Marsupialized wrote:so the vet and my wife have decided that I am an asshole...
Quoted for truthiness.
And as far as your fat fucking cat I have two suggestions.
1) Diet. You can get food for fat ass cats. Try to find something with a good amount of protein and low amounts of ash and magnesium. Lots of water and wet food, not so much crunchies. Don't put food out all day.
2) Daily workouts. Find something that the big fat fucker wants to do. Kitty fisher, bath tub games, milk jug plastic seal thingies, cat nip (in small amounts), ball and string, bounce the ball against the wall, etc. I find that the bath tub games are best because it's something that they can do without your help. Kitty fishing is a little involved.
Hope that helps.