Dear Here Come the Warm Jets,

The fisrt time I heard you I just wasn't ready. I had to build up before I could reach full comprehension.

Ben Adrian

P.S. Are you really into Piss Sex?

Dear 13 Songs,

I am sorry I burned you.

I am so, so sorry.

I'll make it up to you.

I promise.

warmest regards,

Dear Oar by Alexander "Skip" Spence,

Tom Petty keeps going around saying how much you influenced his music. I feel like a snitch, but you deserve a chance to kick his ass for saying that.

Sincerely,
Bradley R. Montebianco

When you say sing about rape, do you mean Tractor Rape Chain? Because I don't think that's about rape.

Parallel lines on the slow decline
tractor rape chain
better yet, let's all get wet
on the tractor rape chain
speed up slow down, go all around...

joelb wrote:Dear Bee Thousand by Guided By Voices

You changed the way I think about music. You are on red vinyl and you sing about elves and albatrosses and rape and mountaintops. That sounds like prog, but you're actually alright. Thank you.

joelb

dear sticky fingers,

we've had a lot of good times together since i found you at the back of a shelf in princeton. sometimes when i'm out of town, you surprise me by showing up at the most unlikely places. remember those two girls who got into a fight at that bar in louisville? me neither.


ps - why always with the crotch, huh?

Dear Terraform, Sister, Millions Now Living Will Never Die and Accelerator,

I'm sorry I haven't been in touch for a long time, guys. You see you live over on Vinyl street but CDtown is way closer and I'm too lazy to bypass your cousins on digital boulevard and make it all the way to analog terrace. I hereby vow to get in shape and walk that extra mile. Or buy a car.

Take luck,
Russell Tanx

Dear Paranoid,

You are one of my earliest childhood possesions that I still retain (second only to Winnie The Pooh that Aunt Kathryn stitched together by hand from terrycloth bathtowels).

Sometimes I buy your CD pressings over and over: The Warner Bros., The Castle with the live 18-minute long "Wicked World" bonus track, The New and Improved Castle with no bonus tracks, The New and Improved Warner Bros. that came in the big box set, etc.

No matter what, you and I know that these are all pale imposters of your true form, bequeathed to me by my Godmother when I was about Kindergarten age - the Vertigo LP. When I stand over you and stare into your revolving, hypnotic logo while that siren from "War Pigs" wails away - yeah, that's what it's all about, motherfucker.



Carlin

P.S. I'm sorry that you have brown crayon marks on your side 2 label.

My dearest Transaction de Novo,

Hey man, what's up! Tell the the family Tree says hello! Beheaded, WhatFunLifeWas, Bedhead ep, your half-sibling, that other ep, too! Good folks, you guys are! You're still my favorite, though. Salt of the earth, I say.

Anyway, how is the neighborhood? You're still next door to that Chuck Berry best-of, I see. You hit that yet? I hope you've been getting to know the Brainiacs down the street. They are really loud and kind of obnoxious, but tons of fun once you get to know them. I'm really sorry about Odelay next door. He's a total queef and I've been meaning to kick him out for awhile now.

Things have been going well for me. I just saw The End is Near and Newness Ends recently, it was good times. They speak so highly of you and say to thank you again for all you've done for them.

Hey, will you do me a favor? There's this guy named Michael Gregory Bridavsky, he lives in Indiana. He's not too keen on your family, he loves the New Years, but he met either WhatFunLifeWas or Beheaded awhile ago and totally didn't like it. He said it didn't sound good or something. He's a really cool guy, I think he would love you guys if he got to know you. Try to get him to familiarize himself with you if you can.

That's about it for now. I'm sure I'll see you soon. You know we can never go too long without getting together! It'll be so crazy!

Your man in Colorado,
Tree

Dear We Didn't See You On Sunday & Fat Elvis,

We've been doing this polygamous thing for awhile & I can say without a doubt that this is an example that polygamy works. Fat Elvis I know we met first, but you knew at some point I was going to need to bring somebody else in to spice things up. I was shocked to see how open you were to it! We Didn't See You On Sunday you bring me joy for different reasons, but you are as near and dear to my heart. I am also happy to know that both of you will soon be allowing Hot Buttered Soul into our growing family. Better start making plans for a bigger compound.

-Jeremy