i've been having a lot of "mental health issues" this summer. things have been pretty rough. st. john's wort hasn't been much help, i'm afraid. neither has excercise or getting sun or socializing.

in fact the only thing that's done the trick for me is smoking pot, smoking pot and walking around in the cool weather late at night while thinking about art.

i'll be getting professional treatment soon.

Eierdiebe wrote:in fact the only thing that's done the trick for me is smoking pot, smoking pot and walking around in the cool weather late at night while thinking about art.

i'll be getting professional treatment soon.

Good plan. Having many of the same issues myself this year, I too have tried the "smoke pot until you forget why you are stressed out" plan. Apparently though, this plan eventually takes a bit of a toll on the immune system, which causes me even more stress while I worry about my body falling apart. Getting some actual prescribed anti-anxiety drugs, much as I am loathe to submit to them, does in fact help. Like, in a positive way. I am forced to admit that it may be the way to go.

Damn you, modern medicine! I just wanted to get high! Or something.

See, since I don't drink or do drugs (as evidenced by my "intense partying" at the T&G events) I am sorta forced to confront my blues head on.

I'm not too successful most of the time.

I forget who posted about busying yourself with purposeful things, but that's how I have dealt with my bummer periods for most of my life: burying myself in work. That's starting to lose effectiveness too.

My advice would be to get some sleep. And eat something, for God's sake. Following my recent break-up, I didn't sleep or eat for a week straight, which made me even sadder and crazier than usual. I would find myself sitting in a chair for twenty minutes at a time just staring into space and thinking of nothing. Every time I closed my eyes I would see my ex's face covered with her new man's jism (let's just say I asked too many questions about her infidelity for my own good). After a week, though, I stopped caring about my ex and got distracted by another girl, thus I sleep and eat fine now. Granted, I take over-the-counter sleeping pills to insure a good night's rest... Regardless, I feel a lot less sad than I did a week ago.

If the spambots were smart, they'd chime in on this thread....

do stuff you enjoy doing - good depression cure

Try reading this book; its been helping me through a lot. Its easy to find at your local library Im sure.

http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Rational-Li ... F8&s=books

It's 1am, and I'm not asleep. I'm a zombie because I've been able to say "it's 1am, and I'm not asleep" most of the days that make up the past few weeks. Lying in bed, I thought I might feel better if I had a glass of wine and read this thread again. Sadly, the third time reading this is not a charm.

I saw a shrink growing up but never took any medication. I stopped in my teens, but eventually had a bad episode in the service that put me back with the shrinks. Over I think 6 months, I tried effexor, paxil, zoloft, wellbutrin and celexa. I remember feeling like the paxil helped for a time but then stopped, and when I left the military I decided I didn't want anything more to do with medication. I figured that it was just sort of my lot in life and I should learn to live with it. And, for the most part, I think I did a decent job of it.

One thing I realized in therapy was that I was afraid that everything that I was trying to get rid of was, essentially, my personality. And I worried that without it I wouldn't be anybody, certainly nobody worth knowing. None of my friends are nice, happy people. In my family dynamic, I am certainly not the optimistic, care-free one. Changing everything that everyone had grown to like didn't sit well with me.

So I do my gay, little homage to A Beautiful Mind. I soldier on. If the anxiety gets too high, I go home. If I'm extra-depressed I stay home. It's worked pretty decent up until recently. I'm not sleeping too many nights a week. I'm starting to skip work, and when I'm there I'm checking electrical.com. I'm having a real hard time meeting expectations there right now.

I recently had to start going to the doctor for knee problems, and decided to go the VA way because I feel more comfortable there. About a month ago, my new doctor asked about this stuff since it peppers my medical record. I said I was fine, but wouldn't mind seeing a shrink. He got inguisitive and wanted to know why. Immediately at this point I feel like we're playing "the game." You want to talk to him, but you can't say the wrong thing or you start a chain-reaction that'll end up with you staying over-night. We barter a bit, and end up at "I feel better when I see a shrink, and it's been some time. Also, I've been having trouble sleeping." At the time I feel good about the exchange, and the more I think about it my sleeping has been getting unmanageable (this was about 6 weeks ago).

So I wait 3 weeks for my eval. Following the eval, I wait another 2 to see my new shrink. He show's up at 10:30 to our 9am appointment. I'm exhausted from not sleeping. I make it through the session. He loathes my mother. I mention wanting to take care of my sleep thing. He asks about anxiety, as most of stuff in the file reads PTSD/Depression, and I guess anxiety causes insomnia. And for whatever reason, I get defensive and resist saying I have any problem dealing with anxiety. He explains that he can't prescribe medication, but that he'll have an appointment scheduled for meto see someone who can and give me the date next week. I say ok and go.

Since I left has been hell, I'm not sleeping and I'm not slipping by. On Friday, I just did not go to work. Didn't call in, nothing. I've never done that in my life. And I knew no would notice, but it bothers me. That's not me. For a long time, I was knocking myself out with whiskey, but that stopped being terribly effective. Then I was doing it with pot for about a month, but that stopped working. So here I am, 2am in the morning thinking about everything I won't get done tomorrow, how the hell you're supposed to "casually date" someone because they just got out of a relationship and need time, and episodes of M.A.S.H, specifically the ones where the film crew would come and Hawkeye would get all deep in black and white.

I apologize, I felt like venting a little.

Well, I hope you find something that works. Funny about the conversation barter, someone described it as building a little box out of words, a little container for the meaning. People try to find out how to open it, and you try to find out how to hide the hinges/lock/whatever.

I'm up now because I have work to do that I don't want to do. At some point the idea of having no future leads to habits of not doing things.

Those episodes of M.A.S.H. will surely rile a nigga up.

I have been seeing a psychologist since October and have tried three different medications to battle mild depression as well (right now I'm on Lexapro and I don't see much of a change in my mood). To be honest with you, I think we cause most of our own problems with regards to depression. For example, I started speaking to my ex again in November and found myself slipping back into some pretty nasty patterns as a result (like screaming at her at the top of my lungs for minutes at a time). Talking to this girl again caused me a fair amount of grief and I only realize now how much time I wasted in therapy over the past two months rehashing my break-up. For weeks I have slept like shit and have wasted my sleepless nights plotting revenge against this girl who's not even in this country anymore! Long story short, we stopped contact on Sunday and I have slept fine for the past few days as a result. My point? Don't have one. Good luck!