I just re-read this entire thread. So fun.

On our road trip to Minneapolis last weekend, we listened to the album Music from: The Elder, which was the hilariously bad attempt by KISS to be seen as "serious musicians" by putting out a sword-and-sorcery concept album that was intended as a soundtrack for a movie that they totally wanted to get made, but never started because the record was such vile bullshit.

And yet, still, KISS is NOT CRAP. Fuckin' "Parasite," people.

I don't know about you guys, but a world without heroes is no place for me.

KISS was my first experience with music. The first album I ever bought was Kiss Alive II. Back in 1975 I was in first grade and can remember going to school on Halloween. One of the eighth graders was dressed as Paul Stanley and it freaked me out so badly I feigned a belly-ache and was sent home. I was terrified.

For some inexplicable reason the solo to "Detroit Rock City" I thought was the darkest thing at that point I ever heard.

Paul Stanley singing "I Want You" scared the hell out of me. (You can run / you can hide / and you'll never get away)

I also owned this game:



There's a Polaroid of me holding it during the Christmas season.

When I was a pre-teen I accompanied my grandfather to Denver to assist him with working a book convention. He was a preacher and owned a religious bookstore. By this time I was pretty immersed in rock music and figured that this would be a good chance to make some extra money to buy records. He decided to drive down so I could take in the scenery and see America. To try make a long and boring story short I was so completely blown-away by the Rocky Mountains that it struck some sort of spiritual chord with me and I decided to (HA!) become religious and God-fearing.

When we returned to Chicago I went into my bedroom and put all of my records in a box to be disposed of at a later time, and then went to the mall to spend my hard-earned money. While walking around I passed a record store. Staring me right in the face was Kiss Alive. I thought about my spiritual experience for a second, savored it, and then bought the record.

The first concert I saw was Kiss w/W.A.S.P. supporting. For a kid into Kiss, seeing the huge flashing KISS logo for the first time is fucking incredible. Too bad they were sans make-up. Also, too bad they started to suck horribly. But I can never dish out any waffles because of the years of awe and enjoyment I received from their image and music. And, really, who pays that much attention to them nowadays aside from a hearty laugh every now and again. In their prime, however, they wrote good, solid, memorable rock music. Fuck you for thinking otherwise.

Not Crap

I have absolutely no opinion on Kiss, as I have never sought or been subjected to their misuc.

But I'm glad they exist, if that makes sense.

Crap on a crap cracker.
Waffles for the Melvins' version of "Going Blind".

They should kick Gene Simmons out, start playing Fucking Champs metal and rename themselves Peter, Paul & Frehley.

Dear jerks,

The Kissology 1978-1991 DVD set comes out next week. It will be both hilarious and awesome, as it covers Music From the Elder and a lot of the horrible, godawful post-makeup stuff. And it has Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park.

Maybe the two other people on this board who like Kiss will benefit from this information.

man, fuck kiss

Alive! is pure mindless, catchy fun. It has about as much deep meaning as ball-sack hair, but Good God is it fun.

Nothing in their catalog is even close to that. Kiss - Alive! is not crap. Gene Simmons' Gibson Grabber and Ace Frehley's three-humbucker Les Paul are Not Crap.

A lot of other things that are associated with Kiss are CRAP.

man, fuck kiss
for real