac arrest and died in her sleep. The police arrive and, cranked up on the rhetoric of the "War on Terror," decide your art supplies are actually bioterrorism weapons. With your wife’s body still in your bed, FBI agents arrive, abduct you without charges, seal off the entire block, and confiscate your computers, manuscripts, art supplies... and your wife’s body.


(http://www.rtmark.com/CAEdefense/)

LAD wrote:Kenny:

Your are an Associate Professor in the Department
of Art at the State University of New York's
University at Buffalo, and a member of the
Critical Art Ensemble.

You awake at 4 am to find that your wife has suffered a cardiac arrest and died in her sleep. The police arrive and, cranked up on the rhetoric of the "War on Terror," decide your art supplies are actually bioterrorism weapons. With your wife’s body still in your bed, FBI agents arrive, abduct you without charges, seal off the entire block, and confiscate your computers, manuscripts, art supplies... and your wife’s body.


(http://www.rtmark.com/CAEdefense/)

JB: You pretend to be a time traveler on a message board on the internet and you're so convincing that a few sites crop up, dedicated to discussing your predictions and prophecies, convinced that you're the real deal.

JW: You think the government is plotting against you, but you're this guy and you're really just totally insane, and probably an asshole.

Kenny: Although it was probably their lowest moment, Led Zeppelin's In Through the Out Door still warrants a listen every so often, and with each time you listen to it, you start to notice that it's probably not so bad. "If only Plant took it down a notch on this one," or "if only there was a little less synthesizer on this one, it would be a pretty damn fine song." Even Hot Dog.

Kenny: Although it was probably their lowest moment, Led Zeppelin's In Through the Out Door still warrants a listen every so often, and with each time you listen to it, you start to notice that it's probably not so bad. "If only Plant took it down a notch on this one," or "if only there was a little less synthesizer on this one, it would be a pretty damn fine song." Even Hot Dog.

j.b. somehow, you never quite liked zeppelin II as much as many other zeppelin records. zoso, phys graffitti, houses of the holy--heck, you'd rather listen to III than II. II has good songs on it, but you know, somehow its charms as an album have been eclipsed by other zeppelin records. anyway, you are listening to 'the drive' in the car one day, which is a little embarrassing b/c the djs sound like computers and their patter serves mostly to make the music they play seem like the equivalent of pet rocks, hula hoops, and mood rings. on this day, they play 'heartbreaker' off zeppelin II, and you notice that the secret great thing about 'heartbreaker' (as opposed to the obvious great things about it) is the way the band plays the very end of the verse riff. it's a little different every time. and on the verse after the solo, john paul jones plays a couple extra bass notes at the end of one of the verse riffs that sound like the greatest thing ever.

j.w. you are listening to 'the loop' one day on the car radio, and in between van halen songs they play 'what love can be' by kingdom come. all at once you are filled with joy, fear, pain, derision, laughter, and abject shame.

kenny?

bjorn borg

tmidgett wrote:kenny?

bjorn borg

just better: bjorn again (or john mcenroe. couldn't decide)

just worse: cyborg, starring jean-claude van damme


the kenny: playing a show with a band whose members are all nice folks, even though you are bored by their music.

placeholder wrote:

the kenny: playing a show with a band whose members are all nice folks, even though you are bored by their music.

just better: playing a show w/ a band whose members are all kind of jerks and whose music is pretty terrible. you get the distinct impression that they do not like you or yr band. yrs later you find out from a third party that afore mentioned band actually were big fans and are always talking you up. you have of course been bad mouthing them to any stranger who will sit still.

just worse: playing w/ a band you love and knowing that secretly, they think yr nice people, but that yr band blows




kenny: robert stack

placeholder wrote:the kenny: playing a show with a band whose members are all nice folks, even though you are bored by their music.

Just Better: You go on a first date with a girl who is nice enough. She has a pleasant smile, a casual amiability, and she seems to be quite interested in you. Unfortunately, you feel no attraction toward her, the conversation is stilted and you have nothing in common with her. She loves Dave Matthews. She's planning a "girls' trip" to Cancun. She mentions "the future". A nice enough girl, but under normal circumstances, you'd cut short the date. However, your first date is taking place at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee IL, which has some kick ass rollercoasters. You love the kick ass rollercoasters! So with the guarantee that you will give an misimpression of interest to the soon-to-be non-datee, which will only sadden her once you fail to pursue this relationship, you nonetheless overextend the date with her, if only to get in a few more turns on the "Raging Bull" and "Déjà Vu".

Just Worse: You have a sweet grandmother. She was once an excellent cook who made excellent grandmotherly food. However, age has compromised her eyesight and ability to concentrate. As a result, she is no longer especially attuned to the results of her cooking, which are now very unpleasant and, in some cases, potentially harmful.

Kenny: You meet a new girl. She's really great. Smart, beautiful, charming -- the works. She invites you over for dinner one evening. She prepares a spectacular meal. (She actually did some P.I. work by calling your friend to learn your favorite meal.) Wow. This is great. This girl is great! After dinner, the new girl asks you if you would like a beer? In fact, would you care for a Fat Tire? Hot damn! She moves to get it, but you insist on going to get it. Okay, she says, they're in the fridge in the garage. You go out to the garage, open the fridge, and voilà -- the refrigerator is filled with Clamato. Jars and jars of Clamato.

the Classical wrote:kenny: robert stack

just better: angus scrimm

just worse: julian beck


the kenny: the yamaha dx-7

the Classical wrote:kenny: robert stack

J.B.: stackmatic
J.W.: Ibanez Half Stack

Bradley has an unkennied kenny.