Kaiser Chiefs: FUCK OFF!

Sunday supplement middlebrow lifestyle options: FUCK OFF!

Retards who spit in the street for no reason: FUCK OFF!

Cunts who insist on driving their kids to school in a car so that a journey to work which should take 20 minutes takes almost an hour: FUCK OFF!

Middle management spunk chuggers talking about 'positive changes' and 'personal development': FUCK OFF!

Mobile phone users: FUCK OFF!

Passive, yawning indifference: FUCK OFF!

Networking, it's not who you are it's who you know 'artists': FUCK OFF!

People who are 'heartbroken' after splitting up with somebody, but then start seeing someone else within a few weeks: FUCK OFF!

Physically attractive people who look at you like you're a disgusting piece of shit if you should so much as glance at them: FUCK OFF!

'Free Folk' scene: FUCK OFF!

Feelings of shame, disgust and inadequacy in relation to the opposite sex: FUCK OFF!

Brand new LP, with corners bumped due to shit packaging: FUCK OFF!

Everyone in the UK, with the exception of about five people, being a ridiculous class stereotype: FUCK OFF!

'Property Ladder': FUCK OFF!

'The Culture Show': FUCK OFF!

Vashti Bunyan song in a TV Advert: FUCK OFF!

Oscars: FUCK OFF!

Razorlight and The Zutons can both: FUCK OFF!

Russell Crowe: FUCK OFF!

my laziness: fuck off. really. fuck the fuck off.

People that walk and talk slowly because they are fucking sloths can fuck right off.

White pants can fuck right off.

This so-called winter can fuck right off.

"Small talk" can fuck right off.

Parents who are fundamentally unwilling to work to improve their kids' grades can fuck right off.

The guy downstairs who verbally abuses his wife most every night in a language I don't speak can fuck right off.

Creepy ponytail-earring guy at work who tells me not to use the microwave to make food because he doesn't like the smell of pasta??: FUCK OFF!

Isabelle Gall wrote:Brand new LP, with corners bumped due to shit packaging: FUCK OFF!

Please allow me to also add:

Brand new CD, with the tray's center spindle things all broken due to shit packaging (and non-replaceable because it's FUCKING GLUED TO CARDBOARD in a shit Digipak® design): FUCK OFF!

Or, for brevity's sake, simply:

Digipak®: FUCK OFF!

flavored coffee: fuck off

limp waffles that have gotten cold: fuck off

people who have no sense of art museum etiquette, especially those from Boston: fuck off

rich people and their "crises": fuck off

baltimore pimps: fuck off

anti-intellectuals: fuck off

people who litter: fuck off

ann coulter: fuck off

hillary clinton: fuck off

john mc cain: fuck off

bill o'reilly: fuck off

john kerry: fuck off

microsoft: fuck off

DRM: fuck off

snow that never melts: fuck off

global warming: fuck off

frank lutz: fuck off

suv's: fuck off

disney movies: fuck off

johnny depp: fuck off

keanu reeve's acting teachers: fuck off

gibson guitars with cracked headstocks: fuck off

playing music "for the kids": fuck off

tube amps with crackly volume problems: fuck off

solid state amps that sound like ass: fuck off

taco bells with rats in them: fuck off

taco bell-kfc-pizza hut combo restaurants: fuck off

starbucks in safeway: fuck off

penguin shirts not on sale at least 75% off: fuck off

blown EV15ML speakers: fuck off

swamp butt: fuck off

flat feet: fuck off

body odor: fuck off

stinky feet: fuck off

stale cherrios: fuck off

granola with flax seeds: fuck off

chub rub: fuck off

eating too much pasta: fuck off

nacho cheese sauce after it has gotten cold: fuck off

rotel + velvetta: fuck off

people who keep siamese fighting fish in plastic cups: fuck off

ferrets: fuck off

gold hardware on guitars or drums: fuck off

purple tolex: fuck off

that floor metal covering on mesa boogie heads: fuck off

drum racks: fuck off

more than four toms: fuck off

really small cymbals: fuck off

teal colored basses with five strings: fuck off

dressing like a crusty punk and playing indie pop: fuck off

those huge earrings that leave a giant hole in your earlobe: fuck off

that fucking toe fungus cartoon on that commercial that crawls out from under that yellow toenail: fuck off

rachael ray: fuck off

sandra lee: fuck off

staying in california for another 2 to 3 months before going back to chicago: Fuck Off!

bay area's rain/fog: Fuck Off!

silicon valley: Fuck Off!

sucky ass california pizza: Fuck Off!

u-haul: Fuck Off!

bay area punks: Fuck Off!

thug ass wannabe neighbors: Fuck Off!

gas $3.10: Fuck Off!

record store too far away: Fuck Off!

hard core kids in this bar: Fuck Off!

fake mexican food: Fuck Off!

White Sox not playing the A's in Oakland until like August: Fuck Off!

can't record shit for now: Fuck Off!

car's fucked up clutch: Fuck Off!

I am not interested in playing bizarre sadistic sexual little games with you, Nihil.

crap job: fuck off

crap people at crap job: fuck off


crap people at coffee shop: fuck off

crap people driving down the street flipping ME off for trying to cross: fuck off

little shitters with the bass to fucking loud: fuck off

local suburban news: fuck off

Base fare--$2.00: fuck off

Those people who believe music (at least partly) is about dressing up in the style of the scene they "support": FUCK OFF!