Mr. Burns: Why, you're very agreeable today, Simpson.

Homer: Yes, sir. I am.

That cracked me up.

davesec wrote:

goosman wrote:

davesec wrote:I'M DICK TRACEY, TAKE THAT (pushes kid)
NOW I'M PRUNE FACE, LOOK AT ME!! (pushes kids)
NOW I'M PRUNE TRACEY, HA! (pushes kid)
NOW I'M

doctor interrupts

i missed the joke the first time i saw it.

I guess I'm slow....I still don't get the joke.

However, this thread is fun and several of my faves have already been mentioned.

i think the joke is that the next thing ned was going to say was NOW I'M DICKFACE!!!

You've got it all wrong.

Young Ned says: "I'm Dick Tracy - take that Pruneface! Now I'm Pruneface - take that Dick Tracy! Now I'm Prune Tracy - take that----"

And the doctor interupts him because he was about to say Dickface.

I know all this transpired ages ago, but I was bored and i read through this whole thread again.

Editor: Now, Homer, we need a food critic that doesn't immediately "poo-poo" everything he eats.

Homer: Yeah, that takes a few hours.

Maaaax Powerrr
he's got the naaaame you want to touuuch
but you must'nt touuuuch!
His name sounds good in your ear
but when you say it, you mustn't fear!
cause his name can be said by aaanyooone!

“lady, he’s putting my kids through college!”

I think I just logged onto my inner-net.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.

Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend!

______________________________________________


Homer: Revenge? On Mr. Burns?

Lenny: Mm. Send him magazine subscriptions he don't want!

Moe: Or give him some face time with sweet lady brick!

______________________________________________


Lenny: "There's nothin' like revenge for gettin' back at people."

Carl: "I dunno - vengeance is pretty good."

______________________________________________


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal!

______________________________________________


Troy McClure: Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

______________________________________________


Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?

Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.

Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.

Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup there, homeboy?

Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.

Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.

Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.

Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.

Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

Homer: Bart, go to your room.

______________________________________________


Ralph Wiggum: Hi Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

______________________________________________


Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

______________________________________________


Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

______________________________________________


Homer: Hey, how come you never play your guitar any more?

Bart: I'll tell ya the truth, Dad. I wasn't good at it right away, so I quit. I hope you're not mad.

Homer: Son, come here! Heh heh heh... Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing! You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch TV.

______________________________________________


When Bart wants an electric guitar, he dreams of being a rock star:

Bart: I'd loik to play me latest chaht-toppah. It's called, "Me Fans Are Stupid Pigs."

Cut to backstage, Bart is lying on his back, drooling, all fucked-up.

Milhouse: "You've changed, man!''

Bart throws a glass bottle at him, then passes out.

Then he returns to reality.

Bart: "COOL!!!"

______________________________________________


Otto is being reprimanded for crashing the school bus.

Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.

______________________________________________


Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.



I know a lot of those were from the same couple episodes, but they both were just on recently so it's fresh in my mind.

when krusty touches that clock with his face on it and burns his finger and yells out

man: oh, i forgot to warn you, that clock gets incredible hot

krusty (sucking on his finger): it's fine... all this stuff is fine.