simmo wrote:I started a new job today. I am working alongside A 9/11 CONSIPARCY THEORIST! ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

These people are rapidly becoming fixtures in offices around the world.

DO NOT ENGAGE THEM IN CONVERSATION.

Just as I have a 9 week clinical placement looming, with exams after that in October, I have just agreed to put on a gig; for Simmo no less. Of course, now I'm all "hmmm, I really should try and get blah blah up and the hoohas". Uh oh.

I just answered the phone to some cold caller asking for my mum. "Not here" I say. "Can I take a message?"

"No, I'll call back" He said.
I asked him where he was calling from and he said the name of some Scottish loan firm to which I asked him not to bother calling back. He replied with " I'll call back to speak to Mrs Lavery" and I repeated, " Please don't, we're not interested".

He AGAIN said he would call back and hung up on me!

I normally hang up in the first 4 seconds god dammit!

It's Supersonic next weekend. As well as being my mums and her boyfriends birthdays. I hate juggling.

I also applied to be a bank student nurse so I can get some experience of bum wiping and hanging out with patients. Scared.

"bank student nurse"


???


Obviously, I'm missing something in translation here. It sounds like you guys have nurses in your banks. I've felt faint after checking my balance a few times, but I haven't needed a nurse.

It means agency but, being employed with NHS rather than being an outside agency!

Government-subsidized bum wiping!

fantasmatical thorr wrote:I also applied to be a bank student nurse so I can get some experience of bum wiping and hanging out with patients. Scared.

Perhaps you could be a student nurse at Supersonic?

Bum-wiping tripping hipsters could be fun. Or not.

"Shoeless" Chris McGarvey wrote:This is a composite of a few weeks:
When I first moved here, I noticed all these cock and balls drawn on every other apartment building a block south of me.
I also noticed that the Asian lobster house, which goes by the name William Ho's, had also been graffitied.
As you walk south from where we dwell, You come across a brass edifice at William Ho's.
It says William Ho's and there's a space before you see two dragons in profile view facing one another.
In the space between William Ho's and the dragons it said:
"Fresh Women"
Go past the entrance, you had the same facade but it said "clean vag".
Two weeks ago I saw this group of giggling girls wearing t-shirts that said: Got Cock" on the front and had the same cock and balls on the back with the text: Big enough."
I live in a penis obsessed place.

"If you build it, he will come..."

Have you ever noticed how casually disgarded large rubber bands sometimes fall into the shape of a cock and balls?

Josef K wrote:Have you ever noticed how casually disgarded large rubber bands sometimes fall into the shape of a cock and balls?

If this isn't a college thesis in the making, I don't know WTF is.

Well, I was having a fucking great day today, until I got home and realised I'd locked myself out of my flat. Luckily I have a spare set of keys. They're in my girlfriend's flat. My set of keys for that flat? That's right, they're in my flat! FUUUUUCCCKKK!
With the aid of two neighbours, a hammer drill, a chisel, a really big screwdriver, and other assorted tools, I managed to destroy the offending lock and get into my flat. I resisted the temptation to drink a whole bottle of wine (instead I will give it to hammer drill owning neighbour), and now I get to go to B&Q to buy a new lock, and fit it! Details to follow.

Don't none of you steal my shit while I'm out, OK? Or piss through the hole in my front door.