connor wrote:

rocker654 wrote:Did the "trucker who raped an entire town" idea go anywhere? This blue-sky thread is cornfusing me.

You mean Big Rig? Currently in post.

kerble wrote:I call it: Triple Double Trouble.

steve wrote:I'm pitching, I'm pitching already.

Remember how big the Malkovich movie was? With a real movie star in a movie about him? Remember how big that movie was?

Okay. It's 1980-something. Mickey Rourke is getting a little hot, but still obviously an idiot, and does mostly bad films. Mostly shit that Bruce Willis already passed on. Or shit where he bangs a hot unknown. And he's bitter about it, and is jealous and totally resents Bruce Willis for getting all the choice movies and real high-class pussy.

This is all in the movie. Maybe opening scroll, like Star Wars. "In 1980-something, Bruce Willis, while still an idiot, was getting a little hot..." you get the idea. So in the movie, Bruce Willis and Rourke are pals. Mickey Rourke is always complaining that he only gets shit Willis passed on already, etc. All that shit I just told you.

Here's the kicker: Bruce Willis in the movie is played by Mickey Rourke, and Mickey Rourke is played by Bruce Willis. So they get to be real bitches about mocking each other in their performances.

I am so fucking good at this. You'll agree in a moment.

In the movie, "Willis" (Mickey Rourke) -- I'm finger quoting because it gets confusing -- tells "Rourke" (Bruce Willis) he needs to man-up and stop taking all these bullshit movies just because he gets to bang a hot unknown. He should tell his agent not to consider any bullshit movies that were offered to him ("Willis") first. "Rourke" has a big meeting with his agent and tells him no more movies they offered to "Willis" first. He's a real prick about it too.

So one day, "Willis" gets a pitch for a movie where he gets to play Mickey Rourke and Mickey Rourke gets to play him. Basically the movie I'm talking about now. He says no, it's too gimmicky.

Undeterred, the producer takes it to "Rourke's" guy, and there's a whole thing about how "Willis" already said "no," and the thing before... Too much detail, whatever, you see what's coming. "Rourke" has to talk "Willis" into it, and he's begging and pathetic, and you can see how much Willis would love to play that part, right?

So finally they do it. Now we see them making the movie, and they have to mimic each other's mimicry of each other from the first half of the movie, and fuck me, I am so good at this.

There will definitely be a scene where "Bruce Willis" gets to fuck the shit out of Demi Moore, otherwise Rourke won't do it. We'll get some hot unknown to play Moore.

In the movie-movie they have a big argument about having a scene where "Rourke" (Willis) playing movie-"Willis" gets to fuck the shit out of movie-"Demi Moore," because in the movie-movie, they want "Demi Moore" to play herself, and movie-"Willis," ("Rourke") (Willis) will definitely be trying to stick it in her, pretending he's "acting."

You'll agree that I am so good at this it's ridiculous.

gcbv wrote:
Everybody in a movie, all actors, are playing the part of Joe Don Baker, EXCEPT one actor, who is of course, Joe Don Baker.

kerble wrote:so Arnold Schwarzennegger plays a set of identical twin cops (stay with me) set on defeating a terrorist crime boss, also played by Arnold Schwarzennegger, who is their father. Basically with three Arnolds in the movie, it writes itself. 98 minutes of one liners that we can either pilfer from Twins, Kindergarten Cop, the Sixth Day or whatever other film. minimal work, maximum payout, especially considering he hasn't done much film work since his Gubernatorial run.


consider these snippets:

Arnold beats a man to death with his own phone: "It's for you!!"

Arnold stabs a man with an umbrella in the guts: "Don't You know it's not safe to open an umbrella..." [opens umbrella] "...Inside?"

the climax of the movie is when the two Arnolds finally get into the complex where the third Arnold is hiding out:

Arnold throws a rolling office chair at the evil Arnold : "Have a Seat!"
Evil Arnold rolls down the hallway throws grenade at good Arnolds: "Welcome to Granada!!"
Evil Arnold rolls into the open elevator door and produces a detonation device: "Going Down?!?!"

[a whole building collapses]

three Arnolds pull themselves out of the rubble and face/off: "I Think we are going to be having a Three-Peat."


or whatever. shit I could finish the script tonight in maybe two hours.

I call it: Triple Double Trouble.

gcbv wrote:PAULY SHORE and JON CRYER are two stoner idiots from a small town who keep getting into random trouble (set fire to a barn while trying to make out with a hot farmer's daughter, run their car into the A & P while trying to find a burning roach on the floorboard).

The town council votes to send these two dum-dums to the US ARMY, namely to IRAQ.

The teaser shows these two driving a tank through a check point, running over pedestrians, stealing a car when they get the munchies and realizing it's a car bomb, wacky physical hijinks as they fumble through getting shot at by a sniper (named "More Mullah"), who is frustrated that he can't take these two morons out.

it's called?

SUPPORT OUR DOOFS!

rocker654 wrote:

connor wrote:

rocker654 wrote:Did the "trucker who raped an entire town" idea go anywhere? This blue-sky thread is cornfusing me.

You mean Big Rig? Currently in post.

Man, now that's fast-tracking.

kerble wrote:so Arnold Schwarzennegger plays a set of identical twin cops (stay with me) set on defeating a terrorist crime boss,...I call it: Triple Double Trouble.