Bodily Noise: Farting

Funny
Total votes: 79 (74%)
Not Funny
Total votes: 28 (26%)
Total votes: 107

Farting

13
Having recently moved into a new neighborhood, my girlfriend and I were graciously invited to a small party across the street. You know, to meet the new neighbors. Brad this is Doug. Hi Doug. Hi Brad.

After some nice food and a few beers, the ladies settled into the kitchen, apparently for the sole purpose of complimenting one another on their various homemade chip dips. The gentlemen (including me) sat down to play poker in the immediately adjacent dining room. After about a half hour, I was as bored as a Mormon, and it somehow struck me as appropriate to let fly with a true window rattler. On a wooden chair.

The women were aghast. The men chuckled uncomfortably. I kept a perfectly straight face.

I won a lot of money playing poker that night.

Farting

14
ok, the euphemism "air biscuit" is funny. i'll concede to that. certain acquaintances of mine will often scramble to sit on a hard surface if they have to pass wind, to achieve the highest possible volume, something they call "down force" (a term coined by one of them in gradeschool, which apparently stuck). this is funny to me. "down force" is a funny euphemism as well, but i still don't think the act itself is funny. plus, if i'm in a room and someone does it, i assume they think it was me (even though it rarely if ever is). "must be ol' fatty over there..."

Farting

16
tmidgett wrote:
does anyone on the planet besides steve still do the 'safety' bit?


Ha!
man I haven't "safety-ed" myself before farting in a long time, it took me a minute realize what you were even talking about..classic


good enough for joyce, good enough for me: still funny

Farting

19
When I was a kid, someone would let it go in the car or something, my dad would say," Son, that's what the inside of your rectum smells like, and now the car smells like it...does that seem right to you?" It never quite did. However, safety no punch (or pokes) was a good one...and my grandfather once told me of a similar game he would play in the 20's or something called "hang a ham".

Farting

20
Oh come on now ladies and gents, there is nothing quite like the satisfaction of converting your gas from potential energy deep within your bowels to kinetic energy as it flies out your rectum and then procedes to reverberate against any ass-covering article of clothing and/or preferably a hard surface capable of not only a total lack of noise mufflage but fart amplification at well.

That was an enormous sentence.

I mean come on, you get to inflict your anal scent onto others, and if in a packed room or area you can do it stealthily and just observe the reaction.

Not crap, unless the fecal matter is shat.

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