I didn't go to either of mine.
What did I miss?

I didn't go either. I think I rode my bike instead.

I don't know what we missed, but I have a pretty good idea. I saw all the kids out the other day, they were eating at the hard rock cafe.

CRAP

I, heroically, missed it too.

I went alone, but I missed every other High School dance.

Neither of my parents went.

For junior prom I just went out to the Spyhouse restuarant in Milwaukee with some friends for dinner. The girls got kinda dolled up but the guys, we were mostly wearing street clothes. I was sporting an antique cowboy shirt which I still hold dear to this day.

i went with the same girl both years. we were good friends. she probably had a thing for me but i didn't act on it.

here's what you missed at junior prom: i don't remember the actual "dance," but i remember afterwards a group of us went over to my good friend's house where we all smoked a ton of pot with his older brother. for some of my friends, it was their first time. it was a nice bonding experience. then we went to the regular post-prom party we were supposed to be attending. by the time we got there, two girls were already passed out drunk and there were lots of vomit piles in the girl's backyard. the mother of the household got angry and locked us all in the basement for the night. one of my friends got a blowjob from my prom date. the next morning about 15 of us went out for pancakes at a local eatery, and we met the martin brodeur, who was there with his family. i slept the rest of the day.

senior prom: went with the same girl again. earlier that day i had a really embarrassing parent/principal meetin,g so when i bumped into the principal at the "dance" i had to pretend i was thankful he didn't discipline me for something i didn't do. he didn't seem amused by my obviously feigned sincerity. about half-way through the "dance," people started leaving for the weekend. post-prom was 2 nights/3 days at the jersey shore at a shitty, cheap motel. i hung out mostly with the girl who would become my girlfriend for the next few years, smoked a lot of pot and drank a lot. one of my friends passed out on the beach and almost got arrested when a beach cop stumbled upon him. we went to a water park. some people got sick, others got into a fight and left.


in other words, it was just like the rest of high school. awkwardness, drama, and mousy girls who want nothing more than male attention. you didn't miss ANYTHING.


as a side note: i recently had a conversation with someone who lives in the neighborhood where my mother resides. she was out walking her dog, and i knew she had a son who was in high school. i asked what he was doing for the summer and how far along he was in school. she told me he was in puerto rico for the weekend, because it was prom.

what the fuck!? when did kids start getting so spoiled!?

Christopher J. McGarvey wrote:I didn't go to either of mine.
What did I miss?

You missed making the foolhardy decision to take your ex-girlfriend to the prom.

You missed spilling red wine all over your white tuxedo before even reaching the dance and having to reverse how you stood with your date in the prom photographs (the opposite of how everybody else stood) in order to obscure the huge red stains.

You missed having your date dance most of the night with another guy in your senior class who she'd secretly been macking on and consoling yourself by consuming the entire bottle of cheap champagne she'd smuggled in via her parasol.

You missed making foolhardy decision #2: grabbing beers from the trunk of your mom's car before leaving the parking lot of the dance and getting two cases of beer, two 4-packs of wine coolers, and a bottle of vodka confiscated by the po-lice, who for some reason allowed you to drive out of there even though you were visibly trashed.

You missed making foolhardy descision #3: selecting a cheap-ass motel to party in all night--the same cheap-ass motel that had been selected by a shitload of bikers in town for some kind of race.

You missed seeing an acquaintance covered in blood from having been beaten up by said bikers after he'd mistaken their room for yours and pounded on their door, shouting, "Let me in, you faggots!"

You missed laughing in this guy's face as he tearfully attempted to rally your friends to enact vengeance on the bikers.

You missed making excellent descision #1: abandoning your date to her own devices with regard to getting home as you stumbled into a room that boasted a bunch of black dudes from your football team and more cocaine than you'd ever seen in your seventeen years.

Didn't go, can't remember what I did instead. Saved a whole lot of money, for one. No regrets.

Crap!

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:
most amazing prom story ever

If I had gone to a high school for normal kids, instead of one that nurtured nerds, I still wouldn't have had as good a time as Brett apparently did.

Fuck, I didn't even date in high school.

I went to three proms.

Prom #One as a sophomore. This girl Radha had no date for the prom, so my friend Kim hooked us up so she didn't have to go to her senior prom stag. I had to fill out a "character form" and have all my teachers write recommendations so I could go to prom. Whatever. Got it done, went to the prom. Didn't have to spend too much past the tux, went with a bunch of rich friends. During prom, my "date" left me, I went back with my party to Kim's house, and I got the most fucked up I've ever been in my life. Jello shots, bourbon, Guinness, PBR, vodka, everything I could get my hands on. Then came the pot, which incapacitated me. I ended up puking in front of about 45 people and passing out in the driveway. I was left there until morning when my friend Tim put me in my car where I slept until about noon, when I went home. My dad went out to my car for something while I was showering and found a bowl under my seat and an empty bottle of miller. Don't ask me what the fuck happened, but I was in deep shit for the first and only time in my life.

Prom #1 = Crap.

Prom #2 was with my girlfriend at the time, who was the first girl I was ever completely head over fucking premier rock heels for. Her and I along with a few of her friends had a really nice (expensive) dinner downtown. We went to the prom, didn't stay for very long, then went to my best friend Mike's party at his house (funnily enough, he was Kim's little brother). We partied, she and her friend Amanda got decently drunk, and started getting hit on by these dumb ass kids, which to my sensitively drunk ass, was a direct threat. We hung for a while longer, went back to Amanda's, got a little more drunk, me and the lady fooled around a bit, and then I went home.

Prom #2 = Not crap WF:5.

Prom #3 was by far the most ridiculous and amazing and shitty at the same time. Went with a bunch of rich kids I knew who were all dating 21+ dudes who were incredibly funny. I got roped in once again so my date didn't have to go stag. Anyways, we were in a Mercedes Benz van limo thing, where we tipped the driver to stop off at a liquor store. He was this really awesome black dude who was funny as shit, I think his name was Trevor. Anyways, we got a bunch of alcohol and got smashed. Went to the prom, where I was fucking insanely drunk. Not sick drunk, but fucking happy, touchy, feely, horny drunk. I kept grabbing people out of dances and shit, telling any dude that looked at me funny that he was a fucking cunt...etc. Made out with my date's friend who was stag and willing to give some lip on the dance floor. The best part of this night was when I saw the valedictorian, this incredibly bright and really quite beautiful girl who I had had this thing with at the beginning of the year. She and I dated for a bit and it was really good, but her parents didn't let her see me after a while because I didn't have aspirations to go to med school or some shit like that, and I wasn't good enough for their little girl. She starting dating this military kid who ended up the salutorian, but she would occasionally chat with me about how much he sucked. Long story short: So we see each other at the prom, get to talking, I'm hammered, I'm blunt, I kiss her, she kisses me back, her boyfriend sees it, gets mad, leaves her there, I tell her to come with us, my date is pissed, I tell her to go quit her shit because it's not like we're dating and I'm just doing her a favor, the driver drops us off at Whitney's (valedictorian's best friend's house), we go to some room, I take her virginity, we cuddle for a while, she decides I should go so she doesn't have to neglect her friends, I call my friend Justin, he picks me up, we head to the party where the folks I was originally with ended up, and I proceed to talk to a bunch of people about politics and how much mainstream music sucks

Not crap with a waffle factor of four considering the fact that I would've never have acted like that given what I know now. That goes for all of the proms I was at. So keep your judgements in check, because I condemn my actions at all three proms and in no way condone them now.

Some cool times, and some really really shitty times.

I abstain.