Captain Beefheart
82honeyisfunny wrote:On the last tour they did in the UK, the band I play in opened for them and after we'd finished we all walked back into the dressing room bit offstage. The dressing room is an L-shape. We were being pretty loud in a kind of mock-jock fashion and high-fiving each other and just generally being stupid in a way that you only can when you're safe in the knowledge no can see or hear you and you've just opened for your favourite band and survived.
Our drummer Elvis shouted something along the lines of
"FUCKING YEAH FUCKING NICE ONE FUCKING TITS YEAH TITS TITS TITS"
or words to that effect as he walked through the dressing room, round the corner of the L-shape to find John French and wife on a prayer mat, praying at the far end of the dressing room. A beautiful moment.
Rockette Morton seemed to not mind. He had bought a 'Darwin' take on the born-again fish symbol sticker too.
Good times!
This may have been the tour I saw them on. They played Edinburgh and opening for them that night were the Fire Engines, playing their first show in 20 years. Both they and the Magic Band were great, although if big Don had been there, I don't he'd have let the 5 minute bass solo go..........
Captain Beefheart
83Captain Beefheart's Ten Commandments For Guitarists:
1. LISTEN TO THE BIRDS...That's where all the music comes from. Birds know
everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come
from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times
they aren't going anywhere.
2. YOUR GUITAR IS NOT REALLY A GUITAR...Your guitar is a divining rod. Use
it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is
also a fishing rod. If you're good, you'll land a big one.
3. PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A BUSH...Wait until the moon is out, then go
outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the
bush doesn't shake, eat another piece of bread.
4. WALK WITH THE DEVIL...Old delta blues players referred to amplifiers as
the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity
employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side.
Electricity attracts demons and devils. Other instruments attract other
spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy.
But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.
5. IF YOU'RE GUILTY OF THINKING, YOU'RE OUT...If your brain is part of the
process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man,
struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have
something that is fur bearing.
6. NEVER POINT YOUR GUITAR AT ANYONE...Your instrument has more power than
lightning. Just hit a big chord, then run outside to hear it. But make
sure you are not standing in an open field.
7. ALWAYS CARRY YOUR CHURCH KEY...You must carry your key and use it when
called upon. That's your part of the bargain. Like One String Sam. He was
a Detroit street musician in the fifties who played a homemade instrument.
His song "I Need A Hundred Dollars" is warm pie. Another church key holder
is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin' Wolf's guitar player. He just stands there like
the Statue of Liberty making you want to look up her dress to see how he's
doing it.
8. DON'T WIPE THE SWEAT OFF YOUR INSTRUMENT...You need that stink on
there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.
9. KEEP YOUR GUITAR IN A DARK PLACE...When you're not playing your guitar,
cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don't play your guitar for
more than a day, be sure to put a saucer of water in with it.
10. YOU GOTTA HAVE A HOOD FOR YOUR ENGINE...Wear a hat when you play and
keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your
house the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a wet paper
towel around it to make it grow.
1. LISTEN TO THE BIRDS...That's where all the music comes from. Birds know
everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come
from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times
they aren't going anywhere.
2. YOUR GUITAR IS NOT REALLY A GUITAR...Your guitar is a divining rod. Use
it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is
also a fishing rod. If you're good, you'll land a big one.
3. PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A BUSH...Wait until the moon is out, then go
outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the
bush doesn't shake, eat another piece of bread.
4. WALK WITH THE DEVIL...Old delta blues players referred to amplifiers as
the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity
employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side.
Electricity attracts demons and devils. Other instruments attract other
spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy.
But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.
5. IF YOU'RE GUILTY OF THINKING, YOU'RE OUT...If your brain is part of the
process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man,
struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have
something that is fur bearing.
6. NEVER POINT YOUR GUITAR AT ANYONE...Your instrument has more power than
lightning. Just hit a big chord, then run outside to hear it. But make
sure you are not standing in an open field.
7. ALWAYS CARRY YOUR CHURCH KEY...You must carry your key and use it when
called upon. That's your part of the bargain. Like One String Sam. He was
a Detroit street musician in the fifties who played a homemade instrument.
His song "I Need A Hundred Dollars" is warm pie. Another church key holder
is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin' Wolf's guitar player. He just stands there like
the Statue of Liberty making you want to look up her dress to see how he's
doing it.
8. DON'T WIPE THE SWEAT OFF YOUR INSTRUMENT...You need that stink on
there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.
9. KEEP YOUR GUITAR IN A DARK PLACE...When you're not playing your guitar,
cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don't play your guitar for
more than a day, be sure to put a saucer of water in with it.
10. YOU GOTTA HAVE A HOOD FOR YOUR ENGINE...Wear a hat when you play and
keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your
house the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a wet paper
towel around it to make it grow.
Captain Beefheart
84burun wrote:Captain Beefheart's Ten Commandments For Guitarists:
.
I had never seen those.
Excellent advice.
Captain Beefheart
86burun wrote: 4. WALK WITH THE DEVIL...Old delta blues players referred to amplifiers as
the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity
employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side.
Electricity attracts demons and devils. Other instruments attract other
spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy.
But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.
I will forever live by this rule.
Captain Beefheart
88burun wrote:I live to serve.
Coupled with Richard Lloyd's alchemy method of guitar, I think I've completely fucked up any hope of ever playing guitar normally.
?
Captain Beefheart
89Is the ? because you don't know about the alchemy method?
http://www.richardlloyd.com/lessons/index.htm
Beware of magnets.
http://www.richardlloyd.com/lessons/index.htm
Beware of magnets.
Captain Beefheart
90burun wrote:Is the ? because you don't know about the alchemy method?
http://www.richardlloyd.com/lessons/index.htm
Beware of magnets.
Awesome. I'm definitely checking this out. Hope it ruins my guitar method for me like Beefheart just did.