otto (looking at finger): oh right......i married that chick.

otto (leaving "stoner's pot palace"): that is flagrant false advertising!

nelson (leaving a screening of "naked lunch"): i can think of at least two things wrong with the name of that movie.

In the Mr. Plow episode when the deliquent account guy from Kumatsu motors calls.

Homer: Oh you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow, you know, from Leave It To Beaver. Yeah they were gay.


Homer to Lisa when she's trying to let Ralph down easy: And if that doesn't work, six simple words: I'm not gay but I'll learn.

Bart to psychiatrist: "and then I had this dream that my whole family was just cartoon characters, and our success had led to some crazy propaganda network called Fox News!"

homer: do you have any sugar?

hank scorpio: (reaches into pockets pulls out handfuls of sugar and dumps them into homer's coffee) sorry it's not in packets. would you like any cream?

homer: uh...no.

Deprogramming guy: I did get Paul McCartney out of Wings ...

Homer: You idiot! He was the most talented one!

A sign on the wall at the airport:
Air India : We treat you like cattle.

Grampa Simpson: Oh poop in your fist!

Mason Fairbanks: At least I can make both.

"replace 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and 'dog' with 'son'"

andyk

Bart's warehouse collapses and hordes or rats swarm across the street into Moe's. Without missing a beat, Moe calmly says "Alright, everybody tuck your pants into your socks."