steve wrote:

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:I know a guy who's fond of answering all insults with this rejoinder: "I've got a knife in my pocket that says you won't come up here and say that."

Sounds like Rat.

Rat Bastard once greeted me in D.C. by sneaking up behind me and saying "I coulda cut yer throat right then and you never woulda known it --- heh heh heh heh!"

I was standing right at the Metro stop outside Ben's Chili Bowl waiting for him to pop out of the escalator. I never saw him coming and to this day have no idea how he snuck up behind me.

If some little mallpunk spits at you because they think it's kewl, you can always respond with the Lee Ving classic "Yeah, you only spit as good as you suck, faggot, fuck you."

I know I somewhat misquoted but damn that's funny to see. Pity Fear never really did sound better than on "The Decline of Western Civilization" documentary.

yaledelay wrote:

wiggins wrote:

yaledelay wrote:I tend to counter this with something like...


"yeah, how is your band doing"

or

"my band is on tour, how is your shitty job"


I have had people want to fight me after that...

That's great, I'll remember that.

I think the words that almost started a fight were...


"my band is in a national magazine this month, how is your shitty job"


the guy who wanted to fight me was all of 5'5 140 lbs... I am much bigger...

dude, i could have taken you. admit it.

John W. wrote:So what's a good counter-heckle/comeback when someone uses the old familiar 'you suck' heckle?

"Just for that, we're playing 2 more songs than we planned to. Enjoy your evening."

"you suck!"

"so's yer mother, but i don't go around shouting it in crowded rooms."

The base of mic stands are usually pretty heavy and may hurt a noggin when placed upon one in a violent fashion.

Spitting beer also works and doesn't cause as big of a scene. Also, Alka-Seltzer foams readily from an open mouth onto the frothing masses below.

KeithV wrote:Spitting beer also works and doesn't cause as big of a scene. Also, Alka-Seltzer foams readily from an open mouth onto the frothing masses below.

May I also recommend vegetable soup.

I can't find it anywhere but I used to have a bootleg of Hendrix telling a heckler "fuck you motherfucker" with his guitar. That pretty much shut the place up I would guess.

that damned fly wrote:

yaledelay wrote:

wiggins wrote:

yaledelay wrote:I tend to counter this with something like...


"yeah, how is your band doing"

or

"my band is on tour, how is your shitty job"


I have had people want to fight me after that...

That's great, I'll remember that.

I think the words that almost started a fight were...


"my band is in a national magazine this month, how is your shitty job"


the guy who wanted to fight me was all of 5'5 140 lbs... I am much bigger...

dude, i could have taken you. admit it.

I don't know man, I had a knife in my pocket...

KeithV wrote:The base of mic stands are usually pretty heavy and may hurt a noggin when placed upon one in a violent fashion.

Spitting beer also works and doesn't cause as big of a scene. Also, Alka-Seltzer foams readily from an open mouth onto the frothing masses below.

yeah a spit in the eye tends to not shut some people up though, does it keef?