1. Flaming Lips
2. Cat Power
3. System of a Down (or have they pressed their own button already?)
Smite 3 Bands.
162MxPx
A Simple Plan
The White Stripes (Scottish friend of mine calls 'em the Shite Wipes)
A Simple Plan
The White Stripes (Scottish friend of mine calls 'em the Shite Wipes)
Smite 3 Bands.
163Andrew L. wrote:Press a magic button and three currently existing bands are no more. What three bands do you excise and why would it make the world a less crappy place?
Lists are universally boring. Please to note the second clause for the more funny.
Smite 3 Bands.
165Live - they are self righteous asswipes
Stevie Ray Vaughn - ba-ba-blows
Snow Patrol - shut the fuck up
honorable smite- AFI - my god is this gae
Stevie Ray Vaughn - ba-ba-blows
Snow Patrol - shut the fuck up
honorable smite- AFI - my god is this gae
mycanadiangirlfriend.com
Smite 3 Bands.
166Sum 41 - Talentess losers. Need I say more? No, I needn't.
Nickelback - Someone give those retards their goddamn nickel back so they'll shut up already.
The White Stripes - You know, this band sucks so bad that I don't give a fuck if they're husband and wife, brother and sister, ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend, symbiotic co-dependents... She's an awful drummer who couldn't keep a beat to save her life and he's a smarmy little jackanape who needs a good asskicking. Did I mention that their music sucks donkey dong?
Smashmouth - Just complete, undiluted crap. 'You're An All-Star,' eh? How about 'You're an Arsehole'?
Ja Rule - This weaselly little fuckwad is trying to convince us he's an actor now, like most rappers are trying to do. What kinds of roles is he really capable of playing? A street thug? A tough ghetto cop with a heart of tarnished gold? Surprise, surprise. He sucks ass. He should disappear.
Dave Matthews Band - They emptied their tour bus sewage into the Chicago River while passing over a bridge, and inadvertently dumped their nasty piss and shit all over a bunch of suburban tourists in a sightseeing boat. That was the single thing they ever accomplished that even approaches awesomeness. But then... they apologized!!! WTF? The worst part, they apologized AFTER already paying their fine to the city! What a bunch of fucking weaksauce pussies. That's enough reason right there to hate their guts, but I'll always hate them for their inexcusably lame music.
Foreigner - Totally classic commercial shit rock. Or is that totally commercial, shit classic rock? Same difference I guess.
The Spin Doctors - Despite their politically-inspired band name, their music and message is about as subversive and challenging as a Merrill Lynch TV ad.
Hall & Oates - The guys who made being a total wimp-ass pussy boy acceptable to the masses.
Any post-addiction-recovery Aerosmith - They traded in their self-destructive lifestyles for a superstar career built on songs fashioned around cliche expressions. I mean, the lyrics to every single one of their songs is a damn cliche! I'm happy they're off dope, but let's face it, nowadays their music tongues hippopotamus anus.
The Little River Band - Gimme a fuckin' break. More music for eunuchs.
Bon Jovi - Total fuck-knuckle. "Wanted, Dead Or Alive"? Howabout just dead.
Huey Lewis and the News - I'm really fucking pissed off at myself right now for even remembering this horrible, horrible band, that sucked so many kinds of bad. God Damn! When I think the mainstream rock of today sounds bad, all I have to do is remember Huey Lewis and his 50-something face on MTV singing saccharine pop about being a teenager...I think I'm going to go take a huge shit right now.
Damn, so much horrible music, I could even stand to hear some Avril Levigne...
Life's too short to listen to crap... KEEP MUSIC EVIL!
Nickelback - Someone give those retards their goddamn nickel back so they'll shut up already.
The White Stripes - You know, this band sucks so bad that I don't give a fuck if they're husband and wife, brother and sister, ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend, symbiotic co-dependents... She's an awful drummer who couldn't keep a beat to save her life and he's a smarmy little jackanape who needs a good asskicking. Did I mention that their music sucks donkey dong?
Smashmouth - Just complete, undiluted crap. 'You're An All-Star,' eh? How about 'You're an Arsehole'?
Ja Rule - This weaselly little fuckwad is trying to convince us he's an actor now, like most rappers are trying to do. What kinds of roles is he really capable of playing? A street thug? A tough ghetto cop with a heart of tarnished gold? Surprise, surprise. He sucks ass. He should disappear.
Dave Matthews Band - They emptied their tour bus sewage into the Chicago River while passing over a bridge, and inadvertently dumped their nasty piss and shit all over a bunch of suburban tourists in a sightseeing boat. That was the single thing they ever accomplished that even approaches awesomeness. But then... they apologized!!! WTF? The worst part, they apologized AFTER already paying their fine to the city! What a bunch of fucking weaksauce pussies. That's enough reason right there to hate their guts, but I'll always hate them for their inexcusably lame music.
Foreigner - Totally classic commercial shit rock. Or is that totally commercial, shit classic rock? Same difference I guess.
The Spin Doctors - Despite their politically-inspired band name, their music and message is about as subversive and challenging as a Merrill Lynch TV ad.
Hall & Oates - The guys who made being a total wimp-ass pussy boy acceptable to the masses.
Any post-addiction-recovery Aerosmith - They traded in their self-destructive lifestyles for a superstar career built on songs fashioned around cliche expressions. I mean, the lyrics to every single one of their songs is a damn cliche! I'm happy they're off dope, but let's face it, nowadays their music tongues hippopotamus anus.
The Little River Band - Gimme a fuckin' break. More music for eunuchs.
Bon Jovi - Total fuck-knuckle. "Wanted, Dead Or Alive"? Howabout just dead.
Huey Lewis and the News - I'm really fucking pissed off at myself right now for even remembering this horrible, horrible band, that sucked so many kinds of bad. God Damn! When I think the mainstream rock of today sounds bad, all I have to do is remember Huey Lewis and his 50-something face on MTV singing saccharine pop about being a teenager...I think I'm going to go take a huge shit right now.
Damn, so much horrible music, I could even stand to hear some Avril Levigne...
Life's too short to listen to crap... KEEP MUSIC EVIL!
Last edited by Colonel Panic_Archive on Fri May 25, 2007 11:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
Smite 3 Bands.
167A Brit special!
Cream
Sunshine Of Your Love: I like this song, I give you that. It has the first riff that I ever learned as a brat, and Robert de Niro looks most smoky to the song in Goodfellaz. And my father would miss you.
So it is with heavy heart that I smite you.
For being one of the first "Supergroups".
For playing very dull improvisations for many long minutes pulling silly faces.
For creating some of those silly faces in the first place - Clapton, I am trying not to look at you here. The dumb-orgasm mug that launched a billion dumb-orgasm mugs, all leaning back with their eyes closed as they fiddle with their instruments. This is bad for babies' eyes. Begone.
For the cult of Clapton, the many guitarists who followed, all soloing as if they wanted to be thrown fish, as Rimbaud III eloquently put it.
And leading on from that, all subsequent Eruptions, and the covers of almost any guitar magazine ever printed.
For squandering the all-too brief moments of glorious noise and aggression that I heard on whatever live album my father played me in the car.
And for being so serious in committing all of these bad things.
Angus Jung gave me this insight into this badness:
Shame on your cowardice! Away!
The Jam
You are the easiest on this list. I have no sentiment for you, apart from a fondness for That's Entertainment. But to live without that song is perfectly achievable. I need not change my daily habits so much to lose that song.
In three syllables: Paul Weller.
Your voice and the touch of mockney has been a consistent irritating influence in indie bar bands that I keep being exposed to.
Likewise, some of your more cheap ska-like inflections.
You made Wild Wood.
You brought out the worst trad rock mannerisms in Noel Gallagher, whose band occasionally showed some rocket fueled cocaine brilliance.
Dad Rock, daddio.
Disappear, foul progenitor!
The Stone Roses
This is the hardest, because I love you greatly, your first album is still one of my favourites, ever since I was a mucky moody teenager.
But so much bad has come from you! So many British bands now try to live up to your own unique cockiness, but without your class. There was only one Ian Brown, but a million Liam Gallaghers, all as dumb and arrogant as their neighbour. I went to school with your progeny, I know how corrosive such misplaced self-belief in being a Star can be.
How tired and sad am I when I see yet another bunch of fresh faces stating with bright eyes how they are "the best" and that they "really mean it, man." Confident Mancunians, you created this poor children.
I thought that your first record was exquisite. Delicately balanced, it brought to mind nostalgic glories, but was not itself nostalgic or retrogressive. I tip my imaginary hat to you for this mean trick. It sounded like magic to this youngster...
But it encouraged the mud-brained pillage of '60's novelty that engulfed British music in the '90's. Your well-imagined licks were hamfistedly transformed into porridge by your wannabe followers.
The Stone Roses, I am sorry: smitten.
Cream
Sunshine Of Your Love: I like this song, I give you that. It has the first riff that I ever learned as a brat, and Robert de Niro looks most smoky to the song in Goodfellaz. And my father would miss you.
So it is with heavy heart that I smite you.
For being one of the first "Supergroups".
For playing very dull improvisations for many long minutes pulling silly faces.
For creating some of those silly faces in the first place - Clapton, I am trying not to look at you here. The dumb-orgasm mug that launched a billion dumb-orgasm mugs, all leaning back with their eyes closed as they fiddle with their instruments. This is bad for babies' eyes. Begone.
For the cult of Clapton, the many guitarists who followed, all soloing as if they wanted to be thrown fish, as Rimbaud III eloquently put it.
And leading on from that, all subsequent Eruptions, and the covers of almost any guitar magazine ever printed.
For squandering the all-too brief moments of glorious noise and aggression that I heard on whatever live album my father played me in the car.
And for being so serious in committing all of these bad things.
Angus Jung gave me this insight into this badness:
Angus Jung wrote:There's a semi-famous quote from Clapton where he said that he was playing a show, I forget if it was with Cream or Derek and the Dominoes or Blind Faith or what, and he was tripping on acid and "every time I played something loud, the audience's faces looked like devils, and every time I did something softer, they turned into angels. I decided I liked playing to angels better." Something like that. Anyway, to me that explains everything.
Shame on your cowardice! Away!
The Jam
You are the easiest on this list. I have no sentiment for you, apart from a fondness for That's Entertainment. But to live without that song is perfectly achievable. I need not change my daily habits so much to lose that song.
In three syllables: Paul Weller.
Your voice and the touch of mockney has been a consistent irritating influence in indie bar bands that I keep being exposed to.
Likewise, some of your more cheap ska-like inflections.
You made Wild Wood.
You brought out the worst trad rock mannerisms in Noel Gallagher, whose band occasionally showed some rocket fueled cocaine brilliance.
Dad Rock, daddio.
Disappear, foul progenitor!
The Stone Roses
This is the hardest, because I love you greatly, your first album is still one of my favourites, ever since I was a mucky moody teenager.
But so much bad has come from you! So many British bands now try to live up to your own unique cockiness, but without your class. There was only one Ian Brown, but a million Liam Gallaghers, all as dumb and arrogant as their neighbour. I went to school with your progeny, I know how corrosive such misplaced self-belief in being a Star can be.
How tired and sad am I when I see yet another bunch of fresh faces stating with bright eyes how they are "the best" and that they "really mean it, man." Confident Mancunians, you created this poor children.
I thought that your first record was exquisite. Delicately balanced, it brought to mind nostalgic glories, but was not itself nostalgic or retrogressive. I tip my imaginary hat to you for this mean trick. It sounded like magic to this youngster...
But it encouraged the mud-brained pillage of '60's novelty that engulfed British music in the '90's. Your well-imagined licks were hamfistedly transformed into porridge by your wannabe followers.
The Stone Roses, I am sorry: smitten.
Smite 3 Bands.
169Colonel Panic wrote:Damn, so much horrible music, I could even stand to hear some Avril Levigne...
I thoroughly agreed with the assessments you presented, until you belched this statement out.
Smite 3 Bands.
170Daft Punk, Linkin Park, Dave Matthews Band.
Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.