53
by Wood Goblin_Archive
My first band, which I formed with my brother and a friend in the 6th grade, was called The Strange Cow Molesters. We would write lyrics on our own (sample: "Syphilis / what a friendly disease / syphilis / it rots from your dick to your knees") and then shout them into a microphone when we "practiced," which consisted of making a lot of noise. We were probably better than early Pussy Galore.
My first band to actually play shows (at the high school!) was called The Pine Weasles, and we were terrible. I played bass, and I knew even then we were terrible. Our singer, who couldn't sing, wrote songs with titles like "Hippie Woman Child." Another song opened with the line "Sitting on the barstool again." Ah, yes, all those memories of sitting on the bar stool while 16 years old! The guitarist absolutely could not play at all, yet he refused to switch instruments for even one song.
The drummer (Jay) and my brother formed a little side project called Nasal Sex Drive, who played Flipper-esque songs, albeit badly and uninterestingly. Yet we were still better than Pussy Galore!