Fucking paper cuts: FUCK OFF!

Fucking pretentious bicyclists who cut me off in the bike lane and then ride s-l-o-w-l-y: I KILL YOU! Fuck off! My bike has no gears, but I am faster than you, Mr. Clingy Pants!

Cologne Guy, who I can smell four hours after your departure: FUCK OFF! You seem over-interested in appealing to the ladies, but you are repelling humans.

Douche who spent $11k in my gallery and then wrote a bad check for $90 to our delivery people, after haggling with them for the better part of an hour: You are a repugnant asshole. I hope your car is a magnet for keying. I hope your hair rapidly falls from your head only to fortify itself and become nests on your shoulders. I hope your tailor regularly impales your balls with straight pins. I want ingrown toenails, weekly hangnails and burning hemorroids for you, motherfucker. FUCK OFF!

Fuck Off!
All those cunts whose ears are painted on or they are just thick as shit.
I hope you feel like you have eaten bad curry for Weeeeekkksss!!!

Best,

Rachel H W

Ps You are on the top of my hate list.(and its short really I dont hate that much)

Fuckin' Power Outage FUCK OFF. Fuck off even more when it's twice in one hour. Fuck you, NYSEG.

People who JOG in the bike lane and/or street: FUCK OFF, you over-tan, nylon-nutbag-wearing douchebags. Have some melanoma, on the house.

The renters and rentees of the quadcycle: FUCK OFF. Having these slothy, totally gae carts of douche along the Lake Shore path is equivalent to letting people with walkers onto Lake Shore Drive. Welcome to Chicago! Enjoy your dinner at Applebee's! May your prefab neighborhood become infested with mold and devalue! Cheers!

itchy mcgoo wrote:People who JOG in the bike lane and/or street: FUCK OFF, you over-tan, nylon-nutbag-wearing douchebags. Have some melanoma, on the house.

The renters and rentees of the quadcycle: FUCK OFF. Having these slothy, totally gae carts of douche along the Lake Shore path is equivalent to letting people with walkers onto Lake Shore Drive. Welcome to Chicago! Enjoy your dinner at Applebee's! May your prefab neighborhood become infested with mold and devalue! Cheers!

I would pay good money (in notes) to see this band. Possibly slightly more than Gae Carts Of Douche.

itchy mcgoo wrote:Douche who spent $11k in my gallery and then wrote a bad check for $90 to our delivery people, after haggling with them for the better part of an hour: You are a repugnant asshole. I hope your car is a magnet for keying. I hope your hair rapidly falls from your head only to fortify itself and become nests on your shoulders. I hope your tailor regularly impales your balls with straight pins. I want ingrown toenails, weekly hangnails and burning hemorroids for you, motherfucker. FUCK OFF!

I have mixed feelings about this one.

I mean, obviously rich guy who writes bad checks to delivery people can fuck off.

But you charged a guy who spent $11k in your gallery an extra $90 to deliver the work?

Either way. I want your gallery to sell my work. I feel the need to be represented by someone as vindictive as yourself. Especially when it comes to slow cyclists and quadcycles. Indeed.

Apparently this kind of thing is not uncommon at all.

I have a friend who does contract work for an interior design firm. She regularly tells stories of these doucheclots who order custom-designed and -fabricated furniture for their homes and offices--with prices well into the 5-figures range--and then bitch, complain and connive their way out of a $300 delivery charge.

Design firms and art galleries are not delivery companies. If these asshats want to avoid the cost of delivery they should show up in person, strap their overpriced furniture and objets d'art on top of their humvees and drive it home themselves.

It's just another example of the sense of entitlement that people acquire from having everything in life just handed to them.

Fuck you Bernard Manning. Today, you died, and the world is a decidedly better place for it.

Girl who said she wanted to be our farfisa player and then backed out of practice twice before telling us she's too busy.

FUCK OFF!!!

People at shows who decide they'd rather have a conversation right in front of my head...

People at shows who decide to loudly sing along (especially, despite being the only one doing so)...

Creepy people who decide to hug musicians (they don't know) after the show...


really, Fuck Off.