STF wrote:

Flaneur wrote:That's part of the nature of the thing though, unless the gals are in a couple or one is your girlfriend.

She was my girlfriend, that's why I was so pissed off. The guy they did it with before was a devious, short, balding George Costanza-looking accountant motherfucker. I have to give him credit, though - he was enterprising. I hear he did little but look for opportunities for threesomes. He was engaged to an attractive younger woman who knew nothing about this...

I did something about that.

You had a threesome with him and his fiance?

is it a threesome if the two girls are going at it and you only bang the one girl and not touch the other one?
Cuz that's NOT CRAP as well

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:You had a threesome with him and his fiance?

No. With my girlfriend and her friend from work. The two of them did it with this guy a couple of weeks prior.

What I did about his fiance was this: GF and I were having a low-key dinner at her apartment night when the door buzzer went off. She looked panicky.

"Expecting someone?" I asked.

"D___ and them were going out for drinks after work and they said they might stop by, but I said I had plans..."

"I'll get the door."

I buzzed them in. This D___ guy is half way up the stairs to the landing, visibly drunk and bounding up to greet me. I can see his fiance in the hallway below, along with Girl B from threesome and her fiance (a firefighter).

"Hey, man - how's it going?"

I stood at the top of the stairs and said, "I know about you A__ and A_____ - so you have about three seconds to get out of here before I beat the fuck out of you."

He looked terrified and started backing down the stairs as I walked towards him. He staggered, then literally tumbled down the remaining stairs to the hall. 3some Girl B shrieked and ran from the building. D___ picked himself up and scuttled out the door, his fiance behind him. As the door closed I heard her say, "What the FUCK is he talking about!?!"

(Girl B's fiance already knew, I guess. But I don't think he knew who-all was involved [I was guilty too]. I don't know how it sat with him that it was this fat little dork.)

Marsupialized wrote:

The Code is Almighty wrote:I'd never want to share someone I cared about.

hahahahahahahaaaa
Man, that's gold

I know, I read it and it sounds lame. All truth. I grew up around the crap and now have an aversion to it. I don't even like it in porn. The idea makes my stomach turn.

I really don't know when to just shut the fuck up.

Marsupialized wrote:is it a threesome if the two girls are going at it and you only bang the one girl and not touch the other one?
Cuz that's NOT CRAP as well

For those of you talking about living up to the pressure of the situation, this is the model for you.

If every party involved is just as into each individual then it is most assuredly not crap. Having a threesome while you are in a relationship is obviously a ticklish situation; boundaries, rules of attraction, positioning, can all ruin what could possibly be fun times if ground rules aren't established. I have many tawdry, dark, and interesting stories about threesomes and more, but I'm sure the lot of you aren't interested in those so I'll regale you with a tale that I hope you enjoy.

My friend was dating "Chloe." Chloe wants to play matchmaker and set me up with someone interesting, so she plans a double-date for all of us. We meet, and though I find her match for me physically appealing he's kind of on the uninteresting side. Nevertheless we continue on with the date. Hunger-pains set in and we decide to grab some food at the Hopleaf. For some insane reason my friend who was dating Chloe decides to call this other girl who he had been sorta seeing named "Michelle" and invites her to come and join the group. She arrives and the two girls hit it off just fine. Over mussels, the sausage plate, and lots of beers we have a wonderful time.

Later we opt for a change of scenery and decide to go to a friendly and diverse neighborhood bar called Big Chicks. By this time we are all shitfaced. I'm forgetting how uninteresting my date is and we start mashing on each other. Out of the corner of my eye I notice Chloe and Michelle also going at it while my friend is just sitting there watching the spectacle with a giant grin on his face. Chloe approaches me and tells me that I am to leave with my date, because she, Michelle, and my buddy are going back to her place to fuck. I really didn't want to go all the way with my date, but I didn't want to fuck-up the situation for my buddy who was about to experience the dream of every straight guy. Chloe and Michelle are gorgeous. Picture a young Audrey Hepburn and a slightly healthier Karen Carpenter and you'll see why I had to help make this happen for him. My date and I leave to have subpar sex, all the while hoping the best for my buddy.

The next morning I call my friend to get the story. What eventually happened was that they all make it back to Chloe's and begin to have fun. What the girls didn't end up seeing was how trashed my buddy was. He flashed all over the place and ended up passing out. Not to be defeated, the girls, (who are both bi I come to realize), end up getting it on without him. My friend ends up not living the dream.

There aren't many chances for a straight man and two beautiful and willing girls to have at it, so watch your alcohol intake, fellas.

"Flashed" all over the place? I don't know what flashed means in this context.

Minotaur029 wrote:"Flashed" all over the place? I don't know what flashed means in this context.

Flash = Puke

Over the course of my years I sometimes pepper conversation with this euphemism. See Throbbing Gristle's "Hamburger Lady" for further edification.

Sweet. Also, I haven't heard or read the word "edification" for at least two years.

I'll make sure to use it.

"I know seven or eight big words and I wear 'em like a paper hat of fake intellect."
-Doug Stanhope