Really bothers me when people buy cheap toilet paper, it's like wiping my ass with sandpaper.

At my old job, I used to steal toilet paper as well as garbage bags and the occasional bottle of soap for use at home.

It wasn't soft, but it was free.

I can never remember what kind I buy. I just grab whatever packaging grabs my eye - sometimes it's a soft, cuddly baby, other times, light, fluffy clouds.

What I've got now is total CRAP. It falls apart when you use it and leaves all sorts of asscrack lint. It's enough to make you want to NOT CRAP. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

If I had more money, I'd use baby wipes exclusively.

Think about it: if you got feces on your arm, you'd probably want to use soap and water to clean it off. Why should your ass be any different?

If I had even more money, I'd buy a house with a couple of bidets.

A timely topic.

I was at a city festival in Boise today. While there, I found myself in severe gastrointestinal distress due to some bad sweet and sour chicken.

Unfortunately, my Port-O-Let in this particular storm was not up to snuff. A few of the problems:

(i) The Port-O-Let had a seat covered in piss thanks to the woman who exited the john before me. I assume that she had "hovered" and did not "care";

(ii) The Port-O-Let was within about fifty feet of the mainstage speakers. Onstage? A dipshit hippie band that was playing an awful (and extended) version of The Grateful Dead's "Franklin's Tower" ("roll away the dew...");

and, most importantly,

(iii) The Port-O-Let featured the weakest toilet paper that I have ever seen. It made airline toilet paper look like a Four Seasons beach towel.

However, I understood why that cheap toilet paper was there. Given that there are people in this world who will steal anything -- even toilet paper -- that isn't nailed to the floor, the Port-O-Let company is just acting rationally. People are less likely to steal cheap toilet paper, and it's less of a cost hit if stolen, so they put out cheap toilet paper.

So, to Ms. Hovering, street fair jam bands and anyone who has at any time stolen toilet supplies from a public restroom, please know that you all contributed to making my day just a little bit worse than it had to be.

Now let's all get back to our race to the bottom.

P.S. Incidentally, I saw Built To Spill at this same festival last night, and it was a magical show! It really was! I wish that you all could have seen this show on a cool autumn night at the base of the foothills with the beautiful crowd!

I'm one of those douchebags who will, on occasion, go and buy ONE roll of toilet paper. The last time I did this, the guy at the corner store said to me "Hey- ya tryin' to quit?"

Buying cheap bog roll is a classic - if not THE classic - examle of false economy. You just have to use more of it. It make no sense.

"purchase choice: people who buy cheap toilet paper"

. . . I hate buying people who buy cheap toilet paper. In fact, I've never done it. Buying a person to purchase menial household items for me does sound intriguing though.

My life sucks as it is, and one of the few peacefull times i have to myself is dropping the brownies off at the pool. Selfish fucks who try to save a few pennies at my assholes expense need to be sent to a reeducation camp. If you buy cheap toilet paper you are worthless.

The Lady believes in buying the cheap kind of TP in bulk. So I just stash a blue box of flushables behind 4 roles of the on-deck TP.