Angus Jung wrote:Tommy Keene: You live between two sets of neighbors, who do this call and response thing pretty much every night. One neighbor yells "Hefty Hefty Hefty!!!" out his window at his full lung capacity, while the other responds right away with "Wimpy Wimpy Wimpy!!!!"

JB : you live between two nests of rival bees. but you are never caught in the crossfire, and both crews do nice things in an effort to win you over to their side. fine honey abounds.

JW : you live between two sets of neighbors who do this call and response thing pretty much every night. One neighbor yells "Arturo!!!" out her window at her full lung capacity, while the other responds right away with "Katarina!!!!"

kenny : you work in a canadian warehouse. in canada.

kenny : you work in a canadian warehouse. in canada.

j.b. dutch warehouse

j.w. british warehouse

m.b. italian warehouse--maybe to stock the olive oil and pickled garlic, wtf!

m.w. sudanese warehouse

kenny?

bert convy. lest we forget:

http://www.bertconvy.net/

kenny?

bert convy.

jb: Burt Bacharach

jw: Q*bert

The Kenny: A song you wrote is lampooned by Weird Al Yankovich.

gio wrote:The Kenny: A song you wrote is lampooned by Weird Al Yankovic.

just better: a song you wrote is covered by king diamond

just worse: a song you wrote is lampooned by adam sandler


the kenny: you are talking to a coworker in a heavily-populated breakroom. the discussion turns to parenting, and you complain of parents ignoring their children's bad behavior in public. the coworker starts talking about how he'd have never misbehaved in public, because his dad was "rough", and once punched him in the face when he was six years old.

tmidgett wrote:bert convy

This one is too good to pass up. Salut, Mr. Tim!

Just Better: Mac Davis
Just Worse: Ken Berry

I really hope that someone is on the same page with me here.

Now back to the Kennies set forth above...

This one is too good to pass up. Salut, Mr. Tim!

Just Better: Mac Davis
Just Worse: Ken Berry

I really hope that someone is on the same page with me here.

Whoa, do i ever feel young.

Ok, I'll give it another shot, but my pre-womb memory is spotty. I'll include hyperlinks for my fellow youth:

Kenny: Bert Convy (take 2)
Just Better: Neil Diamond
Just Worse: Neil Sedaka

Historikenny.

placeholder wrote:the kenny: you are talking to a coworker in a heavily-populated breakroom. the discussion turns to parenting, and you complain of parents ignoring their children's bad behavior in public. the coworker starts talking about how he'd have never misbehaved in public, because his dad was "rough", and once punched him in the face when he was six years old.

JB:You are having a conversation with three or four people in a public setting, one of which you only know casually and the rest not at all. Somehow you manage to divert this conversation to telling these strangers that you had a very close friend die in a car accident. Everyone is very polite and understanding, but you are not sure why you brought it up, so you just slink away.

JW:You meet a "new romantic interest's" mom. She seems cool and actually makes some offhanded remark on how you should keep an eye on her daughter's chest. This is mildly uneasy, but Okay. On the way out of the house on your date, because your guard is down, you make some flippant remark about the time you were so angry, you put a skateboard through a wall. Judging by the silence that follows, you assume losing your pokerface on your own temper this early in the relationship was a bad move. The best you can come up with to end the silence is: "It wasn't as gratifying as I thought it would be."


Kenny: ChimpStack!



Faiz

Angus Jung wrote:Bachelor Party: Tom Hanks, Tawny Kitaen, Zmed

Just Better: Weird Science: Robert Downey Jr., Kelly LeBrock, Bill Paxton
Just Worse: Golden Girls: Bea Arthur, Betty White, Bea Arthur

Kenny: Former Cleveland Indians LHP Chuck Finley is the ex-husband of Tawny Kitaen. The couple experienced a much-publicized domestic disturbance where Ms. Kitaen allegedly abused Mr. Finley. Shortly thereafter, Mr. Finley was scheduled to start against the Chicago White Sox at Comiskey Park. When he took the mound for his warm up pitches, a Comiskey Park staffer played Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" over the stadium public address system.

[quote]Kenny: Watching some suburbanites throw pennies at other cars from their parent's Mercedes and showering their car with a handful of dimes in an effort to balance out the humanity of karma.[/unquote]

JB: In a high school social studies project you are partnered with a wealthy classmate. He offers to give you a ride home in his (parent’s) Volvo.
On the way home, listening to NWA, he takes it upon himself to “treat you to a Blizzardâ€

LAD wrote:Kenny: While engaged in sex for the first time with a wonderful woman, the suction between your stomachs results in a perfect simulation of a shelf-rattling fart. You laugh really hard; she doesn’t so much as smile.

Just Better: A few days after this sexual encounter, you send an e-mail to this woman informing her that you have a rock show next Friday. In your e-mail, you tell her that if she comes to your place after the show, you will give her a "lick and a promise". Unfortunately, she responds unfavorably to your e-mail as she lacks any sense of irony and is completely unfamiliar with Aerosmith's "Rocks".

Just Worse: After this sexual encounter, this woman starts browsing through your video collection. She asks: "What would you like to watch?" You reply: "I don't care." After about fifteen minutes of fruitless searching, she looks at you quizzically and says in all seriousness: "What? No Mickey Rooney movies?"

Kenny: Trying to figure out how LeVar Burton was able to play the role of Kunta Kinte in "Roots" so effectively, what with considering how he's all blind and shit.